It is the kind of story that feels like a fever dream from a bygone era of Hollywood. A seven-year-old girl, already a global icon thanks to a friendly alien, being whisked away to Studio 54 by her mother. No bedtime. No school. Just strobe lights, velvet ropes, and a front-row seat to the most hedonistic playground on Earth. This was the reality for Drew Barrymore and her mom, Jaid Barrymore.
If you look at Drew now—the bubbly, barefoot queen of daytime TV—it’s hard to reconcile her "sunshine-and-rainbows" persona with the grit of her childhood. But the history with her mother isn't just a "troubled past." It is a complex, ongoing saga of trauma, financial support, and a very public attempt at healing while the person who hurt you is still very much alive.
The Studio 54 Years and the "Monster"
Jaid Barrymore was more than just a stage mom. She was a partner in crime, or perhaps, a partner in the loss of innocence. Born Ildikó Jaid Makó in a German displaced persons camp to Hungarian refugees, Jaid’s own life was far from stable. When she married John Drew Barrymore—a man from acting royalty who was also an abusive alcoholic—the stage was set for chaos.
By the time Drew was seven, her father was gone. Jaid became Drew’s manager. But she also became her best friend in the worst way possible.
Instead of playdates, there were parties. Drew has famously recalled Jaid asking, "Do you want to go to school and get bullied, or do you want to go to Studio 54?" For a kid, the choice was obvious. But the cost was astronomical. By age nine, Drew was drinking. At ten, she was smoking marijuana. By twelve, she was using cocaine.
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The Institutionalization and the 14-Year-Old Adult
The breaking point came in 1988. Drew was thirteen, spiraling out of control, and occasionally violent. In a move that Drew has described as both "horrible" and "necessary," Jaid checked her daughter into Van Nuys Psychiatric Hospital.
This wasn’t a celebrity rehab with juice cleanses and yoga. It was a lockdown facility with padded rooms and stretcher restraints. Drew spent 18 months there. When she finally got out, she didn't go home. She went to court.
At 14, Drew Barrymore was legally emancipated. She became an adult in the eyes of the law, a "little girl lost" who now had to figure out how to pay rent and buy groceries while the rest of her peers were worrying about freshman year of high school. The umbilical cord wasn't just cut; it was incinerated.
Where They Stand in 2026: The "Luxury" of Grief
Fast forward to today. One of the most common things people search for is whether Drew and her mom have finally made up. The answer is... it’s complicated. Honestly, it’s probably more "human" than a standard Hollywood ending.
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In recent years, particularly in a 2023 interview with Vulture, Drew spoke with a jarring level of honesty about the difficulty of healing when your "abuser" (or at least the person responsible for your trauma) is still around. She mentioned how some of her friends, whose mothers have passed away, have a "luxury" she doesn't have—the ability to process the relationship as a finished chapter.
Naturally, the tabloids went wild. Headlines claimed Drew "wished her mother was dead."
She didn't.
She clarifyed later on Instagram, visibly frustrated, that she would never wish death on her mother. "I actually want her to be happy and thrive and be healthy," she said. But she also admitted that she has to "grow in spite of her being on this planet."
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The Financial Reality
Despite the decades of distance, Drew Barrymore still supports Jaid financially. She has been vocal about the fact that she cannot turn her back on the woman who gave her life. It’s a fascinating dynamic:
- No full reconciliation: They don't have a traditional mother-daughter relationship.
- Boundaries: Drew has mentioned needing "healthy pauses" from communication.
- Financial Care: Drew pays for her mother's living expenses, ensuring she is "taken care of."
Forgiveness vs. Forgetfulness
There is a massive misconception that "forgiveness" means everyone sits down for Thanksgiving dinner. For Drew, forgiveness looks like empathy. She’s acknowledged that Jaid was a woman who didn't know how to parent because she didn't have the tools.
"I forgive my mom. I forgive my dad," Drew said. But she also noted that she has struggled to forgive herself for the years of self-destruction that followed her upbringing.
If you're dealing with a toxic family dynamic yourself, there are a few real-world takeaways from the Barrymore saga that are actually useful:
- Emancipation can be mental, not just legal. You don't need a judge to tell you that you're allowed to set boundaries for your own survival.
- Support doesn't require access. You can ensure someone is safe (if you have the means) without giving them the power to disrupt your peace.
- Healing isn't linear. You might feel "over it" one day and be triggered by a text the next. That’s normal.
The relationship between Drew Barrymore and her mom is a living reminder that some wounds don't ever fully close; they just become parts of a larger, more interesting story. Drew didn't become a "monster" because of her mother. She became a "lion," as she puts it, protecting her own daughters, Olive and Frankie, from the cycle she had to break.
If you find yourself stuck in a loop of guilt regarding an estranged parent, start by defining what "peace" looks like for you today, not ten years from now. You might find that, like Drew, your growth depends less on their presence and more on your own resolve to be the parent to yourself that you never had.