Sex education is often a mess. We spend years learning about mitochondria and the Pythagorean theorem, yet most people hit adulthood without a clear idea of what female come actually is, where it originates, or why it happens to some people and not others. There is a weird, lingering shame around it. Or worse, a bizarre fetishization fueled by amateur adult films that makes the whole thing feel like a performance rather than a biological reality.
It’s messy. Literally.
For a long time, the medical community basically shrugged its shoulders at the concept of female ejaculation. Some doctors called it "urinary incontinence" and moved on. That’s a pretty dismissive way to describe a physiological response that many women find incredibly pleasurable. But thanks to researchers like Dr. Beverly Whipple—who helped bring the G-spot into the mainstream conversation—and more recent imaging studies, we’re finally getting a clearer picture. It isn't just one thing. When we talk about female come, we’re usually talking about two distinct phenomena: female ejaculation and squirting. They aren't the same.
The Chemistry of Female Ejaculation
Let's get into the weeds. If you’ve ever noticed a thick, milky-white fluid during or just before orgasm, you’ve likely experienced female ejaculation. This isn’t urine. It doesn't look like urine, and it certainly doesn't smell like it.
So, what is it?
The secret lies in the Skene’s glands. These are often called the "female prostate" because, evolutionarily speaking, they are homologous to the male prostate. They sit near the lower end of the urethra. When a woman is aroused, these glands can fill with fluid. During orgasm, the pelvic floor muscles contract, and this fluid is expelled.
Analysis of this specific fluid has turned up some fascinating results. Studies have found Prostate-Specific Antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase in it. Those are the exact same enzymes found in male semen. It’s a concentrated, small amount of liquid—usually just a teaspoon or less. It’s thick. It’s creamy. It is a biological signature of intense arousal.
But then there is the "other" kind.
Squirting is a Different Beast
If you’ve seen videos online, you’ve seen squirting. This is the more "dramatic" version where a large volume of clear fluid is expelled with significant force. This is where the "is it pee?" debate usually starts. And honestly? The answer is complicated.
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In 2014, a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine used ultrasound scans on women who could squirt. The researchers scanned their bladders before and after sexual stimulation. The results were pretty definitive: the bladders were empty before stimulation, full just before squirting, and empty again afterward.
This suggests that squirting is mostly diluted urine. But—and this is a big "but"—it’s not just urine. The fluid often contains the same PSA enzymes found in the smaller-volume ejaculate. Basically, the Skene’s glands release their secretions into the bladder or the urethra, where they mix with urea and are then expelled.
Does that make it "gross"? Not really.
Biology is weird. Our bodies reuse "piping" for multiple functions all the time. The fact that the fluid originates in the bladder doesn't change the fact that the release is triggered by sexual pleasure, not a need to use the bathroom. It’s a reflexive, physiological "whoosh" that often follows G-spot stimulation.
The G-Spot Connection
You can't talk about female come without talking about the G-spot. Or, as some modern anatomists prefer, the clitourethrovaginal (CUV) complex.
The G-spot isn't a magic button. It’s not like a doorbell that you ring to get a prize. It’s actually an area on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina, about two inches in. When you stimulate this area, you’re actually pressing against the internal roots of the clitoris, the urethra, and those famous Skene’s glands.
- Pressure matters. Most women find that rhythmic, firm pressure works better than light stroking.
- The "Come Hither" motion. This is the classic technique—using fingers to beckon inward toward the belly button.
- The "Urge." Many women report that right before they ejaculate or squirt, they feel a sudden, intense need to urinate. This is the "point of no return." For years, women held back because they were afraid of an accident. In reality, relaxing into that feeling is what allows the release to happen.
Why Doesn't Everyone Do It?
This is a big source of anxiety. "Why don't I squirt?" or "Is something wrong with me because I do?"
Neither.
The size and sensitivity of Skene’s glands vary wildly from person to person. Some people have very active glands; others have glands that are almost microscopic. Some people have pelvic floor muscles that are naturally more prone to these types of contractions.
There’s also a psychological component. We are conditioned from a young age to "hold it in." If you feel a liquid release coming, your brain’s first instinct is often to clench and stop it. Breaking that habit takes a lot of comfort and trust with a partner—or just some solo exploration with a few towels down.
