Stop sending that spreadsheet of generic questions. You know the one. It asks about "favorite colors" or "if you were a kitchen appliance, which would you be?" It’s painful. Most people hate them because they feel like corporate homework rather than actual human connection.
A getting to know you survey shouldn’t feel like a deposition.
If you’re a manager, a teacher, or a community leader, you’ve probably felt that awkward silence during a Zoom call or a first-day orientation. You want to bridge the gap. You want to know if your new hire is a morning person or if they prefer Slack over email. But if the delivery is stiff, the answers will be too. Honestly, the best surveys are the ones that respect people's time while digging just an inch deeper than the surface level.
The Psychology of the First Impression
Why do we even do this? Humans are wired for tribal belonging. Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher at the University of Houston, often discusses how connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. A poorly designed survey does the opposite—it makes people feel like a data point.
When you ask a new teammate about their communication style, you aren't just filling a folder. You're building a psychological safety net. Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson defines psychological safety as a shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. By asking, "How do you like to receive feedback?" you're signaling that their comfort matters. It's a small move with a massive ROI.
People are busy. If you drop a 30-question Google Form into someone's inbox on their first day, they'll skim it. They'll give you the "professional" answers. "I'm a hard worker." "I love collaborating." Boring. And mostly useless. You want the truth. You want to know that Sarah in accounting loses her mind if she's interrupted during "deep work" hours, or that Marcus actually prefers a phone call to a long-winded email thread.
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Ditch the "Favorite Color" Questions
Let’s be real. Nobody cares what someone’s favorite color is in a professional or academic setting. It tells you nothing about how to work with them. Instead, focus on "operational" questions mixed with "human" ones.
Think about the "User Manual to Me" concept. It’s a trend that’s been floating around tech circles for a few years. It’s basically a getting to know you survey that functions like an instruction booklet.
Instead of asking "What are your hobbies?", try asking "What is something you could give a 10-minute presentation on with zero preparation?" This reveals passion and expertise without feeling like a generic probe. Or, instead of "Are you a morning person?", ask "When is your 'golden hour' for productivity?" This is actionable data. You now know not to schedule a high-stakes brainstorming session with that person at 4:00 PM on a Friday.
The format matters as much as the content. Mix it up. Use a few multiple-choice questions for the easy stuff. Then, throw in one or two open-ended questions that allow for a bit of personality. But keep the open-ended ones brief. Nobody wants to write an essay on a Tuesday morning.
Building a Survey That Doesn't Suck
Structure is everything. Start with the easy wins. Name, pronouns, role—the basics. Then move into the "Work/Life Integration" section. This is where you find out about the stuff that actually affects day-to-day operations.
- Communication preferences: Do they want a "heads up" before a call?
- Feedback loops: Public praise or private Slack message?
- Work environment: Quiet focus or collaborative buzz?
Then, add the "Human Elements." This is the section that prevents your team from becoming a group of avatars. Ask about pets. Ask about the last book that actually made them think. Ask about their favorite local coffee shop. These are "hooks" for future conversations. When you see a teammate struggling later, you can mention that coffee shop. It shows you actually read the survey.
The Problem With Forced Vulnerability
Here is where most experts get it wrong. They try to go too deep, too fast. Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, emphasizes that trust is the foundation of everything. But you can't force trust.
If your getting to know you survey asks for childhood traumas or "the hardest thing you've ever done," you're overstepping. That’s not a survey; that’s therapy. In a professional setting, that creates "vulnerability hangover." People regret sharing, and they pull back.
Keep it light but meaningful. The goal is to open a door, not to tear down the whole wall in one go. You have to earn the right to the deeper stuff through consistent, daily interactions. The survey is just the map; it’s not the journey itself.
Timing is Everything
Don't send the survey the second they sign the offer letter. They’re overwhelmed. They’re filling out tax forms and health insurance paperwork.
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Wait until day three. Or even week two. By then, the initial "new job" panic has subsided. They’ve met a few people. They have context. They’ll give more honest, relaxed answers.
Also, make it optional. Paradoxically, making it optional often increases the quality of the responses. It shows you respect their autonomy. When people feel forced to be "fun," they usually end up being resentful.
Real Examples of Questions That Actually Work
Forget the listicles you’ve seen a thousand times. Use these instead:
- "What’s a 'small win' that made your week recently?" (Reveals what they value).
- "Is there a project or task that makes you lose track of time?" (Identifies flow state).
- "How do you prefer to celebrate a big accomplishment?" (Some people hate being the center of attention).
- "What’s one thing you’re currently trying to learn, even if it’s not work-related?" (Shows growth mindset).
- "What’s your 'pet peeve' when it comes to meetings?" (Crucial for team harmony).
See the difference? These aren't just fluff. They provide a blueprint for how to interact with this specific human being.
Digital vs. Analog: Does the Tool Matter?
Honestly? Not really. Typeform is pretty. Google Forms is free and functional. SurveyMonkey is fine. What matters is the accessibility. If it doesn't work well on a phone, half your people won't finish it.
Some teams use Slack integrations like "Donut" or "BirthdayBot" to drip-feed these questions over time. This is actually a great way to keep the momentum going. Instead of one giant survey, you get one "getting to know you" question every Monday. It keeps the "getting to know you" process alive rather than a one-and-done event.
But be careful. Too many bots can feel impersonal. Sometimes, a simple email from the manager saying, "Hey, I’d love to learn how to support you better," followed by three bulleted questions, is more effective than any high-tech platform.
What to Do With the Data (The Most Important Part)
If you collect this info and then let it sit in a digital drawer, you’ve failed. You’ve actually done more harm than good. You’ve signaled to your team that their input doesn't matter.
Review the answers. If someone says they prefer written communication, don't cold-call them on Zoom. If they mention they love a specific snack, have it waiting at their desk (or send a digital gift card) when they hit a milestone.
Personalization is the highest form of respect in the modern workplace.
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Use the data to curate your management style. One size does not fit all. Some people need a high-touch environment with daily check-ins. Others need you to stay out of their way so they can execute. The getting to know you survey is your cheat sheet for being a better leader.
Actionable Next Steps
Creating a survey is the easy part. Implementing it in a way that feels authentic is the real work. Start small.
- Audit your current questions. Delete anything that sounds like a job interview or a third-grade icebreaker. If you wouldn't want to answer it, don't ask it.
- Limit the survey to 7-10 questions. Brevity is a sign of respect for the recipient’s time.
- Share your own answers first. Vulnerability starts at the top. If the boss shares that they struggle with afternoon slumps, it gives everyone else permission to be human.
- Choose a "Living Document" format. Encourage people to update their answers as they grow. Someone’s preferences in 2024 might be totally different in 2026.
- Integrate the findings into your workflows. Use the "Golden Hour" data to block out team-wide "no-meeting" zones.
This isn't just about being "nice." It's about efficiency. When you understand the people you work with, friction disappears. You stop guessing. You stop accidentally offending people. You start building a culture where people actually want to show up.
Stop thinking of it as a survey. Think of it as the first chapter of a long-term partnership. Treat the answers with care, and the ROI will show up in your retention rates and your team's overall vibe. Get it right, and you won't just have a group of employees; you'll have a functioning, high-trust team. Regardless of the tool you use, the intent must be genuine connection. If you're just checking a box, don't bother. People can smell a "corporate requirement" from a mile away. Be real, keep it brief, and actually use the information you gather. That’s how you win.