Executive Functioning: What’s Actually Happening Inside Your Brain

Executive Functioning: What’s Actually Happening Inside Your Brain

You ever walk into a room and completely forget why you're there? Or maybe you've spent three hours staring at a pile of laundry, physically unable to start the task even though you know it only takes ten minutes. Most people call this laziness or being "scatterbrained." They're usually wrong.

What we’re actually talking about is executive function.

Think of your brain as a massive, chaotic airport. You've got planes landing, luggage carts zooming around, and thousands of passengers trying to find Gate B12. Executive function is the air traffic control tower. When the tower is understaffed or the radar goes down, planes circle aimlessly and the runway becomes a parking lot. It’s not that the planes (your skills) don't work; it’s that the coordination is broken.

The Three Pillars of the "Mental Manager"

Researchers like Dr. Russell Barkley and Dr. Adele Diamond have spent decades trying to pin down exactly what "executive function" means in the real world. It isn't just one thing. It’s a cluster of cognitive processes handled mostly by the prefrontal cortex—that's the part of your brain right behind your forehead.

If you want to get technical, it usually breaks down into three core areas:

  • Working Memory: This is your brain’s Post-it note. It’s the ability to hold onto information and actually use it. If someone gives you a phone number and you have to repeat it in your head until you find a pen, that’s working memory.
  • Cognitive Flexibility: The "pivot" skill. This is what lets you switch gears when the Wi-Fi goes out or your boss changes a deadline at 4:55 PM. People with low flexibility get "stuck" on a specific way of doing things.
  • Inhibitory Control: This is your internal "brakes." It’s what stops you from checking your phone when you’re supposed to be writing a report, or prevents you from blurting out something rude during a meeting.

Honestly, it’s a miracle we get anything done at all.

Why Some People Struggle While Others Glide

Executive dysfunction isn't a character flaw. It’s a biological reality.

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For people with ADHD, autism, or depression, the "air traffic control" tower is often wired differently. In ADHD, for example, the brain has lower levels of dopamine. This makes it incredibly hard to "regulate" attention. It’s not that people with ADHD can’t pay attention; it’s that they can’t control what they pay attention to. They might spend six hours researching the history of medieval salt mines while their taxes go unfiled.

But it’s not just neurodivergent folks.

Stress is a massive executive function killer. When you’re in "fight or flight" mode, your brain diverts power away from the prefrontal cortex and sends it to the amygdala—the emotional center. This is why you can't think straight when you're panicked. Sleep deprivation does the same thing. Being awake for 24 hours straight creates cognitive impairment similar to being legally drunk. Your "manager" basically goes on vacation and leaves a toddler in charge of the buttons.


The "Wall of Awful" and Task Initiation

There is a concept popularized by Jessica McCabe of How to ADHD called the "Wall of Awful." It’s the emotional barrier that builds up around a simple task.

Let's say you need to send an email.

  1. You forgot to send it yesterday.
  2. Now you feel guilty.
  3. Every time you think about it, you feel a spike of shame.
  4. That shame creates a literal physiological barrier.

To an outsider, you’re just sitting on the couch. Internally, you’re fighting a war. This is a failure of task initiation, a key component of executive function. You can see the finish line, but you can't find the "start" button.

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How Executive Function Shapes Your Career (and Relationships)

In a business context, executive function is often more important than IQ.

You can be the smartest person in the room, but if you can’t manage your time, organize a project, or regulate your emotions during a critique, you’re going to struggle. Employers often use "soft skills" as a euphemism for high executive function. They want people who can self-monitor.

In relationships, it’s even trickier.
If one partner has high executive function and the other struggles, it often leads to a "parent-child" dynamic. The organized partner feels like they’re doing all the "mental load"—tracking birthdays, paying bills, planning meals. The other partner feels nagged and incompetent. Recognizing that this is a brain-based difference, rather than a lack of love, is usually the first step toward fixing the resentment.

Real-world signs of a "glitchy" control tower:

  • Losing your keys... again. Even though they were just there.
  • "Time blindness." Thinking a task will take five minutes when it actually takes an hour.
  • Emotional outbursts over small inconveniences because your "inhibition" is tapped out.
  • Hyperfocusing on the wrong things while the house burns down (figuratively).

Can You Actually "Fix" Your Executive Function?

The short answer? You can’t really "fix" it in the sense of rewriting your DNA, but you can outsource it.

The most successful people with executive dysfunction don't try to "try harder." They build systems that make "trying" less necessary. This is often called "scaffolding." If your brain’s internal manager is weak, you hire an external one.

Externalize everything. Your brain is for having ideas, not for holding them. Use digital calendars, alarms, and physical checklists. If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist.

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The "Body Doubling" Trick. There is a fascinating phenomenon where people with executive function struggles find it easier to work when someone else is in the room. They don’t even have to be helping. Just the presence of another human acts as a "tether" to the task.

Break the "Atom." "Clean the kitchen" is a terrifying, vague command that the brain rejects. "Put three forks in the dishwasher" is a task the brain can handle. If you’re stuck, break the task down until it’s so small it feels stupid not to do it.

The Role of Medication and Nutrition

We can't talk about executive function without mentioning the physiological side.

For many, lifestyle changes only go so far. Stimulant medications for ADHD (like Ritalin or Adderall) work by increasing the availability of dopamine and norepinephrine in the prefrontal cortex. It’s like finally giving the air traffic controller a working headset.

Diet matters too, though it’s not a magic bullet. The brain is an energy hog—it uses about 20% of your body's calories. Stable blood sugar is vital. Protein-rich breakfasts can help provide the amino acids needed for neurotransmitter production.

Moving Forward: Actionable Strategies

Stop waiting for "motivation" to strike. Motivation is a feeling; executive function is a process. If you want to improve how you navigate the world, focus on these specific adjustments:

  • Audit Your Energy, Not Your Time: Identify when your "manager" is most alert. For many, this is the first two hours after waking up. Don't waste those hours on emails; use them for the "big" tasks that require the most inhibitory control.
  • Visual Cues: If you need to remember to take a package to the post office, put it on the floor in front of the front door. You have to create a physical "interrupt" in your routine.
  • The 2-Minute Rule: If a task takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. This prevents the "Wall of Awful" from ever forming.
  • Forgive the "Glitches": Beating yourself up for forgetting a deadline actually makes your executive function worse by triggering the stress response. Acknowledge the slip, adjust the system, and move on.

Executive function is the invisible engine of adult life. Understanding that it’s a finite resource—one that can be depleted by stress, hunger, and fatigue—is the only way to manage it effectively. Focus on building systems that support the brain you actually have, rather than the one you wish you had.