David Parker Ray was divorced four times. Think about that for a second. Four different women walked down the aisle with a man who would eventually be known as the "Toy Box Killer," one of the most depraved sadists in American history. When people search for a David Parker Ray wife, they’re usually looking for one of two things: the innocent women who escaped him through divorce before his crimes came to light, or the female accomplices who helped him lure victims into his soundproofed torture trailer in Elephant Butte, New Mexico.
The reality is actually way messier than most true crime documentaries let on. Ray didn't just have wives; he had a revolving door of domesticity that masked a literal dungeon. While his legal wives mostly vanished into the shadows of history—likely traumatized and wanting to forget they ever shared a bed with a monster—it was his "partners" and his own daughter who truly became the faces of his domestic horror.
The Many Wives of the Toy Box Killer
Ray’s marital history is a blur of failed relationships that predated his 1999 arrest. By the time the FBI raided his property, he had been through four divorces. We don’t hear much about the first three. Honestly, they were the lucky ones. They got out before the "Toy Box" became the sophisticated, $100,000 torture chamber it eventually was.
His first wife, however, did hear something chilling. Ray allegedly confessed to her that he had committed his first murder back in 1957. He told her he’d tied a woman to a tree and killed her. At the time, she probably thought it was a sick joke or a dark fantasy. Decades later, that "joke" looked a lot more like a confession. Authorities never could verify that specific claim, but it shows that the darkness was there from the beginning.
Cindy Hendy: The Partner Who Wasn't a Wife
If you're looking for the woman most people associate with the title of David Parker Ray wife, you're likely thinking of Cindy Hendy. She wasn't legally married to him, but she was his domestic partner and his most active accomplice.
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They met in a bar in Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Hendy was on the run from her own legal troubles in Washington state, including grand theft and drug charges. She wasn't some brainwashed victim; she was a willing participant who shared Ray's violent sexual fantasies.
Hendy’s role was pivotal. She was the "lure." She helped Ray kidnap women, including Cynthia Vigil, the brave survivor whose escape eventually brought the whole house of cards down. Vigil later testified that Hendy helped restrain her and even participated in the torture.
- The Plea Deal: In 2000, Hendy took a deal. She testified against Ray in exchange for a 36-year sentence.
- The Release: She didn't serve the whole thing. Due to "good time" credits and the laws at the time, she was released in July 2019.
- Current Status: As of the mid-2020s, Hendy has been living as a registered sex offender, reportedly in the Pacific Northwest.
Glenda "Jesse" Ray: A Family Affair
The most disturbing "woman in his life" wasn't a David Parker Ray wife at all—it was his daughter, Glenda Jean "Jesse" Ray. It is rare to see a father-daughter dynamic this toxic. Jesse wasn't just aware of what her father was doing; she was actively involved.
She was implicated in the disappearance of Jill Troia, a woman she was reportedly dating. Witnesses saw Jesse and Jill arguing at a restaurant; Jill was never seen again. Jesse eventually received a 2.5-year prison sentence followed by 5 years of probation for her role in the kidnapping and torture of other victims.
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There's a weird, tragic irony here. Jesse actually tried to tip off the FBI about her father's "activities" back in the mid-80s. They didn't take her seriously. Imagine how many lives could have been saved if they had listened to the daughter of the monster.
Why the Wives Stayed (And Why They Left)
It’s easy to judge from the outside. "How could you not know?" But David Parker Ray was a master of compartmentalization. He worked for the New Mexico State Parks department. He was a mechanic. He was a "normal" guy to his neighbors.
The women who were legally his wives in the 60s, 70s, and 80s lived with a man who was building a torture chamber in his spare time. He told people it was a "recording studio" or a "workroom." It was soundproofed for a reason.
Most of his wives left him because of his "eccentricities" and his escalating interest in sadomasochism, which they found repulsive or frightening. They didn't necessarily know he was a serial kidnapper, but they knew something was deeply wrong. They chose life; the women who stayed, like Cindy Hendy, chose the darkness.
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What Most People Get Wrong About the Case
There is a common misconception that Ray's wives were all victims. While he was undoubtedly abusive, the women who stayed the longest—Hendy and his daughter—were perpetrators.
Another big one? That he was a "serial killer." Legally, he wasn't. David Parker Ray died of a heart attack in 2002 before he could be tried for any murders. He was convicted of kidnapping and torture. While he claimed to have killed around 40 people, and the FBI believes him, no bodies were ever found. His "wives" and partners held the secrets to where those bodies were, and most of those secrets died with Ray.
Actionable Insights for True Crime Researchers
If you're diving deep into the David Parker Ray case or looking for more on his family dynamics, keep these specific points in mind:
- Search for Cindy Hendy's 2019 Release Records: Public records in King County, Washington, provide the most recent updates on her location and compliance as a sex offender.
- Review the "Toy Box" Audio Transcript: If you have the stomach for it, the transcript of the tape Ray played for his victims mentions how he expected them to interact with his "lady" (referring to Hendy). It highlights the psychological grooming he used.
- Focus on the 1986 FBI Tip: Researching why the FBI ignored Glenda Ray's initial warning is a masterclass in law enforcement failure and "small-town" bias.
- Cross-Reference Missing Persons: Many researchers look at the "jewelry photos" released by the FBI. These were items found in Ray's trailer that didn't belong to the known survivors. Several of these items have been linked by amateur sleuths to cold cases in the Southwest.
The story of a David Parker Ray wife isn't just one story—it's a collection of women who either escaped a predator or became one themselves.