Sex is messy. It’s supposed to be. But for some reason, the specific phenomenon of "squirting" or female ejaculation has become this weird, mythologized holy grail of the bedroom. People see it in movies—you know the ones—and think it’s a standard, every-session requirement. It isn't. Honestly, there’s so much misinformation out there that most people are basically chasing a ghost.
If you want to know how do you make a woman ejaculate, you first have to understand the plumbing. We aren't talking about a fire hose here. We're talking about a physiological response involving the Skene’s glands, which sit right near the urethra. For a long time, doctors—mostly men—dismissed this as just "pee." That’s a massive oversimplification. While the fluid can contain trace amounts of urea, studies (like those published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine) have shown it also contains prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic-specific acid phosphatase. Basically, it’s chemically distinct from what you’d find in a bladder during a midday bathroom break.
It’s complex. It’s rare for some, easy for others.
The Anatomy of the Skene’s Glands
The Skene’s glands are often called the "female prostate." They vary wildly in size from person to person. Some women have large, active glands; others have almost none. This is why some people can ejaculate easily and others never do, regardless of the "technique" used. You can’t force a gland to produce fluid if the tissue isn't developed that way.
Think of it like height. You can jump as much as you want, but you aren't getting taller.
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When a woman becomes highly aroused, these glands fill with fluid. To get that fluid out, you usually need specific stimulation of the anterior vaginal wall—the G-spot. This area is about an inch or two inside, on the "belly side" of the vagina. It feels a bit textured, like the roof of your mouth or a walnut. But here’s the kicker: stimulation alone isn't enough. There has to be a release of the pelvic floor muscles.
The "I Need to Pee" Barrier
This is the biggest hurdle. Almost every woman who has experienced ejaculation describes the exact same sensation right before it happens: an intense, almost overwhelming urge to urinate.
It’s scary. Most people are conditioned from toddlerhood to not pee the bed. So, right when they are on the verge of ejaculating, they "clamp down." They tighten their pelvic floor to prevent an "accident." This effectively stops the ejaculation in its tracks. To get past this, there has to be a massive amount of trust. You have to be okay with the possibility of a mess.
Put down a towel. No, seriously. Put down two.
If she’s worried about the sheets, she’s not going to let go. You need to create an environment where she feels safe to literally lose control of her bladder-adjacent muscles. Tell her, "It’s okay if you pee." Even if she actually does pee a little bit (which happens!), it doesn't matter. The goal is the relaxation of the sphincter and the pelvic floor. Without that relaxation, the fluid stays trapped.
Technique: The "Come Hither" Motion
If you're wondering how do you make a woman ejaculate with your hands, the motion is specific. It’s not about speed. It’s about pressure and rhythm.
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Using one or two fingers, palm up, reach inside and find that textured area on the upper wall. Use a "come hither" curling motion. You want to apply firm, consistent pressure. Most beginners go too fast. Slow down. Think of it like a heartbeat. Deep, rhythmic pulses. While you're doing this, use your other hand to apply pressure to the lower abdomen, just above the pubic bone. This "sandwich" technique compresses the Skene’s glands from both sides.
- Rhythm: Keep it steady. Changing the pace too often can reset her arousal level.
- Lubrication: Use more than you think you need. The G-spot is sensitive, and friction can turn from "good" to "painful" very quickly.
- The Clitoris: Don't ignore it. While the Skene’s glands are internal, the clitoris is the engine of the orgasm. Combined stimulation is usually the winning ticket.
The Role of the Mind
You can't mechanical-engineer an ejaculation. If she’s stressed about her job or thinking about the laundry, it’s a no-go. The brain is the largest sexual organ. To reach the level of arousal necessary for the Skene’s glands to fill and the pelvic floor to relax, she needs to be in a state of "flow."
This often requires a lot of foreplay. We’re talking 20, 30, 40 minutes. You want the entire pelvic region to be engorged with blood. The more blood flow there is, the more fluid the glands can produce. If you rush straight to the "technique," you’re likely to just cause irritation.
Why Some Women Don't Ejaculate
Let’s be real: not every woman can do this. And that is perfectly fine.
Recent ultrasound studies have shown that the G-spot isn't even a "spot"—it's an intersection of the clitoris, the urethra, and the vaginal wall. The "female prostate" tissue is distributed differently in everyone. For some, the glands are simply too small to produce a noticeable amount of fluid. For others, the fluid might "retrograde" into the bladder instead of exiting the urethra.
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If you make ejaculation the "goal," you’re killing the mood. It becomes a chore. A performance. Sex should be about pleasure, not achieving a specific fluid output. If it happens, cool. If it doesn't, also cool. The pressure to squirt actually makes it less likely to happen because pressure causes tension, and tension blocks the release.
Actionable Steps for the Bedroom
If you want to experiment with this, stop treating it like a science experiment and start treating it like a massage.
- Hydrate. It sounds silly, but you can’t express fluid if the body is dehydrated.
- Focus on the build-up. Use toys if necessary. High-vibration toys on the G-spot can often trigger the response more effectively than fingers because they provide a constant, intense frequency that doesn't tire out.
- Change positions. The "Coital Alignment Technique" or being on top can allow for better G-spot contact, but often, being on her back with pillows under her hips provides the best angle for manual stimulation.
- The "Push." Encourage her to "push out" with her pelvic muscles when the urge to urinate hits. It feels counterintuitive, but pushing out is what opens the pathway.
Essentially, it's about the transition from "holding it in" to "letting it go." Once that mental switch flips, the physical response usually follows. Just remember: it’s the journey, the pleasure, and the connection that actually matter. The rest is just biology doing its thing.