Honestly, if you grew up watching South Park, you knew the South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters were going to show up eventually. It wasn't a matter of if, but when. Obsidian Entertainment didn't just throw them in as a background Easter egg either. They made finding these bloodthirsty, adorable little Satanists one of the most memorable—and slightly traumatizing—side quests in the entire game.
Most people remember the Woodland Critters from the Season 8 episode "Woodland Critter Christmas." It starts out like a generic, sugary-sweet holiday special and ends with... well, let's just say it involves a sacrifice and a lot of blood. In the game, they serve a specific purpose: they are the ultimate "friend" collectable for the "Friends in Strange Places" achievement. But they aren't just sitting in the middle of town waiting for a hug. You have to work for it. You have to get lost.
Where the Hell Are the Woodland Critters?
To find the South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters, you have to head into the Lost Forest. This is the wooded area located at the edge of the map, and it’s notorious for being a maze. If you take the wrong turn, you just end up back at the start, or worse, attacked by a pack of wolves that can actually do some decent damage if you’re underleveled.
The trick is specific. It’s almost like a cheat code from the old NES days. Once you enter the forest, you need to follow a very particular path. Go Right. Then go Up. Then go Right again. Then Down. Finally, go Right one more time. If you do it correctly, the screen won't just loop back to the same snowy trees. Instead, you'll stumble into a clearing that feels immediately "off." The music shifts. The vibe gets weird. There they are. Beary the Bear, Rabbity the Rabbit, and the rest of the gang are just hanging out, waiting for someone to help them usher in the end of days. Or, you know, just be their friend on Facebook.
The Weird Logic of Befriending Satanic Animals
You can't just talk to them and get the friend request. This is South Park. Nothing is that simple. To officially add the South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters to your friend list, you actually have to have a specific perk or have reached a certain point in the game where you can interact with them properly. Specifically, you need to have the "Friend of the Forest" vibe, but more practically, you just need to talk to them while you have the quest active or have met the right criteria.
What’s hilarious is the dialogue. Stan's voiceover narrates the encounter much like he did in the original TV episode. It’s that faux-innocent, storybook cadence that makes everything they say sound ten times more disturbing. They’ll ask you to "hail Satan" or something equally dark, and your character, the New Kid, just kind of stares at them with that blank, empty expression.
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Why This Quest Matters for 100% Completion
If you're a completionist, you can't skip this. You literally can't get the "More Than an Ally" or "Outsized Influencer" achievements without these guys. There are 12 critters in total that count as a single "friend" entry in your menu.
- Beary the Bear (The leader, obviously)
- Rabbity the Rabbit
- Skunky the Skunk
- Beaverly the Beaver
- Buckey the Deer
And the list goes on. The game treats them as a collective unit. Once you find that clearing, you’ve unlocked one of the rarest friend slots in the game. It’s a huge boost to your "Friends" count, which is the primary way you unlock Perks in Stick of Truth. The more friends you have, the more powerful your character becomes. It’s a weirdly wholesome mechanic for a game that features a giant, mutated Mr. Hankey.
The Lost Forest Mechanics are Brutal
Seriously, the Lost Forest is a pain. If you don't follow the Right-Up-Right-Down-Right sequence, you can spend twenty minutes wandering in circles. I've seen people get genuinely frustrated because the game doesn't give you a compass or a map for this specific sub-area. It’s a classic RPG "Lost Woods" trope, a direct nod to The Legend of Zelda, but with more animal sacrifices.
One thing people often miss: you can actually find a few other things in the forest if you take different turns. There’s a path to the Canadian border, and there are spots where you can fight more wolves for XP. But if you’re specifically hunting the South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters, stick to the path. Don't get distracted by a stray chest or a weird-looking tree.
The Cultural Impact of the Critters in South Park Lore
Why did Trey Parker and Matt Stone decide to put these things in the game? Because they represent the peak of South Park's "subversion" era. Taking something cute and making it horrific is their bread and butter. In The Stick of Truth, the critters represent the dark underbelly of the fantasy world the kids have created. While Stan and Kyle are playing humans and elves, these critters are playing something much, much darker.
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When you find them, it feels like you've broken the game’s reality. The kids' LARP (Live Action Role Play) is supposed to be innocent-ish, but the critters are "real" within the game's logic. They aren't kids in costumes. They are actually sentient, demonic animals. It’s that layer of absurdity that makes The Stick of Truth better than your average licensed game. It respects the source material enough to include the deepest, darkest cuts from the show’s history.
Survival Tips for the Lost Forest
If you’re heading in there, make sure you’re prepared. Even though the goal is to find the South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters, the journey there involves combat.
- Bring a Buddy: Jimmy is great for buffs, but Butters is the goat for healing. If the wolves get a "Bleeding" stack on you, you’ll want Butters to clear that up quickly.
- Watch Your Level: Don't try to rush the forest at Level 3. You’ll get shredded. Wait until you've at least finished the first major story arc with the Bard.
- The Path is Absolute: I’ll say it again. Right, Up, Right, Down, Right. If you mess up one turn, reset by leaving the forest entirely and coming back in.
The wolves in the forest are actually a decent way to farm for certain items, but they’re mostly just a nuisance. They have high agility and tend to go first in the turn order. If you have any equipment that adds "Gross Out" or "Fire" damage, use it. Animals in this game hate status effects.
What Happens After You Find Them?
Once you've "friended" them, they stay in your list. You don't have to keep visiting them. You can leave the clearing—again, by wandering or trying to find your way back—and continue with the main quest. Most players just head straight to the farm or back to the main street of South Park.
The real reward isn't just the friend count. It's the satisfaction of seeing that bizarre icon in your social feed. In a game filled with Al Gore, ManBearPig, and Mr. Slave, the Woodland Critters still manage to be the most unsettling thing you can find.
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Common Mistakes When Hunting Critters
A lot of players think they need to find the critters during the Christmas-themed parts of the game. They don't. You can find them almost anytime the forest is accessible. Another mistake is thinking you need a special item to talk to them. You don't. You just need to reach the clearing.
Some people also confuse the "Lost Forest" with the path to Canada. While they are connected, the path to the critters is its own internal logic puzzle. If you see the "Welcome to Canada" sign, you’ve gone the wrong way. Turn back, re-enter the forest, and try the sequence again.
Getting the Achievement
For those hunting the "Outsized Influencer" achievement (having 50 friends), the critters are mandatory. You cannot hit the cap without them. Given that some friends are "missable" based on choices you make in the story—like whether you side with the Humans or the Elves—the critters are a reliable constant. They don't care about your politics. They only care about the Dark Lord.
The game is surprisingly tight with its friend count. If you miss the critters, you might find yourself at 49 friends at the end of the game, screaming at your monitor because you can't find that last one. Don't be that person. Get the critters early and get it over with.
Final Insights on the Woods
The South Park Stick of Truth Christmas Critters are a testament to why The Stick of Truth is still the gold standard for South Park games. It doesn't hold your hand. It expects you to know the lore or be willing to explore the weirdest corners of the map.
If you want to wrap up your collection, head to the forest now. Don't wait until the end-game when the map gets chaotic with the final alien/zombie/government invasion.
Actionable Next Steps:
- Check your current friend list. If you're missing the "Woodland Critters" entry, you haven't found them yet.
- Head to the Lost Forest located to the far right of the map, near the farm.
- Follow the sequence: Right, Up, Right, Down, Right.
- Accept the friend request from the Critters immediately.
- Exit the forest and save your game; the forest is one of the few places where a glitch can occasionally cause you to lose progress if the game crashes during a transition.