When we talk about the Spencers, the conversation usually starts and ends with Diana. She was the "People’s Princess," the icon, the woman who basically broke and then remade the British monarchy. But she wasn't some solo act that appeared out of thin air. She was the fourth of five children, born into a family that was, honestly, more "aristocratic" than the Windsors in some historical circles.
While the world watched Diana, her siblings—Sarah, Jane, and Charles—were living through the same chaotic childhood, the same messy parental divorce, and eventually, the same glare of the global spotlight.
You’ve probably seen them in the background of royal weddings or standing somberly at the unveiling of her statue in 2021. But their relationships with Diana were far from the "perfectly united front" the media likes to pretend they were. It was complicated. It was messy. It was real.
Lady Sarah McCorquodale: The Sister Who Was "Cupid"
If you think the story of Diana and Charles is a simple fairy tale, you’ve gotta look at Lady Sarah. She’s the eldest. She’s also the one who actually dated Prince Charles first.
Back in 1977, Sarah and Charles had a brief thing. It didn't last, mostly because Sarah was a bit too blunt for the palace’s liking. She famously told a reporter she wouldn't marry Charles "if he were the dustman or the King of England."
Naturally, Charles wasn't thrilled. He reportedly told her she’d done something "incredibly stupid." But Sarah didn't seem to mind. She eventually dubbed herself "Cupid" because she was the one who introduced Diana to Charles during a plowland shoot at Althorp.
The Trusted Confidante
Despite the "I dated him first" awkwardness, Sarah and Diana were incredibly tight. Sarah often served as an unofficial lady-in-waiting. She traveled with Diana. She knew the secrets. While the public saw a shy princess, Sarah saw the "wild" side.
There’s been plenty of talk from royal biographers like Andrew Morton suggesting Sarah was the one person Diana truly trusted when the marriage started to crumble. Sarah didn't just stand by; she reportedly encouraged Diana to find happiness elsewhere when the palace felt like a cage.
Today, she lives a relatively quiet life near Grantham. She’s served as High Sheriff of Lincolnshire and spent years running the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund. She’s still a fixture in the lives of William and Harry—sorta like the bridge back to their mother.
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Diana Princess of Wales Siblings: The Silent Tension with Lady Jane
Then there’s Jane. If Sarah was the rebel, Jane was the one who played by the rules. This caused some serious friction.
Lady Jane Fellowes (now Baroness Fellowes) married Robert Fellowes in 1978. Robert wasn't just some guy; he was the Queen’s Private Secretary. Imagine the tension. You have Diana, who felt like the palace was out to get her, and her sister, who was literally married to the guy running the palace’s daily operations.
Stuck in the Middle
It’s been widely reported—and backed up by Diana’s former butler Paul Burrell—that the sisters didn't speak for the last 18 months of Diana's life.
Think about that.
Jane was stuck in an impossible spot. Do you side with your sister, who is publicly warring with the institution you serve, or do you stay loyal to your husband and the Crown? Most accounts suggest Jane chose the latter, or at least tried to stay neutral, which Diana interpreted as a betrayal.
But when the tragedy happened in 1997, the rift vanished. Jane was one of the first people to fly to Paris with Charles and Sarah to bring Diana’s body home. The image of those two sisters, draped in black, is burned into the memory of anyone who watched the news that week.
Jane remains the most private of the siblings. She rarely gives interviews. However, she’s still very much in the inner circle of her nephews. She even gave a reading at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding in 2018. She’s also the godmother to Princess Charlotte.
Charles Spencer: The Protector of the Legacy
Charles, the 9th Earl Spencer, is the youngest. He’s the one we all remember for that blistering eulogy at Westminster Abbey. You know the one—where he took a massive swipe at the Royal Family for their treatment of his sister.
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It was a "drop the mic" moment before that was even a thing.
Charles has spent the last few decades as the guardian of Althorp, the family estate where Diana is buried. He’s a historian and an author, often writing about his ancestors, but he’s never really stopped talking about Diana.
The Althorp Controversy
There’s always been this rumor that Charles refused to let Diana live at Althorp when her marriage was failing. People love to paint him as the cold brother who turned her away.
But here’s the thing: It’s not that simple.
The Times actually issued an apology in 2021 for repeating those claims. The reality was about security. Charles offered her several properties, including Wormleighton Manor, but police advice suggested Althorp itself couldn't be made safe enough for the most photographed woman in the world.
Today, Charles is still very active on social media, often sharing glimpses of the "Temple" memorial at Althorp. He’s recently been through a public divorce from his third wife, Karen Gordon, and continues to write books that remind everyone the Spencers have been around much longer than the current royal drama.
The Brother the World Forgot
Most people think there were only four Spencer kids. But there was another.
John Spencer.
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He was born in January 1960, about a year and a half before Diana. Tragically, he died just ten hours after he was born. This is a detail that often gets glossed over, but it had a profound impact on the family dynamic.
Their parents, John and Frances, were under immense pressure to produce a male heir to the Spencer earldom. When John died, the grief was compounded by that "dynastic" pressure. Diana once mentioned that she felt like the "replacement" for the brother who didn't make it. It’s a heavy thing for a kid to carry.
Where They Stand in 2026
It’s been nearly 30 years since Diana died. That’s a long time for a family to heal, or to drift apart.
Honestly, the Spencer siblings are probably the only thing William and Harry can agree on right now. Despite the massive rift between the two brothers, both remain incredibly close to their "Spencer aunts" and "Uncle Charles."
- Sarah is the one who shows up at military events to support William.
- Jane is the quiet presence who bridges the gap between the Spencers and the Windsors.
- Charles remains the vocal keeper of the flame, ensuring nobody forgets the "Spencer" in Diana Spencer.
If you’re looking to understand Diana, you have to look at the people who grew up in the same drafty hallways of Park House and Althorp. They weren't just "the siblings of a princess." They were a tight-knit, often-warring, deeply loyal aristocratic unit that survived the 20th century’s biggest media storm.
Actionable Insights for Royal History Buffs
If you want to get closer to the real story, skip the tabloids and look at the primary sources.
- Visit Althorp: The estate is open to the public during July and August. It’s the only place where you can see the "Temple" and get a sense of the scale of the family Diana came from.
- Read Charles Spencer’s "The Spencer Family": It gives a non-royal perspective on their lineage that dates back centuries.
- Watch the 1997 Eulogy: If you haven't seen it recently, watch Charles Spencer's speech. It explains the "Spencer vs. Windsor" dynamic better than any season of The Crown ever could.
The story of Diana's siblings is a reminder that even in the most famous families, the bonds of blood are rarely simple, but they are almost always permanent.