It started with a casual date and ended with a digital ghost story that lasted four years. Honestly, if you watched the Netflix documentary Lover, Stalker, Killer, you might think you know the whole story. But the reality of the disappearance of Cari Farver is actually much darker, more calculated, and way more tragic than a simple "true crime" headline suggests.
Cari was a 37-year-old single mother from Macedonia, Iowa. She was smart, held down a steady job in IT, and was deeply devoted to her teenage son, Max. In late 2012, she met Dave Kroupa. Dave was a mechanic in Omaha who had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and was looking for something low-pressure. They hit it off.
Then, on November 13, 2012, Cari vanished.
But here is where it gets weird: she didn't seem gone. Within hours of leaving Dave’s apartment, his phone started blowing up with texts. They weren't "I had a great time" texts. They were angry. They were possessive. They were the beginning of a relentless campaign of harassment that would define Dave’s life for the next 1,500 days.
The Woman Who Never Left
For years, everyone—including the police and Dave himself—believed the disappearance of Cari Farver was actually a case of a woman who had simply snapped. The messages were constant. We’re talking 12,000 emails and over 50,000 text messages.
The "Cari" on the other end of the phone was everywhere. She sent messages to Dave’s ex-girlfriend, Shanna "Liz" Golyar. She messaged Dave’s mother. She even messaged her own mother, Nancy Raney, claiming she had moved to Kansas for a new job.
But Nancy knew something was wrong. Her daughter wouldn't just abandon her son. Cari had a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, and when Nancy tried to report her missing, local law enforcement initially brushed it off. They figured Cari was having an episode and had just "gone off the grid."
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It was a perfect cover.
The Twisted Reality of Liz Golyar
Here’s the thing that still keeps people up at night: the person Dave was leaning on for support during this stalking nightmare was the person actually doing it.
Shanna "Liz" Golyar wasn't just another victim. She was the architect.
Liz had met Dave shortly before Cari did. She was jealous. Deeply, dangerously jealous. On that morning in November 2012, as Cari was leaving Dave’s apartment, she passed Liz in the hallway. It was a three-second interaction.
That was likely the last time anyone saw Cari Farver alive.
Liz didn't just kill Cari; she stole her life. She took Cari’s phone and used it to send those first texts. She spent up to 50 hours a week creating fake email addresses and using scheduling apps to make it look like "Cari" was sending messages while Liz was sitting right next to Dave on the couch.
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How the Digital House of Cards Collapsed
You’ve got to wonder how someone gets away with this for so long. The breakthrough in the disappearance of Cari Farver didn't happen because of a body or a weapon. It happened because of "nerd work."
In 2015, two investigators from the Pottawattamie County Sheriff’s Office, Ryan Avis and Jim Doty, took over the cold case. They brought in Tony Kava, a digital forensics expert. They didn't look at the messages as proof that Cari was alive; they looked at the data behind the messages.
They found:
- Liz’s IP address linked to the "Cari" emails.
- A photo of Cari’s Ford Explorer on Liz’s phone, taken weeks before the car was officially "found."
- The ultimate smoking gun: a photo on an old SD card belonging to Liz that showed a decomposing human foot with a specific tattoo.
That tattoo matched Cari Farver.
Liz had even gone so far as to burn down her own house—killing her own pets in the process—and shoot herself in the leg, all to frame another woman (Dave’s other ex, Amy Flora) and keep the "Cari is a stalker" narrative alive.
Why This Case Still Matters
The disappearance of Cari Farver isn't just a crazy story for a documentary. It’s a massive lesson in how digital footprints can be manipulated. It took years for the legal system to catch up to the fact that a person can be "digitally alive" while being physically dead.
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In 2017, Shanna Golyar was found guilty of first-degree murder. She’s currently serving life without parole in a Nebraska prison. She still maintains her innocence.
Cari’s body has never been found.
What We Can Learn From the Investigation
If you’re ever in a situation where someone’s digital behavior doesn't match their real-world character, trust your gut. Nancy Raney knew her daughter. She knew Cari wouldn't miss her brother’s wedding or her son’s birthday.
- Digital Evidence is King: If someone is being harassed, save every single log. IP addresses and metadata often tell a story that the text of a message tries to hide.
- Persistence Pays Off: This case was cold for years. It only moved forward because two detectives decided to look at the old files with fresh eyes.
- Verify Identity: In a world of spoofing and AI, a text message is not proof of life. If you haven't heard a person's voice or seen their face, you don't actually know who you're talking to.
The legacy of Cari Farver is now tied to a memorial scholarship for IT students, turning a story of digital deception into a way to help others master the technology that eventually brought her killer to justice.
Next Steps for True Crime Followers:
Read A Tangled Web by Leslie Rule. It's widely considered the most detailed account of the case, written by someone who was actually in the courtroom during the trial. You can also look into the Cari Farver Memorial Scholarship if you want to see how her family is keeping her real memory alive, separate from the "stalker" persona Liz Golyar tried to force on her.