Life has a nasty habit of punching you in the gut right when you think you’ve followed all the rules. You’re kind to your neighbors. You pay your taxes. You try to be a decent human being. And then, out of nowhere, a diagnosis, an accident, or a sudden loss makes a mockery of your moral scorecard. It feels personal. It feels like a betrayal by the universe.
For decades, the standard religious response to this was basically "God has a plan" or "He’s testing you." Honestly? That’s cold comfort when you’re standing over a casket.
Rabbi Harold S. Kushner knew this better than anyone. He wasn't just some academic looking for a debate; he was a father who had to watch his three-year-old son, Aaron, get diagnosed with progeria. It’s a rare, cruel disease that turns children into old men. Aaron died at 14.
Kushner’s landmark book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, didn't just become a bestseller because of the catchy title. It blew up because it offered a radical, almost scandalous alternative to the "everything happens for a reason" cliche.
Why the Clichés Actually Hurt
When someone is suffering, we tend to say some pretty stupid things. We do it because we’re uncomfortable. If we can find a reason for someone else's tragedy—maybe they didn't pray enough, or maybe God needed another angel—it makes us feel safer. It suggests the world is orderly.
Kushner argued that these explanations are actually a form of spiritual cruelty. If you tell a grieving mother that God took her child because He "tests those He loves," you aren't comforting her. You're making God look like a bully. You’re telling her that her pain is a deliberate act of divine will.
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He spent years listening to people in his congregation blame themselves for their own cancer or their spouse’s job loss. They were desperate to find a "why." They figured if they were the cause, they could fix it. But Kushner saw that this line of thinking leads to a dead end of guilt and resentment.
The Bold Claim: God Isn't All-Powerful
This is the part that still makes traditional theologians twitch. Kushner’s central thesis in When Bad Things Happen to Good People is that God is all-loving, but not necessarily all-powerful.
He suggests that there are two things God doesn't control:
- The Laws of Nature: Gravity doesn't care if you're a saint or a serial killer. If you fall, you’ll hit the ground. Cells mutate. Tectonic plates shift. These things happen because the world is a physical, sometimes chaotic place, not because God is targeting individuals.
- Human Free Will: For humans to be truly free, God has to stay out of the way. That means He doesn't stop the drunk driver or the thief. If He did, we'd be puppets, not people.
Basically, Kushner is saying that bad luck exists. It’s not a popular answer. Most of us want a God who can swoop in and stop the bullet. But Kushner argued that it's more "religiously productive" to believe in a God who is on our side, crying with us in the wreckage, rather than a God who caused the wreckage to teach us a lesson.
The Book of Job: A Different Perspective
Kushner leans heavily on the Book of Job, but he interprets it in a way that flips the script. Most people see Job as a story about patience. Kushner sees it as a story about the limits of divine intervention.
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In his view, the ending of Job—where God shows up in a whirlwind—isn't God saying "I'm bigger than you, so shut up." It's God saying, "I created a magnificent, complex world, but even I have to deal with the chaos (represented by the beasts Behemoth and Leviathan) that remains."
He essentially offers a trade-off. You can have a God who is responsible for everything (including the holocaust and childhood cancer) or you can have a God who is purely good but limited by the reality of the world He created. Kushner chose the latter. He felt it was the only way to keep loving God without losing his mind.
What People Get Wrong About His Message
Critics often jump on Kushner for "weakening" God. They say he’s offering a "God-lite" version of faith. They argue that if God isn't in control of everything, then He isn't really God.
But that misses the nuance. Kushner isn't saying God is useless. He’s saying God’s power isn't coercive—it’s sustenance.
The power of God, in Kushner's eyes, is found in the neighbor who brings over a casserole. It’s found in the courage that allows a person to get out of bed after a tragedy. It’s the strength to keep going when the world feels like it's falling apart. To him, these are the real "acts of God."
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Actionable Steps for Dealing with the "Unfairness" of Life
So, what do you actually do with this? If you’re currently in the middle of a "bad thing," here’s how the Kushner philosophy applies in real time.
- Stop asking "Why me?" and start asking "What now?"
The "why" is often just bad luck or biology. There is no hidden message in the tragedy. Instead, focus on the immediate next step. Who can help? What do I need today? - Reject the Guilt Trap
If you’ve been searching your past for some "sin" that caused your current misfortune, stop. It’s a waste of energy. You didn't cause the earthquake, and you didn't cause the cancer. - Look for "God" in the People Around You
Instead of waiting for a miracle from the sky, look for the divinity in human kindness. The strength you feel to endure another hour? That’s where the spiritual support is actually happening. - Forgive the World for Being Imperfect
This sounds weird, but Kushner suggests we have to "forgive" God and the world for not being as perfect as we want them to be. Life is messy. Acceptance is the only way to avoid becoming bitter.
The Long-Term Impact
Kushner died in 2023 at the age of 88. His legacy isn't just a book on a shelf; it’s a shift in how we handle grief. Before him, many people felt they had to choose between their intellect and their faith when tragedy struck.
He gave them a third option.
He validated the anger. He validated the feeling that "this isn't fair." Most importantly, he told people it was okay to be mad at the situation without having to walk away from their spiritual life entirely.
If you’re struggling with a loss or a hardship that makes no sense, don't look for a grand plan. Look for the resilience within yourself and the compassion of the people around you. That’s where the healing actually begins.
Next Steps for Reflection:
- Identify one "explanation" for your suffering that has been making you feel guilty or angry, and consciously choose to let it go.
- Reach out to one person who has been a source of strength for you and acknowledge their role as a "comforter" in the Kushner sense.
- Read the final chapter of When Bad Things Happen to Good People for his specific thoughts on prayer as a tool for strength rather than a shopping list for miracles.