Sex isn't always like the movies. Honestly, most of the time, it’s a bit more awkward and a lot less choreographed than what we see on screen. But there is one specific phenomenon that has shifted from being a "porn myth" to a massive topic of conversation in bedrooms and doctor's offices alike: female ejaculation. When someone says "he made me squirt," they are usually describing a physiological response that is frequently misunderstood, occasionally stigmatized, and often surrounded by a weird amount of performance pressure.
It’s a complicated topic. For decades, the medical community basically ignored it or dismissed it as "urinary incontinence." They were wrong. Modern research, including studies published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, has started to peel back the layers of what is actually happening. It turns out that the fluid released during "squirting" isn't just one thing. It's a mix. It’s chemistry. It’s a physical reaction to specific types of stimulation, usually involving the G-spot or the Skene’s glands.
If you’ve ever felt like your body was doing something you didn't quite understand during sex, you aren't alone. Let's get into the weeds of how this works, why it happens, and what the experts actually have to say about the mechanics of it all.
Understanding the "He Made Me Squirt" Phenomenon
The phrase he made me squirt often implies that the partner is the sole "operator" of the experience. While a partner's technique matters, it’s really about the individual's anatomy and how their nervous system responds to pressure. Female ejaculation generally refers to two different things: the release of a small amount of thick, milky fluid from the Skene’s glands, and the more voluminous, watery release often called squirting.
In 2014, a breakthrough study led by researchers like Samuel Salama used ultrasound and biochemical analysis to figure out what this fluid actually is. They found that while the watery expulsion contains components found in urine (like urea and creatinine), it also contains prostatic specific antigen (PSA). PSA is an enzyme produced in the prostate in men, and—surprise—the Skene’s glands are often called the "female prostate" because they are homologous structures.
Basically, your body has its own version of a prostate. When stimulated, it can produce fluid.
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The experience is often described as a sudden "rush" or a feeling of needing to pee right before the release. This is where the mental block usually happens. Because the sensation is so close to the urge to urinate, many people "clamp down" and stop the process. It takes a high level of comfort and relaxation to let that reflex happen. It isn't a requirement for a "good" orgasm. In fact, many people squirt without having a traditional climax at all, and vice versa. It’s just another way the body reacts to intense arousal.
The Role of the Skene’s Glands and Anatomy
Why does it happen for some and not for others? Anatomy varies wildly. The Skene’s glands sit near the lower end of the urethra. Some people have very active glands; others have smaller ones that don't produce much fluid. Dr. Beverly Whipple, who helped popularize the term "G-spot" in the 1980s, has spent years documenting that the stimulation of the anterior vaginal wall (the G-spot area) is the most common trigger.
When a partner uses a "come hither" motion or rhythmic pressure against that wall, they are essentially massaging the area where these glands reside.
It’s not magic. It’s physics.
But here’s the thing: the pressure to perform this specific act has become a bit of a burden. Thanks to the internet, many people feel like their sex life is "incomplete" if they haven't experienced this. That's nonsense. Sexual satisfaction is subjective. If you’re chasing a specific physical output because you saw it in a video, you’re probably missing out on the actual pleasure of the moment. The phrase he made me squirt should be a description of a fun, accidental discovery, not a goal on a checklist that causes anxiety.
Misconceptions and the "Pee" Debate
We have to address the elephant in the room. Is it pee? The answer is... sort of, but also no.
The fluid involved in high-volume squirting is processed through the bladder. Research shows that the bladder fills up significantly during arousal, and the fluid released is chemically different from the "first-morning" urine you’d see in a doctor’s office. It’s mostly water. It’s diluted.
- Chemical markers: It contains PSA and acid phosphatase.
- The process: The bladder undergoes a physiological change during intense arousal that allows for this release.
- The volume: It can range from a few drops to a significant amount.
Does the "what" really matter? For most people, the "how it feels" is way more important than the "what is the chemical composition." If it feels good and everyone involved is consenting and comfortable, the biological classification of the fluid is secondary.
