You’ve been doing it since your first breath. That initial, lung-bursting cry in the delivery room? That was a message. It said, "I'm here, I'm cold, and I'm not exactly thrilled about this new environment." Fast forward a few decades, and you're likely sending hundreds of messages a day through Slack, eye contact, or the subtle way you sigh when a meeting goes over time. But if you stop and think about what is definition of communication, things get messy fast.
It’s not just talking.
Most people think it’s a simple "A to B" transaction. I have a thought, I put it into words, you hear it, and now you have the thought. Easy, right? Honestly, it's rarely that clean. Communication is a chaotic, multi-layered process of creating shared meaning. If I say "blue," I might be thinking of a calm ocean, but you might be thinking of a bruise or a jazz song. We are constantly navigating a sea of misunderstandings.
What is Definition of Communication in the Real World?
At its core, communication is derived from the Latin word communicare, which means "to share" or "to make common." It’s the connective tissue of the human experience. Academics like Harold Lasswell or Wilbur Schramm have spent their entire lives trying to map this out. Lasswell’s famous formula is pretty straightforward: Who says what, in which channel, to whom, with what effect?
But that feels a bit dry for a Tuesday afternoon.
Think about a first date. You aren't just "sending information." You're performing. You're monitoring the other person's pupils to see if they’re dilating (a sign of attraction). You’re adjusting your posture. You’re choosing words that make you sound smarter or funnier than you felt while eating cereal over the sink three hours ago. This is the Transactional Model of communication in action. It suggests that we are sending and receiving messages simultaneously. There is no "sender" and "receiver" in a vacuum; there is just a constant loop of feedback.
✨ Don't miss: Why T. Pepin’s Hospitality Centre Still Dominates the Tampa Event Scene
The Noise Problem
Why do we fail at this so often? The answer is noise. Not just the literal sound of a jackhammer outside your window, though that counts. In communication theory, noise is anything that distorts the message.
- Physical Noise: The loud bar where you can't hear your friend's story.
- Physiological Noise: Trying to listen to a lecture when you have a pounding migraine or haven't slept in 24 hours. Your body is literally blocking the signal.
- Semantic Noise: This is the big one. This happens when the sender and receiver have different meanings for the same words. Jargon is a classic culprit. If a developer tells a client the "back-end API is experiencing high latency," the client might just hear "the website is broken."
- Psychological Noise: Your internal biases. If you already dislike someone, you'll interpret their "Good morning" as a sarcastic jab rather than a greeting.
The Three Pillars You Can't Ignore
To really grasp what is definition of communication, you have to look at the three ways it actually happens. If you ignore one, the whole structure topples over.
1. Verbal (The Words We Choose)
This is the most obvious, but ironically, it often accounts for the smallest percentage of how we understand each other. Words are just symbols. They are arbitrary. There is nothing inherently "dog-like" about the word dog. We just all agreed that those three letters represent a furry quadruped.
2. Non-Verbal (The Real Truth)
You've probably heard the (somewhat disputed) statistic from Albert Mehrabian that 93% of communication is non-verbal. While that specific number is often taken out of context—it specifically referred to feelings and attitudes—the point remains. Your tone of voice, your "micro-expressions," and even how close you stand to someone (proxemics) speak louder than your vocabulary. If you say "I'm fine" while gritting your teeth and looking at the floor, nobody believes you.
3. Context (The Environment)
Context is the "where" and "why." Telling a dark joke at a funeral is a different communicative act than telling it at a comedy club. The setting dictates the rules. This is what sociolinguist Dell Hymes referred to in his "SPEAKING" model, which looks at the setting, participants, and ends (goals) of a conversation.
🔗 Read more: Human DNA Found in Hot Dogs: What Really Happened and Why You Shouldn’t Panic
Why Technical Definitions Often Fail Us
We live in a world of "asynchronous communication." That’s a fancy way of saying we don't talk at the same time anymore. Texts, emails, and comments sections have stripped away the non-verbal cues we rely on. This is why a period at the end of a "Yes." text can feel like a death threat to a Gen Z recipient, whereas a Boomer just thinks they're using correct grammar.
We are currently in a crisis of meaning.
When we look at what is definition of communication in the digital age, we have to include the medium itself. Marshall McLuhan famously said, "The medium is the message." He meant that the way we send information—whether it’s a 280-character tweet or a 400-page book—actually changes the content of the message itself. A breakup via text is a fundamentally different message than a breakup in person, even if the words "It's over" are identical.
The Role of Listening (The Forgotten Half)
Most people don't listen; they just wait for their turn to speak.
True communication requires active listening. This isn't just staying quiet. It’s "paraphrasing"—repeating back what you heard to ensure you actually got it right. It’s "probing"—asking open-ended questions that start with "how" or "what" to get more detail. If you aren't listening, you aren't communicating; you're just broadcasting. Like a radio station playing to an empty room.
💡 You might also like: The Gospel of Matthew: What Most People Get Wrong About the First Book of the New Testament
In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey argued that we should "seek first to understand, then to be understood." It sounds simple. It's actually incredibly hard. Our brains are wired to protect our own egos and viewpoints, which creates a "filter" that blocks out anything that challenges our worldview.
Applying the Definition to Your Life
Understanding the mechanics isn't just for academics. It's for the person who wants a promotion, the parent trying to reach a teenager, or the partner trying to end a recurring argument.
If you want to communicate better, you have to stop assuming people understand you. Start with the assumption that you are probably being misunderstood at least 20% of the time. This shifts your perspective from "Why don't they get it?" to "How can I make this clearer?"
Practical Steps for Clearer Communication:
- Audit your non-verbals. Check your posture. Are your arms crossed? Are you looking at your phone while someone is talking? Put the screen down. It’s the single most disrespectful thing you can do in a modern conversation.
- Define your terms. If you’re talking about "success" or "efficiency" in a business meeting, don't assume everyone shares your definition. Ask, "When I say success for this project, I mean X. Does that align with your view?"
- The "Three-Second Rule." Before responding to something provocative, wait three seconds. This allows your "lizard brain" (the amygdala) to cool down so your rational brain (the prefrontal cortex) can take over.
- Check for "Feedforward." This is a term used by Marshall Goldsmith. Instead of just giving feedback on the past, ask for "feedforward" for the future. "How can I communicate more clearly in our next meeting?" is much more productive than "You didn't listen to me yesterday."
Communication is a skill, not a trait. You aren't "born" a good communicator. You practice it. You fail at it. You apologize when you mess it up. And eventually, you realize that the goal isn't just to talk—it's to connect.
The next time you find yourself in a heated debate or a confusing email chain, take a step back. Ask yourself if you’re actually sharing a common meaning or if you’re just throwing symbols at each other and hoping some of them stick. That realization alone is the first step toward mastering the true definition of communication.
Stop broadcasting. Start connecting.