You know that feeling of pacing around your apartment because someone is coming over for the first time? You’re checking the mirror every thirty seconds. You’ve probably reorganized your bookshelf twice. Maybe you even bought fancy candles you’ll never light again.
That’s exactly what First Time Together by Phyllis Hyman is about.
Honestly, it’s one of the most human songs ever recorded in the R&B canon. It isn't some untouchable, high-concept diva anthem. It is a song about the "p’s and q’s." It’s about the sweat, the nerves, and the frantic cooking that happens before a first date at home. While most people point to her massive hits like "You Know How to Love Me," real fans know that this track from her 1986 album Living All Alone is where the real Phyllis lives.
The Vibe of First Time Together
Phyllis Hyman didn't just sing songs; she lived in them. By the time 1986 rolled around, she had finally landed at Philadelphia International Records (PIR) after years of dealing with Arista’s attempts to turn her into a pop star. Working with legends like Kenneth Gamble, Leon Huff, and Thom Bell gave her the space to be vulnerable.
First Time Together is a masterclass in "Quiet Storm" storytelling.
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The song opens with a sort of shimmering anticipation. You can practically hear the doorbell not ringing yet. Phyllis sings about cooking a favorite dinner and worrying that she’s on "pins and needles." It’s funny because, physically, Phyllis Hyman was this towering, 6-foot-tall goddess of a woman who looked like she’d never been nervous a day in her life. But when she sings about it being 7:30 and the person isn't due until later, you feel that universal anxiety.
Why This Track Still Matters in 2026
We live in an era of ghosting and low-effort dating. Listening to a song about making a "special effort" feels like a relic from a more intentional time. But the emotion? That hasn't changed.
- The Vocal Texture: Phyllis was a mezzo-soprano with a range that could go from a smoky, low growl to a crystalline high note. In this track, she stays in a conversational middle register that feels like she's whispering to a friend.
- The Production: Thom Bell and Kenneth Gamble (who co-wrote the track with Cynthia Biggs) knew how to layer strings without drowning out the singer. It’s sophisticated but remains intimate.
- The Vulnerability: Most 80s R&B was about being "cool." Phyllis was okay with admitting she was terrified of making a bad impression.
People often overlook this song because "Old Friend" and the title track "Living All Alone" were the big singles from that era. Those songs are incredible, sure. They’re "heartbreak" songs. But First Time Together is a "hope" song. It’s the sound of someone who has been hurt before—which Phyllis definitely had been—trying to open their heart one more time.
Breaking Down the Lyrics
If you look at the verses, the level of detail is kinda wild. She mentions waiting for the doorbell. Looking out the window. It’s a very domestic scene.
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"Here I am cooking... all the little things you said you like."
There’s something so tender about that line. It shows a woman who has been paying attention. She’s not just throwing a dinner party; she’s building a bridge to someone.
A lot of people think Phyllis was just a "sad" singer because of how her life ended in 1995. But this song proves she had this immense capacity for joy and expectation. It’s a snapshot of a woman in love with the possibility of love.
The Philadelphia Connection
You can’t talk about First Time Together without talking about the Sound of Philadelphia. After her stint with Arista Records, where she felt stifled (famously clashing with Clive Davis over her musical direction), moving to PIR felt like a homecoming.
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Philly soul was always more sophisticated than the funk coming out of Ohio or the pop-leaning R&B of Motown. It used orchestral arrangements and complex jazz harmonies. For a singer like Hyman, who had a background in jazz and had even been nominated for a Tony for her work in Sophisticated Ladies on Broadway, this was her natural habitat.
The songwriting team of Gamble, Huff, and Bell provided the perfect architecture for her voice. They didn't make her "shout" over the track. They let the rhythm section carry the heartbeat while she provided the soul.
How to Truly Appreciate This Track
If you’re just discovering Phyllis, don't just put this on a random shuffle. You’ve gotta set the mood.
- Listen to the full album: Living All Alone is a journey. It deals with loneliness, friendship, and the desire for connection.
- Pay attention to the bridge: The way the music swells when she sings about wanting everything to be "all right" is pure magic.
- Check out the live versions: There are some incredible clips on YouTube of Phyllis performing "First Time Together" live in the early 90s. Her stage presence was unmatched. She would often joke with the audience between these heavy, emotional songs, showing a witty, dry sense of humor that most people didn't see on the records.
Actionable Insights for R&B Fans
If you love this song, you’re likely into a specific "vibe" of sophisticated soul. You should explore more of the "Sophisti-pop" and "Quiet Storm" eras.
- Expand your playlist: Look for artists like Angela Bofill, Anita Baker, or even early Brenda Russell. They all shared that "Phyllis-adjacent" DNA of jazz-influenced R&B.
- Support the legacy: Since Phyllis passed away, her estate and labels have released several posthumous collections. Forever With You (1998) contains some of her final PIR recordings that carry a similar energy to her 80s work.
- Listen for the "Philly Sound" hallmarks: Try to identify the signature Thom Bell electric sitar or the MFSB-style string arrangements in other tracks from that era. It makes you appreciate the technical craft behind the emotion.
Phyllis Hyman’s First Time Together isn't just a song about a date. It’s a reminder that no matter how big of a "star" someone is, we all get those same butterflies. It’s a piece of R&B history that feels as fresh today as it did in 1986.
To deepen your appreciation for this era, start by listening to the remastered version of the Living All Alone album on a high-quality audio system or through studio-grade headphones. Notice the placement of the percussion and the subtle reverb on her voice during the chorus. Afterward, compare this track to her earlier Arista work, like "You Know How to Love Me," to see how her vocal approach shifted from disco-diva energy to the nuanced, mature storytelling found in her Philadelphia International years.