Technique and the Mental Game
If you are looking to explore this, it usually requires a combination of deep relaxation and specific physical stimulation. You can't force a reflex. It’s like trying to force yourself to sneeze. You can create the conditions for a sneeze, but you can't make your body do it through sheer will.
Most experts, including sex educators like Emily Nagoski (author of Come As You Are), emphasize the importance of "context." Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If you’re worried about the sheets or feeling self-conscious about your body, your sympathetic nervous system (the "fight or flight" mode) will take over. To experience things like female ejaculation, you need the parasympathetic nervous system to be in the driver’s seat.
Communication is the actual "secret" technique.
When someone says he made me squirt, it usually means that the partner was paying close attention to feedback. They weren't just guessing. They were watching for physical cues—increased breathing, arching of the back, or changes in lubrication. Using plenty of lubricant is also key. Friction is the enemy of this kind of stimulation. You want smooth, consistent, and firm pressure.
Common Barriers to the Experience
- Fear of mess: This is a big one. It’s hard to let go when you’re worried about a mattress. Towels are your friend. Use them.
- The "Urge" Confusion: The feeling of needing to urinate is so similar to the feeling of an impending squirt that many people pull back right at the peak.
- Dehydration: If you’re dehydrated, your body isn't going to produce much excess fluid.
- Overthinking: If you’re "spectating"—watching yourself from the outside to see if it’s happening—it probably won't.
The E-E-A-T Perspective: What the Doctors Say
Medical professionals often see patients who are concerned that they are squirting or that they aren't. Dr. Jen Gunter, a well-known OB/GYN, has written extensively about how we shouldn't pathologize these normal variations in human sexual response. If you release fluid during sex, you don't have a "leaky bladder" in the traditional sense, provided it’s happening in the context of arousal.
However, if you are experiencing involuntary leakage during exercise, sneezing, or laughing, that’s stress urinary incontinence. That’s a different issue related to the pelvic floor muscles.
It is also worth noting that the "G-spot" itself is a controversial term in some medical circles. Some anatomists argue it isn't a distinct "spot" but rather a complex where the clitoris, urethra, and vaginal wall meet. When a partner is stimulating that area, they are likely hitting the internal roots of the clitoris. This reinforces the idea that he made me squirt is actually a full-body, interconnected event involving multiple structures working together.
Practical Insights for the Bedroom
So, how do you actually use this information? First, stop treatng it like a finish line. The goal of sex is connection and pleasure, not fluid production. If it happens, cool. If not, also cool.
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If you want to experiment, start by focusing on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. Use a firm, rhythmic pressure. Experiment with different positions that allow for deeper access to that area—often, having the person on top or using a pillow under the hips helps. And for the love of everything, stay hydrated. Your body can't create fluid out of thin air.
- Empty the bladder partially: Some people find it easier to relax if they've gone to the bathroom recently, while others find that a slightly full bladder helps trigger the reflex.
- The "Towels" approach: Lay down a waterproof blanket. Taking the "mess" factor out of the equation does wonders for the mental side of things.
- Focus on the build-up: Rapid-fire stimulation rarely works. You need a high level of overall arousal before the Skene’s glands even begin to prepare for release.
Actionable Next Steps
If you’re interested in exploring this aspect of your sexuality further, here are the most effective ways to move forward:
- Check your Pelvic Floor: Consider seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist. Not because something is "wrong," but because learning how to consciously relax and contract those muscles gives you much more control and awareness of your internal sensations.
- Self-Exploration first: Don't wait for a partner. Understanding your own "map" is the best way to eventually guide someone else.
- Read the real research: If you want to dive deeper into the science, look up the studies by Dr. Salama or the historical work of the Kinsey Institute. Knowledge is the best way to kill performance anxiety.
- Communicate without shame: Talk to your partner about what feels good. Use specific directions. Instead of saying "do that," try "more pressure there" or "don't stop that rhythm."
In the end, the phrase he made me squirt is just one way to describe the vast, weird, and wonderful variety of human sexual expression. Your body isn't a machine, and your sex life isn't a performance for an audience. It’s a personal journey. Explore it at your own pace, with your own boundaries, and remember that the most important "organ" involved is always your brain. Use it to stay informed, stay safe, and keep things in perspective.