It’s heavy. That’s usually the first word people use to describe it. When you’re sitting there wondering what to do if I have suicidal thoughts, the world doesn’t just feel dark—it feels physically heavy, like the air in the room has turned to lead. You’re not "crazy." You aren't "weak." You’re likely just dealing with more pain than your current coping resources can manage. It’s basically a math problem where the pain is greater than the tools you have to solve it.
Right now, if you are in immediate danger, please stop reading this and call or text 988 in the US and Canada, or 111 in the UK. These are people who actually get it. They won't judge you. They just want to help you breathe through the next ten minutes.
Sometimes these thoughts aren't a loud scream. They’re a quiet, persistent hum in the back of your head telling you that everyone would be better off without you. That hum is a liar. Brains are incredible organs, but they can malfunction under pressure, misfiring signals that make a temporary crisis feel like a permanent state of being.
The Immediate "Right Now" Plan
First, let's get you safe.
Distance is your best friend. If you have a plan or have thought about specific ways to hurt yourself, you need to put physical space between you and those means. Give your car keys to a neighbor. Move to a different room. Go to a coffee shop where there are people around, even if you don't talk to a soul. Just being in a public space can sometimes take the edge off the intensity because it forces your brain to process external stimuli—the sound of a milk steamer, the chime of a door, a stranger’s sneeze—rather than just the internal loop of despair.
Have you eaten? It sounds stupidly simple, but low blood sugar makes emotional regulation nearly impossible. Drink a glass of water. Take a shower, as hot or as cold as you can stand it. The sensory shift of water hitting your skin can "reset" the nervous system's fight-or-flight response.
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Clinical psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan, who developed Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), often talked about "TIPP" skills. One of the most effective is Temperature. Splashing ice-cold water on your face triggers the mammalian dive reflex, which naturally slows your heart rate. It’s a physiological hack. You aren't thinking your way out of the mood; you’re biology-ing your way out of it.
Why This Is Happening (The Science Bit)
Suicidal ideation isn't usually about wanting to die. It’s about wanting the pain to stop. There’s a massive difference there.
When you’re under chronic stress or dealing with clinical depression, the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that handles logic, future planning, and "big picture" thinking—sort of goes offline. Meanwhile, the amygdala, your brain's alarm system, starts screaming. This creates a state of "cognitive constriction." You literally lose the ability to see other options. It’s like looking through a straw. You can only see the pain, so the only solution that appears in that tiny circle of vision is escape.
It's helpful to remember that your brain is currently a faulty narrator. It’s telling you that "this is how it will always be." But emotions are, by definition, transient. They are data points, not directives.
Moving Beyond the Crisis
Once the immediate "red alert" feeling subsides—and it will, because the human body cannot maintain peak physiological arousal forever—you need a longer-term strategy.
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- Be brutally honest with a professional. If you see a therapist, tell them the truth. Many people hold back because they’re afraid of being "locked up." In reality, mental health professionals distinguish between passive ideation (thinking about death) and active intent (having a plan and the means). Being honest allows them to actually help you build a safety plan that works for your specific life.
- Audit your "Inputs." Are you doom-scrolling? Are you listening to music that validates your hopelessness? While it feels cathartic to lean into the sadness, sometimes you need to aggressively pivot. Watch a dumb sitcom. Listen to a podcast about a topic you used to be interested in, even if you aren't interested in it right now. Fake it for twenty minutes.
- The "Wait One Day" Rule. Tell yourself: "I can do this tomorrow, but I'm going to wait twenty-four hours." Then, when that time is up, renew the contract for another day. It’s a negotiation with yourself. You're just buying time for the brain chemistry to shift.
Reaching Out Without Feeling Like a Burden
The biggest barrier to asking for help is the feeling that you’re "annoying" people.
Think about it this way: If your best friend came to you and said they were hurting this badly, would you feel annoyed? Or would you be devastated if they didn't tell you? You are denying the people who love you the chance to be there for you.
You don't have to give a grand speech. You can just text someone: "I'm having a really hard time and I don't want to be alone right now. Can we just hang out or talk?" You don't even have to talk about the "dark stuff." Just the presence of another human being can act as an anchor.
What to Do If I Have Suicidal Thoughts: Real-World Steps
If you're looking for a concrete list of what to do if I have suicidal thoughts, start here. Don't try to do all of these. Just pick one.
- Call a warmline. These are different from hotlines. Warmlines are staffed by peers—people who have been exactly where you are and recovered. They aren't there to "fix" you; they're just there to listen so you don't feel so isolated.
- Physical movement. This isn't "yoga will cure your depression." This is "go for a walk until your legs are tired." It burns off the excess cortisol and adrenaline that often fuels the "trapped" feeling of suicidal ideation.
- Identify your triggers. Did a specific conversation spark this? A financial setback? A lack of sleep? Identifying the "why" can sometimes strip the thought of its power. If you know the thought is a reaction to a specific stressor, it becomes a symptom rather than a fact.
- Create a Safety Plan. Write down three people you can call, three activities that distract you, and the address of the nearest emergency room. Keep it in your notes app. When the "brain fog" hits, you won't have to think; you just follow the instructions you wrote for yourself.
Common Misconceptions About Suicidal Feelings
A lot of people think that if they have these thoughts once, they’re "broken" forever. That's just not true.
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According to the CDC, millions of adults have serious thoughts of suicide each year, yet the vast majority do not act on them and go on to live full, meaningful lives. These thoughts are often a symptom of an underlying issue—like a vitamin deficiency, a hormonal imbalance, or untreated PTSD—rather than a reflection of your character or your future.
Also, ignore the "suicide is selfish" narrative. That's a harmful trope that only adds guilt to an already unbearable pile of emotions. Suicidal ideation is a health crisis. You wouldn't call someone with a broken leg selfish for needing a crutch. You are in a state of psychological emergency, and you deserve care, not judgment.
Actionable Next Steps
If you’ve read this far, you’ve already survived the last few minutes. That’s a win.
- Remove the means. If you have medications or tools you’ve been looking at, put them in a box and give them to someone you trust, or take them to a local pharmacy/police station for disposal.
- Schedule a "Body Check." Go to a primary care doctor. Sometimes, severe depressive spikes are linked to thyroid issues or extreme Vitamin D deficiencies. Get the bloodwork done.
- Find a specialized therapist. Look for someone trained in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) or DBT. These modalities are specifically designed to help people manage intense emotional distress and suicidal thoughts.
- Small goals only. Don't worry about next month. Don't worry about next week. Your only job right now is to get to tomorrow morning. When you get there, your only job is to get to lunch.
The feeling of wanting to die is almost always a feeling of wanting to be different than you are right now. You want the version of you that is hurting to end, but that doesn't mean your life has to. Things can change, and they often do, in ways you literally cannot imagine while your brain is in its current state. Stay here to see it.