You're standing in the middle of Riften, the rain is pouring down, and you’ve finally gathered enough gold to buy a house in Whiterun. You want a spouse to share it with. Maybe it's Aela the Huntress. Maybe it's that guy in the mine who seemed nice. But nobody is biting. You talk to them, and they just give you the same generic dialogue options. Honestly, it’s frustrating. The reason is usually simple: you aren't wearing the Skyrim Amulet of Mara. Without that specific piece of jewelry around your neck, the marriage mechanic in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim basically doesn't exist. It's the "on" switch for romance in a world otherwise preoccupied with dragons and civil war.
It’s weirdly easy to miss. Most players assume that if they help an NPC, the option to marry will just pop up naturally. That’s not how Bethesda built this. You have to signal your availability. Think of it like a 2011 version of a dating app profile, but instead of swiping, you’re wearing a chunky brass pendant with a blue stone.
Where to Actually Get the Amulet
Look, you can find these things in random loot. You might stumble across one in a chest at the end of a dusty Nordic ruin or find one on a dead bandit. But if you want it now, don't rely on luck. Head to Riften. It’s the city of thieves, sure, but it’s also the religious hub for Mara, the Goddess of Love.
The most reliable way is to find Maramal. He’s a Redguard priest who usually hangs out at the Bee and Barb tavern or inside the Temple of Mara itself. If it’s your first time in the tavern, he’ll probably be giving a loud, slightly annoying speech about the end of the world and the importance of love. Talk to him. Ask him about marriage in Skyrim. He’ll give you the rundown on how it works, and then—crucially—he will offer to sell you the Skyrim Amulet of Mara for 200 gold. That’s a steal. Seriously, you probably spent more than that on iron daggers you’ll never use.
The Book of Love Questline
If you're broke or just want to feel like you earned it, talk to Dinya Balu in the Temple. She’ll set you on a quest called "The Book of Love." It’s a long-distance errand run, basically. You’ll go from Ivarstead to Markarth and eventually to a ghostly reunion near Gjukar's Monument. It’s one of the more touching stories in the game, and it gives you a permanent magic resistance buff called Agent of Mara. Plus, you get the amulet for free at the end. If you care about your character's build, the 15% magic resistance is actually way more valuable than the marriage prospect.
Why Isn't Anyone Proposing?
So you have the amulet. You’ve put it on. You’re walking around looking for love. You go up to Ysolda in Whiterun and... nothing. This is the part that trips people up. Just wearing the Skyrim Amulet of Mara isn't enough. You have to prove you’re a decent person first. Most marriageable NPCs require you to complete a specific favor for them. For Ysolda, it’s bringing her a mammoth tusk. For Mjoll the Lioness, it’s finding her lost sword, Grimsever.
There are over 60 NPCs you can marry in the base game and DLCs. Some are easy. Some are a massive pain. For example, if you want to marry Farkas or Vilkas from the Companions, you have to finish the entire faction questline. You can't just show up with a necklace and expect a member of the inner circle to ditch their werewolf brothers for you.
💡 You might also like: How to Make the Most of the Festival of Colours Pokemon GO Event Without Burning Out
- Gender doesn't matter. Skyrim was pretty ahead of its time here; any player character can marry any eligible NPC regardless of sex.
- The "Favor" flag. Check your quest log. If you’ve already done a favor for someone before getting the amulet, they should notice the necklace immediately.
- The dialogue line. You're looking for the option: "Is that an Amulet of Mara? I'm surprised someone like you isn't spoken for."
If that line isn't showing up, and you're wearing the amulet, you either haven't done their favor or they simply aren't a marriage candidate. Serana, the fan-favorite vampire from the Dawnguard DLC? You can't marry her without mods. It's a bummer, but that’s the lore. She’s been through a lot.
