When the "for the girls" Hayley Kiyoko video dropped in mid-2022, it felt like the internet collectively exhaled. It wasn't just another pop song. It was a cultural "hard launch" disguised as a reality TV parody. If you weren't there for the chaos, you basically missed one of the most clever marketing moves in queer pop history.
Everyone calls her "Lesbian Jesus" for a reason. She doesn't just write songs; she builds worlds where being queer is the default, not the "alternative" subplot. With for the girls, she took the most heteronormative structure imaginable—The Bachelorette—and flipped it on its head.
But there is a lot more to this track than just a funny video and some catchy ad-libs. From the secret four-year relationship it finally brought to light to the specific way it changed the "queer anthem" blueprint, we need to talk about why this song still hits different in 2026.
The Secret Everyone Guessed but Nobody Knew
Honestly, the biggest takeaway from "for the girls" wasn't even the music. It was the ending.
For years, rumors had been swirling about Hayley and Becca Tilley, a standout from Ben Higgins' season of The Bachelor. They were "best friends." They were always in the background of each other's stories. But they never said it.
Then came the video.
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Hayley plays the lead, handing out roses to a chaotic, beautiful cast of queer women. The drama is high—tears, screaming, the whole nine yards. But when that final limo pulls up, Becca Tilley steps out. The look on Hayley's face? That wasn't acting.
They had been together for four years. Four. They met at Hayley’s Expectations album release party in 2018. Becca was wearing a shirt that said "No Time for Romance." Life is funny like that. By the time the video premiered, they were ready to stop hiding. They even kissed at the release party in front of everyone, officially ending the "are they or aren't they" era.
Why the Production is Smarter Than It Sounds
On the surface, it’s a "summer bop." It's short—only 2:38—and it’s got that bass-boosted, electro-tinged energy that makes you want to drive with the windows down.
But if you look at the credits, there’s some heavy hitters involved. You’ve got German (who worked with Justin Bieber and Katy Perry) and Michelle Buzz (Kylie Minogue). They weren't just making a niche indie track. They were making a mainstream pop record that happened to use female pronouns.
- The Vibe: It's guitar-driven but feels "expensive."
- The Lyrics: Explicitly daring. No "he/she" ambiguity here.
- The Energy: High-octane ad-libs and a chorus that sticks in your brain for three days straight.
It serves as the third single from her sophomore album, Panorama. While the rest of that album deals with some pretty heavy stuff—trauma, self-failure, and the grit of keeping a relationship alive—this track is the "inhale" of the record. It’s pure celebration.
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The "Lesbian Jesus" Effect on Reality TV
Hayley’s father, comedian Jamie Alcroft, actually played the limo driver in the video. That’s a fun piece of trivia, but the casting of the "contestants" was the real statement.
She hired an entirely queer cast.
In a world where The Bachelor franchise has struggled for decades to include anything beyond the standard straight narrative (shoutout to the brief Demi Burnett/Kristian Haggerty moment in Bachelor in Paradise), Hayley just built her own. She didn't wait for a network to give her permission.
"I wanted to give representation to all of us searching for love while not taking ourselves too seriously," she said in a press release at the time.
That’s the core of the for the girls appeal. It’s not a "struggle" story. It’s not a coming-out tragedy. It’s just... girls being girls. It's messy, it's funny, and it's loud.
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What Most People Get Wrong About the Song
People often compare it to her breakout hit "Girls Like Girls," but they’re fundamentally different. "Girls Like Girls" was about the discovery—the pining, the "does she like me?", the 2006-era angst. (Which, by the way, she turned into a whole novel in 2023 and now a movie is in the works).
for the girls is the sequel we needed. It’s what happens after you’ve found yourself. It’s confident.
It’s also not "just for the girls." Even though the title is specific, the production is designed to be a universal anthem of empowerment. It’s about being "sexy and empowered" regardless of who you are, though it clearly prioritizes the sapphic lens.
Actionable Takeaways for Your Playlist
If you’re just getting into Hayley’s discography because of this track, don't stop there. The "Kiyoko cinematic universe" is deep.
- Watch the video again: Look for the cameos. It’s a "who's who" of queer creators from 2022.
- Listen to "Panorama" (the album): If "for the girls" is the party, the rest of the album is the deep conversation you have at 2:00 AM.
- Read the book: Her 2023 novel Girls Like Girls provides the emotional backstory to the themes she’s been singing about for a decade.
- Check the movie news: In late 2025/early 2026, the Girls Like Girls film (backed by Focus Features) became a reality. It’s the full-circle moment for the world she started building with a low-budget music video years ago.
Hayley Kiyoko proved that you can be unapologetically yourself and still dominate the pop charts. She didn't "water down" the queer experience to make it more palatable for the masses; she just invited everyone to the party. And honestly? It was the best party of the year.
To get the full experience, go back and watch the music videos in order: "Girls Like Girls," "Curious," and then "for the girls." You can literally see the progression of queer confidence in real-time. It's a masterclass in staying true to your vision while the rest of the industry tries to catch up.