Nostalgia is a hell of a drug. Square Enix knows this better than anyone, usually wielding those fuzzy memories of 8-bit mages and crystal themes to sell millions of copies of remakes. But back in 2013, they tried something different. They tried to bottle that nostalgia, strip out the actual "game" part, and charge you for the air inside.
Final Fantasy All the Bravest was the result.
It was a mess. Even calling it a "game" feels like a stretch to some people. Honestly, one of the producers, Ichiro Hazama, eventually admitted it was more of an "app" than a game. If you were there when it launched, you remember the chaos. Fans weren't just disappointed; they were legitimately insulted. Imagine taking your favorite childhood memories and turning them into a digital vending machine that asks for a dollar every time you want to see a familiar face.
The "Battle" System (Or Lack Thereof)
The pitch sounded kinda cool on paper. You could have a party of up to 40 characters on screen at once. 40! That's a huge step up from the usual four or five. You'd see a screen packed with Warriors, Black Mages, and Dragoons, all rendered in that classic NES/SNES pixel art style. It looked like the ultimate crossover event.
Then you actually played it.
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Basically, you just rubbed your finger all over the screen. That was the combat. You didn't pick spells. You didn't choose which enemy to hit. You didn't even heal. Everyone, even the White Mages, just charged forward to do a basic attack. It was less like a tactical RPG and more like cleaning a dirty window with your thumb. Once a character attacked, their ATB bar would refill. You'd wait. Then you'd swipe again.
Strategy? Non-existent. It was pure chaos, a "fireworks display" of sprites and sound effects.
Why Everyone Got So Angry
It wasn't just the shallow gameplay that broke the internet's collective heart. It was the monetization. Square Enix went full "predatory mobile game" before that was even a standard industry term.
The game cost money upfront—usually around $4—but that only got you the basic jobs like the Warrior or Thief. If you wanted a "Premium" character like Cloud Strife, Tifa, or Squall, you had to pay $0.99. But here’s the kicker: it was a blind bag. You couldn't just buy Cloud. You paid a dollar and got a random character from a pool of 35. You might get a pig from Final Fantasy IV. Seriously.
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And then there were the hourglasses.
In Final Fantasy All the Bravest, your characters died in one hit. Always. Eventually, your whole party of 40 would be wiped out. To keep playing, you had two choices:
- Wait three minutes for each individual character to revive. If your whole party died, that was a two-hour wait.
- Buy a Golden Hourglass to revive them instantly.
It felt like the game was actively trying to prevent you from playing it unless you opened your wallet every ten minutes. Critics went nuclear. GamesRadar+ eventually ranked it as the 44th worst game ever made. Hardcore Gamer suggested the original title should have been "Hey Morons Give Us Your Money."
Is There Anything Good About It?
Look, if we're being fair, the presentation was actually pretty charming. The sprite work was top-notch, and the music was a greatest-hits collection of Uematsu’s best work. The flavor text in the catalogs was also surprisingly funny. It was self-aware, making meta-jokes about the series' tropes and weird monster designs.
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It had that "just one more go" quality that early mobile games thrived on. It was perfect for a three-minute bus ride, provided your party hadn't just been wiped out by a Behemoth.
But those few bright spots couldn't save it from the overwhelming "anti-consumer" label. It became the poster child for how NOT to do a mobile spin-off. It’s the reason why, even in 2026, fans get nervous whenever Square Enix announces a new "casual" mobile project. The trauma from the Golden Hourglasses still lingers.
The Legacy of a "Travesty"
Square Enix eventually pulled the plug on the Android version in late 2022. It’s mostly gone now, a ghost of the App Store’s wild west era. But its influence is still felt. It served as a massive wake-up call. The backlash was so loud that it arguably pushed the company to be a bit more careful with how they handled the brand on mobile—at least for a little while.
If you’re looking to experience that era of Final Fantasy history today, your best bet is looking at the Pixel Remaster series. They actually have, you know, gameplay.
What to do if you're feeling nostalgic for classic Final Fantasy:
- Skip the old clones: Don't go looking for APKs of All the Bravest; they often don't work on modern OS versions anyway.
- Check out the Pixel Remasters: These are the definitive ways to play FF1 through FF6.
- Play Final Fantasy Record Keeper (if available in your region): It took the "all-star crossover" idea and actually added deep, tactical combat to it.
- Read the flavor text: You can find archives of the All the Bravest bestiary online. It’s genuinely the best part of the game and worth a read for the laughs.
Final Fantasy All the Bravest stands as a fascinating, frustrating footnote. It’s a reminder that even the most beloved franchises aren't immune to a bad idea, especially when they try to trade respect for a quick buck.