The first time you see a message on the ground in Limgrave that says "Dog," and it’s pointing directly at a giant, aggressive tortoise, you realize something about the Elden Ring community. They are completely unhinged. This isn't just about trolling newcomers. It’s a collective language born from restriction. Because FromSoftware doesn’t let you type freely—protecting us from the inevitable toxicity of the open internet—players have turned a limited word bank into a high-art form of comedy.
Honestly, the Elden Ring funny messages are probably the only reason half of us haven't thrown our controllers through the window yet. When you’ve died to Malenia for the 40th time and you see a message that just says "Seek god," it’s hard not to laugh. Or at least exhale sharply through your nose.
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The "Dog" Phenomenon and Why It’s Still Peak Comedy
If you’ve played for more than five minutes, you’ve seen it. Every single turtle in the Lands Between is a dog. It doesn't matter if it's the massive Turtle Pope, Miriel, or a tiny little guy hiding in the bushes near a cliff. The community has decided. Tortoises are dogs.
Why? Because "Turtle" wasn't a word in the original message template, but "Dog" was.
It’s basically a rite of passage now. You see a turtle. You write "Could this be a dog?" and you watch the appraisals roll in. This isn't just for the laughs, though. Every time someone appraises your message as "Good," you get a full heal. People have literally survived boss fights because some random player in another world thought their joke about a "dog" was funny enough to hit the like button.
The Hall of Fame: Classic Hits
- "Fort, night": This one actually caused an international crisis. English-speaking players kept leaving this near forts as a pun on Fortnite. Japanese players, however, took it literally. They spent hours waiting at forts until nighttime, thinking a secret boss would spawn. They weren't even mad when they found out the truth; they were just impressed by the stupidity.
- "Try finger, but hole": The undisputed king of low-brow humor. You’ll find this behind every corpse draped over a fence or a chair. It’s puerile. It’s everywhere. It’s never going away.
- "You don't have the right, O you don't have the right": Usually found in front of doors that simply do not open. Ever. It’s the game’s way of saying "Keep moving, buddy," but delivered with the cadence of a desperate prayer.
- "Liar ahead": The essential counter-troll. For every "Hidden path ahead" message pointing at a solid brick wall, there’s usually a "Liar ahead" message right next to it with a "Point Down" gesture.
Shadow of the Erdtree: The New Wave of Jokes
The 2024 DLC didn’t just bring harder bosses; it brought fresh meme material. In the Land of Shadow, things got a bit darker and, somehow, weirder.
I recently found a message in the Abyssal Woods—a place that is genuinely terrifying—that simply said, "I want to go home, and then edge." It had over 2,000 appraisals. It perfectly captured that specific mix of "I am terrified of these winter lantern monsters" and "I’ve been playing this game for too long today."
There’s also the obsession with Messmer’s... attributes. Messages near his boss arena or statues of Marika often involve the word "Chest" or "Visions of snake," and the community's creativity with gestures has only peaked. Using the "Warm Welcome" or "Rapture" emotes to position your character's ghost in suggestive ways near NPCs is a level of dedication that deserves an award. Or a therapist.
The Psychology of the "Hidden Path"
We’ve all done it. We see a message in a dark corner of a dungeon: "Hidden path ahead, therefore try attacking." You hit the wall. Nothing happens. You hit it again. Still nothing.
You look at the bloodstains on the floor. Ten other people died jumping off the ledge because a message told them there was a "secret item" below. In any other game, this would be griefing. In Elden Ring, it's part of the ecosystem. You aren't just fighting gods; you're fighting the collective mischief of millions of other Tarnished.
The Ethics of Appraising: To Like or Not to Like?
There is a genuine debate in the community about whether you should appraise "Bad" messages. If you give a message a "Poor" rating, it still shows up for other players, and it still heals the author.
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Basically, the system doesn't punish trolls. It rewards engagement. If you write something so annoying that 500 people rate it "Poor," you are essentially immortal. You're getting constant health refills because you’re a menace.
How to Write a Message That Actually Ranks
If you want that sweet, sweet healing during your next run, you need to be either incredibly helpful or incredibly funny. "Try jumping" at the edge of a cliff is a coin toss. But pointing out a real "Sniper ahead" in the Raya Lucaria Academy? That’s a gold mine.
- Use Gestures: A message with a ghost pointing at a specific corner is 10x more likely to get an appraisal.
- Timing is Everything: Place messages near "Sites of Grace" or right before boss fog. People are more likely to stop and read when they aren't being chased by a Grafted Scion.
- The "Emotional" Hook: Messages like "Don't give up, skeleton!" or "Praise the message!" after a brutal boss fight tap into the shared trauma of the player base. We’re all in this together, after all.
Beyond the Memes: Why This Matters
It’s easy to dismiss these messages as just "internet humor," but they serve a real purpose. Elden Ring is a lonely, oppressive game. You are a small, insignificant warrior in a world of decaying giants. Seeing a message that says "Still no pickle..." in the middle of a desolate wasteland reminds you that someone else was here. They were just as confused, bored, or amused as you are.
It turns a single-player journey into a shared experience. The messages are the "water cooler" of the Lands Between. They bridge the gap between players in Tokyo, London, and New York through a shared vocabulary of "Dogs" and "But holes."
Your Next Steps in the Lands Between
If you’re struggling with a boss or just feeling the fatigue of the Erdtree, start interacting with the floor.
- Read the Bloodstains: If you see a cluster of messages near a cliff, check the bloodstains first. If the ghosts are all jumping to their deaths, the message "Secret ahead" is a lie.
- Write Your Own: Don't just consume the humor. Leave a message near a scenic view that says "Seek physical comfort" or "Could this be a dream?" * Appraise Often: Be the reason someone survives a boss fight. If a message makes you chuckle, hit that "Good" button. It costs you nothing and might save a fellow Tarnished’s life.
The Lands Between is a brutal place, but it's a lot more manageable when you realize everyone else is just as obsessed with calling turtles "dogs" as you are.