You know that feeling when someone doesn't just disagree with you, but they actually laugh at your core idea? That’s derision. It’s sharp. It's pointed. Unlike a standard debate where people swap facts like trading cards, derision is designed to make the other person feel small, outdated, or just plain stupid. Honestly, we’ve all seen it happen in Twitter threads or during awkward family dinners where one uncle thinks he knows everything about crypto or climate change. It’s not just "being mean." It is a specific psychological tool used to enforce social hierarchies.
Derision is the act of treating someone or something as ridicules or unworthy of any serious consideration. It’s the "eye roll" of language. When you use it, you aren't trying to find the truth. You’re trying to exile an idea from the conversation entirely.
The Mechanics of Social Shaming
Social scientists, including the likes of Erving Goffman who studied social interaction and "facework," have long noted how we use mockery to maintain group boundaries. It’s about "us" versus "them." If I can laugh at your belief, I am implicitly saying that my belief is the only one a sane, rational person could hold. It’s a power move. Pure and simple.
Think about the way certain fashion trends are treated. When "dad shoes" first came back, the derision was everywhere. People weren't just saying they didn't like the aesthetic; they were mocking the very idea that anyone would pay $800 for something that looked like it belonged on a lawn-mowing retiree in 1994. But then, the trend shifted. What was once the object of derision became the height of cool. This shows how fluid and, frankly, fickle our social standards are. Derision is the fence we build around what we currently decide is "acceptable."
Why your brain loves to mock
Neurobiology suggests that when we engage in collective derision—like a group of friends making fun of a poorly made movie—our brains release oxytocin. We are bonding. But this bond is built on the exclusion of something else. It feels good to be on the "inside" of the joke. The problem is that this "high" often blinds us to the actual merit of what we’re mocking.
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We see this in the history of science constantly. Ignaz Semmelweis, the doctor who suggested that physicians should wash their hands before delivering babies, was met with absolute derision by the medical community in the 1840s. They thought the idea was hilarious and insulting. They weren't just skeptical; they were mocking. Because they chose derision over data, thousands of women died of childbed fever. That is the dark side of the "knowing laugh."
The Difference Between Satire and Pure Derision
People often confuse these two, but they are worlds apart in intent. Satire usually has a moral compass. It uses humor to punch up at power. Derision? It often punches down or sideways. It doesn't necessarily want to fix a problem; it just wants to humiliate the target.
If you look at Jonathan Swift’s "A Modest Proposal," he’s being derisive of the British attitude toward the Irish poor, but he’s doing it to highlight an injustice. Modern internet derision is often much lazier. It’s just a "ratio" on a post or a meme meant to shut down a nuanced conversation. It’s the death of nuance.
Why Derision is a Business Killer
In a corporate environment, a culture of derision is like pouring bleach on a garden. If an entry-level employee pitches a "weird" idea and the manager responds with a sarcastic comment or a smirk, that’s it. Innovation is dead in that room. You’ve just taught everyone that the cost of being wrong is public humiliation.
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Psychological safety, a term popularized by Harvard’s Amy Edmondson, is the literal opposite of a derisive culture. In her research at Google (the "Project Aristotle" study), the highest-performing teams were the ones where members felt they could speak up without being mocked. Derision creates "groupthink" because everyone is too terrified to be the person who gets laughed at. So, they stay quiet. They play it safe. The company stagnates.
The "Niche" Problem
We see this a lot in the tech world. Remember the launch of the original iPad? Or the first iPhone? The derision from established keyboard-phone fans was deafening. "Who wants to type on glass?" they asked with a sneer. When we use derision to protect our current way of life, we become blind to the future. It’s a defense mechanism for the status quo.
How to Handle Being the Target
It’s going to happen. If you do anything remotely interesting or new, someone will mock you. It’s a law of the universe.
First, realize that derision says more about the mocker's insecurities than your idea. People mock what they don't understand or what threatens their worldview. If you can stay calm, you win. The moment you get defensive, you validate their attempt to rattle you.
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- Audit the source: Is the person mocking you someone you actually respect? If not, why do you care about their "eye roll"?
- Look for the kernel of truth: Sometimes, derision is a poorly packaged piece of feedback. If you can strip away the nastiness, is there a valid point buried in there?
- Disarm with curiosity: Ask, "What specifically about this seems ridiculous to you?" It forces the mocker to move from an emotional, "laughing" state to a rational, "explaining" state. Most can't do it.
Moving Past the Sneer
We live in a high-derision age. The internet has made it very easy to be a spectator who throws stones. But if you want to actually build things, solve problems, or have deep relationships, you have to trade derision for curiosity.
It’s easy to mock. It’s hard to understand.
Next time you feel that urge to scoff at a new trend, a political idea you hate, or a "cringe" hobby someone else enjoys, stop. Ask yourself if you’re trying to be right or if you’re just trying to feel superior. The two are rarely the same.
Action Steps for the Week Ahead
- Monitor your internal monologue: Notice when you mentally "roll your eyes" at someone today. Why did you do it? Were they actually wrong, or were they just different?
- Practice the "Yes, and" rule: In your next meeting or conversation, instead of shutting down a "bad" idea with sarcasm, try to build on one small part of it.
- Audit your feed: If you follow accounts that exist solely to mock "idiots" (on either side of any aisle), unfollow them for a week. See how your stress levels change when you aren't constantly feeding on derision.
- Apologize: If you realized you've used mockery to shut someone down recently—especially a subordinate or a family member—own it. Say, "I realized I was dismissive of your idea the other day, and I'm sorry. I want to hear more about what you were thinking."
Derision might feel like a shield, but it's actually a wall. It keeps people out, but it also keeps you trapped in a very small, very stagnant world. Break it down.