The Ceremony and the Benefits
Once you get that "Yes," you have to go back to Maramal. You tell him you want to get married, and he tells you to come back the next day. Don't leave Riften. Seriously. Time moves fast, and if you're halfway across the map fighting a frost troll, you’ll miss your own wedding. If you miss it, your spouse-to-be will be furious. You can fix it, but it’s awkward.
The ceremony itself is short. A few lines of dialogue, some generic guests (usually people you’ve helped in the past), and you get a Bond of Matrimony ring. It’s not a great ring, stats-wise, but it’s a nice memento.
Now, why do this? Is it just for the roleplay? Sorta. But there are mechanical perks to having a spouse in your house. Once a day, you can ask them for a "Homecooked Meal." It boosts your health, magicka, and stamina regeneration. It’s actually one of the best food items in the game. Even better? Your spouse opens a shop. You don't see the shop, and they never leave the house, but every day they’ll have 100 gold for you as "your share of the profits." It’s passive income. If you forget to check in for a month, you’ll come home to a couple thousand gold sitting in their pockets.
You also get the "Lover’s Comfort" buff if you sleep in the same house as them. This makes all your skills improve 15% faster for eight hours. If you’re trying to grind Smithing or Enchanting, this is indispensable. It stacks with some other buffs, but not the Lover Stone.
Technical Glitches to Watch Out For
Skyrim is... Skyrim. It's buggy. Sometimes the Skyrim Amulet of Mara just stops working. This usually happens if you’re wearing other enchanted jewelry that messes with the script. If nobody is noticing your necklace, try taking it off and putting it back on. Or, try talking to Maramal again. Occasionally, the game "forgets" he gave you the explanation of how marriage works, and the dialogue won't trigger until you hear his speech one more time.
If you’re playing with mods, especially those that alter NPC AI or social interactions, things can get messy. The "Amulet of Mara" dialogue is tied to a specific quest script called RelationshipMarriage. If a mod touches that, you might find yourself single forever. Always check your load order if the priests in Riften start acting weird.
Also, once you’re married, that’s it. There is no divorce in Skyrim. The only way to "remarry" in the vanilla game is if your spouse... meets an untimely end. And even then, the game often glitches and won't let you marry a second time without using console commands on PC. Choose wisely. Marrying Cosnach because you beat him in a brawl might seem funny at level 5, but you might regret it when you're the Thane of every hold and living in a mansion.
Breaking Down the Best Marriage Candidates
People argue about this on Reddit constantly. Honestly, it depends on what you need. If you want a follower who can actually hold their own in a fight, Mjoll the Lioness is a tank. She’s essential, meaning she can’t be killed by enemies. That’s a huge plus. On the other hand, if you just want someone who stays at home and looks after the kids (if you have the Hearthfire DLC), someone like Ysolda or Sylgja is a classic choice.
There’s also the "Store" factor. Different spouses have different merchant inventories. If you marry a blacksmith like Balimund, he continues to function as a blacksmith. This is incredibly convenient. You can sell your looted armor to your husband without leaving your front door. It turns your home into a one-stop-shop for inventory management.
Actionable Steps for your Next Playthrough
- Beeline to Riften early. Don't wait until level 30. You can grab a carriage from outside Whiterun for 20 gold.
- Talk to Maramal immediately. Even if you don't have the 200 gold yet, trigger his dialogue so the game knows you're "looking."
- Complete the Book of Love. The magic resistance is too good to pass up, and you save the gold on the amulet anyway.
- Pick a spouse with a utility. Look for someone who is also a trainer or a merchant. It makes the "Home" experience much more efficient.
- Check your gear. Ensure the Skyrim Amulet of Mara is actually equipped in your apparel menu before you start talking to your favorite NPC. It doesn't count if it's just sitting in your pocket.
Marriage in the game isn't just about the fluff. It's a strategic move. The gold, the food, and the XP buff make the dragon-slaying business a whole lot easier. Just remember to show up to the wedding on time. Maramal doesn't like to be kept waiting, and neither does a Nord warrior with a battleaxe.