Breaking Down the Myths
People get weirdly defensive about this topic. You’ll find "experts" on the internet claiming squirting is 100% fake or 100% pure ejaculate. Both are wrong.
- Myth: It’s always an orgasm. Actually, some women can ejaculate or squirt without reaching a full climax. It can be a byproduct of arousal alone. Conversely, many women have Earth-shattering orgasms and never release a drop of fluid.
- Myth: You can learn to do it on command. You can certainly practice relaxation and G-spot stimulation, but it’s not a guaranteed skill like riding a bike. Biology has the final say.
- Myth: It’s "dirty." It’s a natural bodily fluid. If you’re hydrated, the fluid is mostly water and enzymes. It’s a sign of a body responding to pleasure. That’s it.
The Role of the Prostate-Specific Antigen (PSA)
The presence of PSA in female come is perhaps the most fascinating part of the "what is it" puzzle. PSA is a protein produced by the prostate gland in men to help liquefy semen, allowing sperm to swim more freely. Why do women have it?
It points to our shared embryonic origins. Before we are "male" or "female" in the womb, we start from the same blueprints. The Skene’s glands are the female version of the prostate. While they don’t serve a known reproductive purpose like the male prostate does, they remain functional. They produce these proteins simply because that is what that specific type of tissue is programmed to do.
It’s a beautiful bit of biological symmetry.
How to Explore This Safely and Comfortably
If you're curious about experiencing female come, the first step is removing the pressure. Performance anxiety is the fastest way to shut down your body's arousal response.
Hydration is key. This is practical advice. If squirting involves fluid from the bladder, being dehydrated makes the process much harder and the fluid much more concentrated (and potentially irritating). Drink plenty of water.
Focus on the front wall. Whether using fingers or a toy, focus on the area behind the pubic bone. Use plenty of lubrication. The tissue in the vagina is sensitive, and the kind of firm pressure required for G-spot stimulation can cause chafing if you aren't careful.
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Relax the pelvic floor. This is the hardest part. When that "I need to pee" sensation hits, try to breathe through it. Push "out" rather than pulling "in."
Use protection (for your mattress). Seriously. A waterproof blanket or a few thick towels will save you a lot of laundry-related stress. It’s hard to be "in the moment" if you’re worried about ruining a $2,000 memory foam mattress.
Expert Perspectives
Dr. Deborah Coady, a pelvic pain specialist, often notes that the health of the pelvic floor plays a massive role in sexual response. If your muscles are too tight (hypertonic), you might find ejaculation painful or impossible. If they are too weak, you might have less control over the release.
It’s a balance.
Moreover, the "discovery" of these fluids shouldn't be seen as a new requirement for a good sex life. For decades, the "clitoral orgasm" was the gold standard. Then the "vaginal orgasm" took over. Now, "squirting" is the trendy goal. This "goal-oriented" sex is exhausting.
The reality is that female come is a fascinating, varied, and completely normal part of the human experience for those who experience it. It is a mix of ancient prostatic tissue, modern bladder function, and the complex web of nerves that make up the CUV complex.
Moving Forward with Actionable Insights
Understanding your body shouldn't feel like a chore. If you want to dive deeper into this, start by mapping your own anatomy. Use a mirror. Find the urethral opening. Feel the texture of the anterior vaginal wall compared to the posterior wall.
- Audit your hydration. Notice if your sexual response changes when you've had a gallon of water versus a day of nothing but coffee.
- Practice pelvic floor awareness. Learn the difference between a Kegel (contraction) and a reverse Kegel (release). The release is where the magic happens for ejaculation.
- Talk to your partner. If you're worried about the "mess," bring it up outside the bedroom. Knowing your partner is on board and unfazed by a little fluid can be the ultimate aphrodisiac.
- Consult a professional. If you experience pain during these releases, or if you feel like you have no control over your bladder in non-sexual situations, see a pelvic floor physical therapist. They are miracle workers for sexual health.
Ultimately, whether you produce a teaspoon of "prostate" fluid or a cup of diluted liquid, it’s all just part of the wide, weird, and wonderful spectrum of female physiology. Stop worrying about the labels and start listening to what feels good.