If you’ve ever found yourself sitting on a kitchen floor at 3:00 AM, crying into a lukewarm slice of leftover pizza because some guy named Josh didn’t text you back, you’ve probably had someone recommend Everything I Know About Love. It’s the book. The one with the pastel cover that seems to live on every millennial woman’s nightstand, right next to a half-empty glass of water and a vibrating phone.
Dolly Alderton didn’t just write a memoir. She wrote a map of the messy, chaotic, and often hilarious transition from being a teenager who thinks she knows everything to being a woman who realizes she knows very little—except, maybe, how to survive a hangover and who her real friends are.
It’s about bad dates. It’s about MSN Messenger. It’s about the soul-crushing realization that your twenties aren’t a glamorous montage but a series of expensive mistakes. But mostly, it’s about the one thing we usually overlook while chasing romantic "the one" narratives: female friendship.
The messy reality of the Everything I Know About Love book
Dolly Alderton is honest. Like, "sharing her bank balance and her deepest insecurities" honest.
The book kicks off in the early 2000s, a world of Topshop skirts and side fringes. We follow Dolly through her university years at Exeter and into her twenties in London. It’s a period defined by excess. There is a lot of drinking. There are bad decisions involving taxis and even worse decisions involving men who don't deserve her time.
What makes the Everything I Know About Love book stand out isn't just the humor, though Dolly is genuinely funny. It’s the vulnerability. She talks openly about her struggles with body image and an eating disorder during her youth. She describes the hollow feeling of looking for validation in the eyes of strangers. It’s uncomfortable because it’s relatable. Most "coming-of-age" stories try to polish the rough edges, but Alderton leaves the grit in.
She captures that specific brand of twenty-something anxiety where you feel like everyone else has received a secret manual for "How to Be an Adult" while you’re still trying to figure out how to register for a GP or pay a utility bill.
Why Farly is the real heart of the story
The biggest misconception about this book is that it's a collection of dating stories. Sure, the dating stories are there—including a particularly disastrous encounter with a man who loves his "patter"—but the central love story isn't romantic.
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It’s about Farly.
Farly is Dolly’s best friend. Their relationship is the anchor. Throughout the book, we see their bond tested by the inevitable shifts of adulthood. When Farly gets into a serious relationship, Dolly feels the sting of being "demoted" in her best friend's life. It’s a grief that isn't talked about enough. When the person who has been your primary partner in life starts building a life with someone else, where does that leave you?
The chapters dealing with Farly’s sister’s illness and death move the book from a lighthearted romp into something much more profound. It’s here that Dolly realizes love isn't just about the "spark" or the excitement of a new crush. Love is showing up. Love is being the person who knows how you take your tea when your world is falling apart.
Honestly, if you don't cry during the later chapters, you might need to check your pulse.
Redefining the "Self-Help" Memoir
Dolly doesn't lecture. She includes recipes—like her "Macaroni Cheese for the Vaguely Depleted"—and lists of things she thought she knew at eighteen versus what she knows now.
Things Dolly (and we) thought were true at 21:
- You will eventually "become" an adult and feel "settled."
- Every hangover is a tragedy.
- A boyfriend is a status symbol that proves your worth.
- You can change people if you love them hard enough.
The reality she landed on:
- You are basically the same person, just with better shoes and more responsibilities.
- Some hangovers are actually just a price you pay for a great night.
- Your friends are the ones who will actually hold your hand through the hard stuff.
- You are enough, even when you’re single and eating noodles over the sink.
There’s a specific section where she discusses the "Saturday night" vs. "Sunday morning" versions of ourselves. We spend so much time trying to be the Saturday night version—glamorous, fun, effortlessly cool. But the Everything I Know About Love book argues that the Sunday morning version—tired, messy, real—is the one that actually builds lasting connections.
The impact on pop culture and the TV adaptation
You can't talk about this book without mentioning its massive footprint. It won the Autobiography of the Year at the National Book Awards in 2018. It stayed on the Sunday Times bestseller list for what felt like forever.
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Then came the BBC/Peacock adaptation.
The show stars Emma Appleton as Maggie (the Dolly stand-in) and Bel Powley as Birdy (the Farly stand-in). While the show fictionalizes the names and some events, it retains that frantic, electric energy of 2012 Camden. It captured the era of Blackberry Pings and cheap wine in a way that felt painfully nostalgic for anyone who lived through it.
Some critics argued the show made "Maggie" less likable than Dolly in the book. But maybe that’s the point. We aren’t always likable in our twenties. We’re often selfish. We’re often loud. We often forget to ask our friends how they are because we’re too busy talking about our own drama.
Is it just for millennials?
It’s a fair question. The book is deeply rooted in a specific time and place. If you don't know what it’s like to wait for a Facebook "poke" or deal with the specific social hierarchies of a British university, some of the references might feel distant.
However, the core themes are universal.
Generation Z is discovering the book now, and they’re finding the same truths. The medium has changed—it’s TikTok instead of MSN, and Hinge instead of awkward club encounters—but the feeling of "Am I doing this right?" remains identical.
The book addresses the "Life Plan" we all create. The one that says we should be married by 28, have a house by 30, and a career peak shortly after. Dolly blows that plan up. She shows that the detours—the lost jobs, the breakups, the periods of loneliness—are actually where the "life" part happens.
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The nuance of "Everything I Know About Love"
One thing Dolly gets right is the complexity of envy. It’s hard to watch your friends hit milestones when you feel stuck. She admits to the jealousy. She admits to the fear that she’s being left behind.
This isn't a "girl power" book that ignores the friction between women. It acknowledges that friendships take work. They require apologies. They require you to swallow your pride and admit when you’ve been a bad friend because you were too wrapped up in your own head.
Key Takeaways from Dolly’s Journey:
- The myth of the "One": Romantic love is great, but it’s not the only type of love that completes a life.
- The value of the "Bad Years": The years where everything goes wrong are usually the ones that teach you the most about your own resilience.
- The importance of ritual: Whether it’s a specific birthday tradition or a shared meal, rituals keep friendships alive when life gets busy.
- Forgiving your younger self: You’re going to look back and cringe. That’s a sign of growth. Embrace the cringe.
The writing style is conversational and breathless. It feels like you’re at a pub with a friend who is three drinks in and telling you the most scandalous, heartbreaking, and hilarious stories of her life.
Actionable insights for your own "Love" journey
If you’ve finished the Everything I Know About Love book and you’re feeling a bit reflective, here’s how to actually apply its "wisdom" without having to go through the same amount of heartbreak Dolly did.
- Audit your friendships: Who are the people who make you feel safe? Who are the ones who only show up when things are "fun"? Invest more time in the former.
- Write a letter to your future self: Dolly’s lists of "things I know" are a great exercise. What do you know for sure right now? What are you still figuring out?
- Host a "Sunday Morning" gathering: Forget the fancy dinner parties. Invite people over for coffee and pajamas. No performance required.
- Stop waiting for "The Life" to start: If you’re waiting for a partner or a specific salary to start enjoying your life, you’re missing the point. Dolly’s book proves that the "waiting" period is the actual story.
- Read it again when you’re in a different stage: If you read this at 22, read it again at 30. You’ll find that different chapters hit you in entirely different ways.
Ultimately, the book is a reminder that you are the protagonist of your own life, but your friends are the co-stars who actually make the plot worth following. Love is a lot of things. It’s messy, it’s loud, it’s quiet, it’s painful, and it’s occasionally found in a bowl of really good pasta.
Everything else is just noise.