It is the ultimate status symbol for a certain crowd. People call it the "Mergers and Acquisitions" page of the social world. Honestly, landing a New York Times wedding announcement feels a lot like applying to an Ivy League school, mostly because the rejection rate is just as high. You’ve probably seen them—the black-and-white photos, the Ivy League degrees listed like merit badges, and those meet-cute stories that sound like they were scripted by a Nora Ephron protégé.
But here’s the thing. It isn't just for the Vanderbilt descendants anymore.
The Times has evolved. Sorta. While the "Vows" column remains the crown jewel of the Weddings section, the standard announcements have opened up, even if the gatekeeping remains intense. If you're looking to see your name in that iconic font, you need to understand that this isn't a paid advertisement. You can't just buy your way in with a credit card and a nice headshot. It's a curated editorial selection. They pick the stories they think their readers will find "noteworthy." That’s a subjective, frustrating, and very specific bar to clear.
The Vows Column vs. The Standard Announcement
Most people get these two mixed up. A standard New York Times wedding announcement is a relatively short write-up. It lists the couple, their parents, their occupations, and their education. It’s prestigious, sure, but it’s essentially a high-end social record.
Then there’s "Vows."
"Vows" is a different beast entirely. It’s a full-blown feature story. It’s narrative. It’s often quirky. It usually focuses on one couple per week and goes deep into the "how we met" and the "how we almost didn't make it." If you want to be in Vows, you need a hook. "We met at a coffee shop and liked each other" won't cut it. The Times wants drama, or at least a very compelling series of coincidences. Think: "We met while both volunteering at a penguin rescue in South Africa after both being stood up by our previous dates." That’s Vows material.
When Should You Actually Apply?
Timing is everything. You can't send this in the day after you cut the cake. The New York Times is very strict about their lead times. They generally require you to submit your materials at least six weeks before the wedding date. If you're aiming for a Sunday print edition, you’re competing with every other couple in the tri-state area and beyond.
Don't wait.
Seriously, if you're even thinking about it, start gathering your info now. The paper typically publishes announcements on the Sunday following the ceremony. If you're getting married on a Saturday, your announcement would ideally appear the very next day or the following Sunday. If you miss that window, your chances of getting in drop to basically zero. They don't do "throwback" wedding announcements unless you’re a major celebrity, and even then, it's rare.
👉 See also: How Much Does the Scooter Cost: The Reality of What You’ll Actually Pay
The Secret Sauce of "Noteworthiness"
What makes a couple "Times-worthy"? It’s a question that has plagued brides and grooms for decades. Historically, it was about lineage. If your grandfather’s name is on a building at Yale, you’re probably in. But today, the editors are looking for achievement and interesting life paths.
They love:
- Public service. Peace Corps, high-level non-profit work, or specialized government roles.
- Academic prestige. Not just where you went, but what you did. Did you win a Rhodes Scholarship? Are you a published neuroscientist?
- Career pivots. A corporate lawyer who quit to become a goat farmer? The Times eats that up.
- Cultural impact. Artists, musicians, or people who have made a genuine dent in their field.
They also value diversity in every sense—geographic, ethnic, and experiential. They want a section that reflects a broader world, not just a three-block radius of the Upper East Side. If you have an unconventional story, lean into it. Don't try to sound like a 1950s debutante if you're a tech founder from Austin. Authenticity actually helps.
The Photo: Why Your Selfie Won’t Work
The photo requirements are surprisingly clinical. You need a high-resolution headshot of the couple. No, not a photo of you at a bar. No, not a photo with your dog (unless you're applying for a specific lifestyle feature, but even then, tread carefully).
The Times prefers "shoulders-up" shots. Both faces should be close together. The lighting needs to be professional. Traditionally, these were always black and white, and while digital versions are color, the "look" of the Times wedding announcement is still very much rooted in that classic, clean aesthetic. If your photo looks like a blurry iPhone snap, the editor will likely move on to the next submission without even reading your bio. It sounds harsh, but they have thousands of options. They want something that looks good in newsprint.
How to Handle the Submission Form
You have to use their official online submission system. It’s a bit of a slog. You’ll need to provide:
- Full names and ages.
- Occupations and employers (be specific).
- Educational background (degrees and honors).
- Parents’ names and their occupations (yes, they still track lineage).
- The name of the person officiating.
Be honest. The New York Times has a legendary fact-checking department. If you claim you graduated magna cum laude and you actually just scraped by, they will find out. They’ve pulled announcements at the last minute because of "embellishments." It’s not worth the embarrassment.
The Interview Process (If You’re Lucky)
If an editor likes your story for a feature like "Vows," they will contact you for an interview. This is where things get real. They don't just want the highlights; they want the grit. They might ask about your previous relationships, your first fight, or your doubts.
It’s an interview, not a PR session.
Be prepared to talk for an hour or more. They might interview your friends or family too. The goal of the writer is to find the "truth" of the relationship. Sometimes couples find this process a bit invasive. If you’re a private person, the "Vows" column might actually be your nightmare. But if you want that iconic story to frame on your wall, you have to play the game.
Common Mistakes That Lead to Rejection
Most people fail because they try too hard to sound "important." They use flowery language and buzzwords. The Times editors have seen it all. They can smell a "social climber" vibe from a mile away.
Another big mistake? Sending the wrong type of photo. Again, the photo is the first thing they see. If it doesn't meet their technical specs, you're out. Also, don't follow up incessantly. Sending ten emails to the weddings desk won't get you published; it will get you blocked. They get hundreds of submissions a week. If they want you, they’ll let you know.
Is It Even Worth It Anymore?
Some people think the New York Times wedding announcement is a relic of a bygone era. We have Instagram now, right? We have TikTok "get ready with me" wedding videos. Why do we care about a blurb in a newspaper?
✨ Don't miss: How to Pronounce Weirdest Without Sounding Like an Amateur
There’s still a weight to it. It’s a permanent record. In an age of ephemeral digital content, having your union documented by the "Paper of Record" still carries a specific kind of gravity. It’s a gift for your parents and a piece of history for your future kids. Plus, let's be real—the bragging rights are unmatched in certain social circles.
Actionable Steps for Your Submission
If you're serious about this, here is your checklist. No fluff.
- Audit your "hook." Sit down with your partner. What is the one thing about your relationship that isn't boring? Is it how you met? A shared struggle? A bizarre coincidence? Identify it.
- Book a photographer early. Tell them you need a "Times-style" headshot. Clear background, even lighting, faces close together. Do this months before the wedding.
- Draft your bio in plain English. Don't use "synergy" or "passionate about." Just state what you do and where you went to school. Let the facts do the heavy lifting.
- Set a calendar alert for the 7-week mark. Give yourself a buffer. If you miss the six-week deadline, you are effectively disqualified.
- Check the "State of the Unions" and "Vows" archives. Read the last 20 stories. Notice the tone. Notice the details they highlight. Use that to shape your own narrative.
- Be prepared for "No." Most people don't get in. It doesn't mean your wedding isn't beautiful or your love isn't valid. It just means you didn't fit the specific editorial puzzle they were building that week.
Submit your materials through the official NYT Wedding Form on their website. Ensure all professional titles are accurate and that you have the express permission of your officiant to list their name. Once the form is sent, turn your focus back to your actual wedding. The best way to handle the wait is to forget you applied at all. If you see your names in print on that Sunday morning, it's a fantastic surprise. If not, you still have a marriage, which is kind of the point anyway.