Hollywood is kinda famous for messy breakups. You see a "power couple" on the red carpet one week, and the next, they've scrubbed their Instagrams and put the mansion on the market. But Harry Shum Jr married his longtime partner, Shelby Rabara, nearly a decade ago, and they’ve somehow managed to stay completely drama-free.
It’s rare. Like, "seeing a shooting star while winning the lottery" rare.
The Grey’s Anatomy and Glee alum didn’t just stumble into a lucky marriage. He and Shelby have been together since 2007. That’s almost twenty years of navigating the ego-bruising world of acting, dancing, and voice-over work. If you’re looking for the secret sauce to how they’ve stayed so solid while everyone else is filing for divorce, you’ve come to the right place.
👉 See also: Julia Roberts' Twins: Why Hazel and Phinnaeus Moder Choose to Stay Off-Screen
How Harry Shum Jr and Shelby Rabara Actually Met
Most people think they met on the set of Glee. It makes sense, right? They both have serious pipes and even better moves. But the truth is actually a bit more "struggling artist" than "network TV glam."
They were actually running in the same circles as professional dancers in Los Angeles long before they were famous. Think sweaty auditions and commercial gigs. Shelby was a Laker Girl; Harry was dancing for icons like Beyoncé. They were basically two people working the same grind who eventually realized they were better together.
Honestly, it was Shelby who paved the way for Harry’s big break. She filmed the pilot for Glee first. She came home and told him it was something special, something that "fulfilled her as an artist." Harry listened, auditioned, and the rest is Mike Chang history.
The Wedding: A Tropical Escape in Costa Rica
When it came time to tie the knot, they didn’t do the whole "exclusive Hollywood hotel" thing. They went to Costa Rica. Specifically, they got married on November 22, 2015.
The guest list was basically a Glee reunion. We’re talking Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, and Amber Riley all hanging out in the jungle. It wasn't just a ceremony; it was a weekend-long party where they lit paper lanterns on the beach.
Why Costa Rica? Well, Harry was actually born in Limón. His family moved to the States when he was six, but his roots are deep there—his father still lives in the country. It wasn't just a destination wedding for the aesthetic; it was a homecoming.
Parenthood and "Baby Xia"
In March 2019, the couple welcomed their first child, a daughter named Xia.
They’ve been pretty protective of her, which is smart. You won’t see her face plastered across every tabloid, but they do share the occasional sweet moment. When they announced her birth, they used the lyrics to Elton John’s "Your Song": How wonderful life is now you're in the world.
It’s clear that having a kid changed their dynamic. They aren't just the "cool dancing couple" anymore; they're parents who have to figure out how to balance Everything Everywhere All at Once press tours with preschool runs.
👉 See also: How Old Is Hillary Clinton? The Surprising Reality of Her 2026 Schedule
Collaborative Success: More Than Just Romance
What’s really cool about Harry and Shelby is that they actually work together. A lot of couples avoid this because, well, it’s hard to be around your spouse 24/7.
But in 2024 and 2025, they leaned into their shared passion for dance by co-authoring a children's book called Martee Dares to Dance. It’s a project they spent years brewing over coffee. They wanted to show kids that movement is a universal language, which is sort of the thesis of their entire relationship.
Why They Actually Last (Expert Take)
If you look at the "Harry Shum Jr married" timeline, you'll notice a pattern of stability that defies the industry standard.
- Long Engagement: They were together for nearly seven years before he proposed in Hawaii in 2013.
- Cultural Alignment: Both are dancers first, which creates a physical and emotional shorthand.
- Privacy: They share enough to be relatable, but keep the "meat" of their relationship behind closed doors.
Shelby has carved out her own massive career, notably voicing Peridot in the Steven Universe franchise. She isn't just "Harry's wife"—she’s a powerhouse in the voice-acting world. This mutual respect for each other’s individual success seems to be the bedrock of their longevity.
What Most People Get Wrong
There’s a misconception that Harry and Shelby are just another "celebrity pairing." They aren't. They started as two dancers with no money and a lot of dreams.
They didn't meet at a VIP party at Coachella. They met while trying to pay rent in LA. That kind of foundation is harder to break than a relationship built on red carpets and PR agents.
If you’re following their journey, the next big thing to watch for is their continued expansion into production and literature. They are moving away from just being "talent" and becoming creators who shape how we think about movement and family.
📖 Related: Peter Michael Escovedo and Karen Moss: The Truth Behind the Headlines
For fans of Harry’s work on Grey’s Anatomy or Shelby’s voice work, their relationship isn't just a footnote. It’s the engine that keeps them grounded. If you want to see what a healthy Hollywood marriage looks like, just look at these two. They aren't trying to sell you a lifestyle; they’re just living one.
To stay updated on their latest projects, your best bet is following their social channels for book tour dates and new voice-acting roles. You can also catch Harry's recurring role on Grey's Anatomy, where he continues to be a fan favorite.