In 2018, you couldn't walk through a Target without hitting a display of a bright yellow book. It was everywhere. Rachel Hollis, a former event planner turned lifestyle mogul, had essentially bottled lightning with Girl Wash Your Face. It wasn't just a book; it was a cultural phenomenon that stayed on the New York Times bestseller list for over seven months. People loved it. They bought the journals, the "Start Today" planners, and the tickets to high-energy RISE conferences where Hollis would pace the stage in high-top sneakers, telling women they were the only ones responsible for their own happiness.
But things changed. Fast.
If you look back at the core message of Girl Wash Your Face, it's basically a manifesto of extreme individual accountability. Hollis starts by dismantling what she calls "lies" that women believe about themselves—lies like "I’m not a good mom" or "I should be further along by now." Her solution? Work harder. Get up at 5:00 AM. Drink more water. Stop making excuses. It’s the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality, but wearing a floral print and holding a latte. For a long time, this was exactly what a specific demographic of suburban women wanted to hear. They felt seen. They felt empowered.
Then the cracks started showing. Critics began pointing out that the advice in Girl Wash Your Face ignored the massive systemic hurdles that most women face. It’s a lot easier to "wash your face" and conquer the world when you have a nanny, a housekeeper, and a booming business. When you’re a single mom working two jobs just to keep the lights on, being told that your unhappiness is your own fault feels less like "tough love" and more like a slap in the face.
The Core Lies and the Hollis Formula
The book is structured around twenty specific lies Hollis says she used to believe. She uses her own life as the primary case study, sharing vulnerable stories about her brother's suicide, her struggles with alcohol, and the grueling process of adoption. This vulnerability is what made her so relatable. It felt like chatting with a big sister who had finally figured it all out. She wasn't an academic or a doctor; she was a "relatable" mom who happened to have millions of followers.
One of the most famous sections is about the lie "I’ll start tomorrow." Hollis argues that when you break a promise to yourself—like a diet or a fitness goal—you’re training yourself to be unreliable. She’s blunt. She says if a friend stood you up as often as you stand yourself up, you’d fire that friend. So why do you keep doing it to yourself?
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It’s a compelling argument. Truly.
But this brand of "hustle culture" has a dark side that many lifestyle experts have since criticized. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist who specializes in women’s mental health, has often spoken about how "faux self-care" like the kind promoted in Girl Wash Your Face puts the burden of wellness entirely on the individual. It suggests that if you’re stressed, it’s because you didn't manage your time well enough, rather than acknowledging that our society often lacks the support structures—like paid maternity leave or affordable childcare—that women actually need to thrive.
Why the Backlash to Girl Wash Your Face Became a Movement
You can't talk about this book without talking about the "Toiletgate" incident of 2021. Even though it happened years after the book's release, it retroactively changed how many people read Girl Wash Your Face. In a now-infamous TikTok, Hollis responded to a commenter who called her "privileged" by pointing out that she has a woman who comes to her house twice a week to clean her toilets. She then compared herself to Harriet Tubman and Malala Yousafzai, claiming she was "unrelatable" because she worked harder than everyone else.
The internet exploded.
This moment was the tipping point. It highlighted the exact criticism that had been simmering since the book first hit shelves: the idea that success is purely a matter of will. For many, the "unrelatable" comment confirmed that the advice in Girl Wash Your Face was built on a foundation of immense privilege that Hollis refused to acknowledge. The community that had once found her "wash your face" mantra life-changing suddenly felt alienated.
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Faith, Finance, and Feminism
The book also occupies a strange middle ground between secular self-help and Christian inspiration. Hollis identifies as a Christian, and while the book isn't strictly "religious," it’s peppered with mentions of God. This helped it explode in the "Southern Belle" and "Mommy Blogger" circles. However, some Christian theologians actually criticized the book for being too self-focused. They argued that it replaced the Gospel with the "Gospel of Self," where you are your own savior.
On the other hand, secular feminists found the book’s focus on aesthetics and "having it all" to be a regressive form of empowerment. Is it really feminist to tell women they need to be "girl bosses" while still maintaining a perfect home and a specific body type?
- The Problem of "Should": The book is heavy on what women "should" be doing.
- The Weight of Accountability: While taking ownership is good, taking all the blame for things outside your control is a recipe for burnout.
- The Aesthetic of Success: Much of the advice is tied to looking a certain way or achieving a specific type of social status.
Does the Advice Actually Work?
If we strip away the controversy, is there any value left in the "Wash Your Face" philosophy? Honestly, yes—in small doses.
There is a psychological concept called "Internal Locus of Control." People who believe they have power over their lives tend to be more resilient than those who feel like victims of circumstance. When Hollis tells you to stop making excuses and take a small step forward, she’s tapping into that. For someone who is stuck in a cycle of procrastination or self-pity, the "tough love" approach can be the jolt they need to get moving.
The danger is when that jolt becomes a permanent lifestyle. You can't "hustle" your way out of clinical depression. You can't "wash your face" to fix a toxic work environment or a lack of systemic support. The book lacks the nuance to distinguish between "I’m choosing to stay in bed" and "I physically and mentally cannot get out of bed today."
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Actionable Steps for Navigating Personal Growth
If you're looking at your copy of Girl Wash Your Face and wondering if you should keep it or toss it, consider a more balanced approach to self-improvement. Personal growth doesn't have to be a punishing marathon.
Audit your influences. Take a look at the people you follow on social media. Do they make you feel capable, or do they make you feel like you're constantly "behind"? If the "hustle" content is making you feel inadequate rather than inspired, hit unfollow. You don't owe anyone your attention, especially if their brand of "empowerment" feels like a burden.
Distinguish between "Self-Help" and "Self-Care." Real self-care is often boring. It’s setting boundaries, saying no to extra projects, and getting enough sleep—not because you want to be a "boss," but because your body needs it. Self-help should give you tools, not just a longer to-do list.
Acknowledge your context. When you set goals, be honest about your resources. Do you have the time, money, and emotional energy to pursue a massive new project right now? If not, that’s not a failure. It’s a fact. Adjust your goals to fit your actual life, not the life of an influencer with a full-time staff.
Seek communal growth. Instead of focusing entirely on what you can do for yourself, look at how you can build community. Growth often happens faster when we share the load. Join a local group, talk to friends about your struggles, and realize that you aren't an island. You don't have to do it all alone.
The legacy of Girl Wash Your Face is complicated. It served as a massive wake-up call for millions of women, but it also became a case study in the pitfalls of toxic productivity and unexamined privilege. Moving forward, the goal is to keep the spark of ambition without letting the flame of "hustle culture" burn you out completely. Wash your face if it makes you feel better, but remember that it's okay if you need a little help with the rest of the mess.