Dr. Gabor Maté spent decades working in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, a place often described as the epicenter of North American drug distress. He wasn't just treating symptoms. He was watching people break. What he saw there—and later in his private practice—led to a realization that challenges almost everything we think we know about medicine. His book, Gabor Maté The Myth of Normal, basically argues that what we call "normal" in modern society is actually a profound state of abnormality that breeds chronic disease, mental health struggles, and addiction. It’s a heavy premise. But it hits home for anyone who has ever felt like they were running a race they couldn't win while their body slowly started falling apart.
Most people think of health as a personal thing. You have "bad genes," or you "caught a bug," or you just had "bad luck." Maté flips the script. He suggests that our biological health is inseparable from our social and emotional environments. Honestly, it’s a bit of a wake-up call. We live in a world that prizes productivity over presence and profit over personhood. When you look at the skyrocketing rates of autoimmune diseases and depression, you have to wonder if it's us, or if it's the world we've built.
What Most People Get Wrong About Disease
We tend to look at the body like a machine with replaceable parts. If the liver fails, fix the liver. If the brain is sad, balance the chemicals. Maté, drawing on the field of psychoneuroimmunology, argues that the brain and body are a single, integrated system. You can't stress the mind without stressing the immune system. It's all connected.
He points out that the "biomedical model" often ignores the life of the patient. If you're a woman—and statistically, women suffer from autoimmune issues at much higher rates—who has been socialized to suppress her anger and put everyone else's needs first, that chronic "niceness" isn't just a personality trait. It’s a physiological stressor. The body eventually says "no" because the person can't. This isn't some "woo-woo" theory; it's backed by decades of research into how cortisol and chronic stress hormones degrade our internal defenses.
The "Normal" we strive for is actually toxic. Think about it. We consider it normal to work 60 hours a week, sleep five hours a night, and eat processed food on the go. We consider it normal to be isolated from our communities and glued to digital screens that trigger constant hits of dopamine and envy. If a laboratory rat lived under these conditions, we wouldn't be surprised when it developed tumors or stopped grooming itself. Yet, we expect humans to thrive in this environment.
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The Trauma We Don't Call Trauma
When people hear the word "trauma," they usually think of huge, catastrophic events. War. Abuse. Natural disasters. Maté calls these "Big T" traumas. But he introduces a more subtle concept: "small t" trauma. This is the stuff that happens when a child’s basic emotional needs aren't met—not because the parents are "bad," but because the parents themselves are stressed, distracted, or traumatized.
A child needs two things to survive: attachment and authenticity.
Attachment is the drive to be close to those who take care of us.
Authenticity is the ability to know what we feel and act on it.
If a child learns that being "authentic" (crying, being angry, being loud) threatens their "attachment" (parents getting frustrated or withdrawing love), the child will always sacrifice authenticity for attachment. They have to. It’s a survival mechanism. But that sacrifice leaves a wound. It creates a person who grows up disconnected from their own gut feelings, leading to a lifetime of internal stress that eventually manifests as physical illness or addictive behaviors.
The Bio-Psycho-Social Lens
The genius of Gabor Maté The Myth of Normal is how it weaves together the individual and the collective. We aren't just isolated biological units. We are social animals. Maté references the work of researchers like Robert Sapolsky, who studied stress in primates, to show how hierarchy and social standing directly impact health.
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In our current "civilization," we've created a culture of "disconnection." We are disconnected from nature, from our bodies, and from each other. This creates a state of physiological "dis-ease."
- Loneliness: Research shows it’s as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
- Economic Inequality: It creates a constant state of "low-rank" stress that wreaks havoc on the heart.
- Environmental Toxins: We live in a soup of chemicals that our ancestors never encountered.
Maté isn't just blaming individuals. He’s looking at the "water" we are all swimming in. If the fish are getting sick, you don't just look at the fish; you look at the tank. Our tank is currently pretty murky.
Addiction as a Response to Pain
Maté’s views on addiction are perhaps his most famous. He famously asks not "Why the addiction?" but "Why the pain?" He views all addictions—whether to drugs, work, shopping, or social media—as desperate attempts to solve a problem. Usually, that problem is emotional pain or a sense of emptiness rooted in childhood.
By criminalizing addiction, society essentially punishes people for being traumatized. It’s a feedback loop of suffering. Maté argues that if we treated addiction as a health issue rooted in trauma rather than a moral failing or a simple genetic "brain disease," our success rates in treatment would skyrocket. He’s seen it happen. When people feel safe and understood, the need to self-medicate begins to dissolve.
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Can We Actually Heal?
It sounds bleak, right? A toxic culture, rampant trauma, and a medical system that misses the point. But Maté is actually quite hopeful. He believes that healing is possible because the body and mind have an innate drive toward wholeness.
Healing isn't necessarily "curing." You might not get rid of a chronic condition, but you can change your relationship to it. You can reclaim your authenticity. This involves "un-learning" the survival strategies you picked up in childhood. It means learning how to say "no" so your body doesn't have to say it for you.
He outlines "The Four A's" and various pathways to recovery, but it basically boils down to one thing: awareness. Once you see the "myth" for what it is, you can stop trying to be "normal" and start trying to be whole.
Actionable Steps for Navigating a Toxic Culture
The shift from "normal" to healthy requires more than just a new diet or a gym membership. It requires a radical shift in how you relate to your life.
- Audit Your "Niceness": Start noticing when you say "yes" but your body feels like "no." That tension in your chest or the sudden headache? That’s your physiology reacting to a betrayal of your authenticity. Practice setting one small boundary a week.
- Reconnect with the Body: Most of us live from the neck up. Somatic practices—whether it's yoga, breathwork, or just sitting quietly and feeling the sensations in your feet—help bridge the gap between the mind and the immune system.
- Investigate Your History: You don't need a "Big T" trauma to have been shaped by your environment. Look at the ways you adapted as a child to keep the peace or get attention. Are those strategies still serving you, or are they causing you stress?
- Prioritize Community: Disconnection is a pathogen. Find people with whom you can be your "un-curated" self. Vulnerability is the antidote to the isolation that modern culture thrives on.
- Reframe Illness: If you are dealing with a chronic issue, ask yourself: "What is my body trying to tell me that I haven't been able to say out loud?" It sounds simple, but the answers can be profound.
Modern life isn't designed for human flourishing. It's designed for efficiency. But your body doesn't care about efficiency; it cares about safety and connection. By acknowledging the "myth of normal," you give yourself permission to step out of the grind and back into your own life. It’s not an easy path, but it’s the only one that leads home.