Sex is weirdly personal, yet we talk about it like it’s a one-size-fits-all IKEA manual. It isn't. When people search for a favourite sex position for women, they’re usually looking for a magic bullet—that one specific angle that guarantees an orgasm or deep connection. But if you talk to sex therapists like Ian Kerner or researchers at the Kinsey Institute, you’ll find that "the best" is a moving target. It depends on anatomy, mood, and how much coffee you’ve had.
Honestly, most of us have been lied to by movies. In films, everyone reaches a shattering climax through standard missionary without so much as a hand adjustment. Real life? It’s a bit more "clunky."
Why Missionary Isn't Always the Favourite
Let’s be real. Standard missionary can be boring. It’s the vanilla latte of the bedroom—reliable, but sometimes you want an oat milk latte with three shots of espresso and some cinnamon. For many, the favourite sex position for women needs to account for the "pleasure gap." Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy consistently shows that roughly 75% of women don't reach orgasm from penetration alone.
This is where the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) comes in. It’s basically missionary 2.0. Instead of the "in and out" thrusting, the partner on top moves higher up, creating a grinding motion that keeps the base of the penis or the pubic bone in constant contact with the clitoris. It’s subtle. It’s slow. It’s often way more effective because it prioritizes external stimulation while staying connected.
The Doggy Style Debate
Some people swear by it. Others find it makes them feel like a prop. If we’re looking at what makes a favourite sex position for women, Doggy Style is polarizing because of the depth. It allows for deep penetration, which can hit the A-spot (located deeper on the anterior wall of the vagina). However, for many women, it lacks that crucial clitoral contact.
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The fix? It’s all about the "Lazy Dog." Instead of being on all fours, the woman lies flat on her stomach. This narrows the vaginal canal, increases friction, and feels way more intimate than the standard version. You can also reach back, or have a partner reach around. Simple.
Let’s Talk About Control: Cowgirl and Its Variations
If you ask a room of women about their go-to, "Woman on Top" usually wins. Why? Control. You’re the pilot. You decide the depth, the speed, and—most importantly—the angle.
Most people just bounce. Don’t just bounce.
Leaning forward allows for more intimacy and chest-to-chest contact. Leaning back changes the internal sensation entirely. There’s a variation called the "Reverse Cowgirl" which gets a lot of hype in pop culture, but honestly, it can be a bit tricky for the partner on the bottom (safety first, nobody wants a trip to the ER for a "bend"). A better version is the "Sideways Cowgirl." You sit across them, legs to the side. It feels less like a workout and more like a cuddle session that happens to involve sex.
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The Science of the "G-Spot" and "A-Spot"
We need to address the anatomy because "favourite" is often synonymous with "what feels most intense." Dr. Beverly Whipple, who helped popularize the term G-spot, has spent decades explaining that this isn't a magical button. It’s an area.
To hit it, you need "come hither" motions. Positions like the "Legs on Shoulders" missionary variation create the pelvic tilt necessary to rub against that anterior wall. It’s intense. It’s also a bit of a workout for your hamstrings. If you aren't a gymnast, propping your hips up on a firm pillow (often marketed as a "sex pillow," but a decorative couch cushion works too) changes the pelvic angle just enough to make a world of difference.
Then there’s the A-spot. It’s deeper. If a woman's favourite sex position involves deep sensation, "The Spooning" position is underrated. It’s low-effort. It’s warm. Because you’re both on your sides, the penetration isn't as deep as doggy style, but it’s more sustainable. You can stay there for a long time without getting a leg cramp.
Breaking the "Orgasm-Only" Mindset
Sometimes the favourite sex position for women isn't about the finish line. It’s about the view. Or the intimacy. Or just feeling lazy on a Sunday morning.
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We put so much pressure on sex to be this high-octane performance. Sometimes the best position is just whatever allows you to kiss your partner. The "Face-to-Face" seated position (often called the Lotus) is incredible for emotional connection, even if it’s not the most "efficient" for reaching a climax. You’re wrapped around each other. You can breathe together. It’s slow. It’s intentional.
Real Talk About Logistics
Let's be pragmatic.
- Lubrication: Even the best position fails if there’s too much friction.
- Bladders: Empty them. Seriously.
- Communication: If something hurts, stop. If something feels good, say "that."
I’ve talked to many people who feel "broken" because they don't enjoy the positions they see in porn. Porn is filmed for the camera, not for the participants. A "favourite" position in a movie is usually whatever shows the most skin, not what provides the most clitoral stimulation.
Actionable Steps to Finding Your Favourite
Instead of trying to master twenty different positions tonight, pick one and tweak it. Evolution, not revolution.
- The Pillow Trick: Grab a pillow right now. Put it under your hips next time you’re in missionary. Observe the difference in how the friction feels.
- The 1-Inch Rule: If a position feels "almost" there, move your body just one inch in any direction. Up, down, left, right. Small adjustments change where the internal pressure lands.
- Incorporate Touch: Don't wait for your partner to do everything. If you're in a position that feels good but lacks clitoral stimulation, use your hand or a toy. There is zero shame in "assisting" a position to make it your favourite.
- Change the Surface: The bed is soft. The floor is hard. A chair offers a different height. Sometimes the "position" isn't the problem; it's the lack of leverage.
Finding a favourite sex position for women is a process of elimination. You’ll try things that feel awkward. You’ll laugh when you lose your balance. That’s actually the point. The most "expert" advice anyone can give is to stop treating sex like a choreographed dance and start treating it like a playground. Focus on the friction, the angle, and the communication, and the "favourite" will usually reveal itself through trial and error.