Divorce is basically a financial grenade. You’re sitting there, staring at a house that used to be a home, trying to figure out how to pay off your ex-wife without moving into a cardboard box. It’s brutal. Honestly, the most common "solution" floating around suburban neighborhoods right now is the Home Equity Line of Credit.
But if you’re looking for dave ramsey heloc advice divorced dad style, you’re probably not going to like the answer. Dave famously hates HELOCs. He calls them "the credit cards of the mortgage world." For a dad trying to navigate the wreckage of a marriage, taking on a revolving line of credit can feel like a lifeline, but Ramsey views it more like a concrete life vest.
The Buyout Trap: Why a HELOC Feels Like a Cheat Code
Let’s look at the math. You’ve got $200,000 in equity. Your ex wants her $100,000 cut. You don’t have $100k sitting in a checking account—who does? So, you go to the bank. They offer you a HELOC. It’s easy. You write her a check, she signs the quitclaim deed, and you keep the 3% interest rate on your primary mortgage.
Wait.
Dave would tell you that you’ve just committed a massive "stupid" (his word, not mine). By taking out a HELOC, you aren't actually paying her off. You’re just trading a legal problem for a math problem. Now, you’re a single dad with a variable interest rate hanging over your head. If the market shifts or the bank decides to "call" that note—which they can do—you’re cooked.
The "Dirty Dave" Moment: When the Advice Shifts
Interestingly, there was a viral moment on The Ramsey Show fairly recently. A caller—a divorced dad with a rock-bottom 2.25% mortgage—asked about using a HELOC to get his ex-wife off his back.
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In a rare move, Dave actually suggested the HELOC as a temporary tool.
Don't get it twisted, though. He wasn't saying HELOCs are suddenly good. He was saying that in the specific, high-friction scenario of a divorce, the goal is a "clean break." If the dad could use the HELOC to buy her out and then immediately—and I mean immediately—attack that debt like his life depended on it, it might be the lesser of two evils.
But here’s the catch: Dave only gave that advice because the dad had the income to kill the debt in months, not years. Most guys aren't in that spot. They’re just trying to survive.
Why You Probably Shouldn't Keep the House
Kinda sucks to hear, but for most divorced dads, the house is an anchor. We get attached to the "stability" for the kids. We want them to have their same rooms.
Ramsey's core philosophy is about "living lean, not mean." If you’re spending 50% of your take-home pay on a mortgage and a HELOC just to stay in the same zip code, you’re not providing stability. You’re providing a high-stress environment where Dad is always broke.
- Refinance or Sell: If you can’t refinance the house into your name only with a 15-year fixed mortgage where the payment is less than 25% of your pay, Dave says sell it.
- The Quitclaim Error: Most divorce attorneys make a huge mistake here. They have the guy sign a quitclaim deed, but his name stays on the mortgage. Five years later, he tries to buy a new house with a new wife, and he can’t. Why? Because he still owes $300k on a house he doesn't own anymore.
The Reality of "Storm Mode"
When a divorce is happening, you’re in what Ramsey calls "Storm Mode." This means you stop the Baby Steps. You don't pay extra on the car. You don't worry about the credit cards beyond the minimums. You pile up every single dollar of cash you can find.
Why? Because you need a "war chest" for legal fees, moving costs, and the inevitable "oops" moments that happen when you’re living alone for the first time in a decade.
Once the ink is dry on the divorce decree, then you look at the equity. If you’ve piled up $40k in cash, maybe you don’t need that massive HELOC. Maybe you can negotiate a smaller buyout or use that cash to move into a sensible rental while you rebuild.
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Practical Steps for the Divorced Dad
Look, the dave ramsey heloc advice divorced dad seekers need to realize that debt is a dangerous partner in a divorce.
- Do the Math Without Emotion: Would you buy this exact house today, at today’s prices, on your single income? If the answer is no, why are you fighting to keep it?
- Force the Refinance: Never let your ex stay on the deed if you’re on the mortgage, and vice versa. The divorce decree should mandate a refinance or a sale within a strict timeframe (usually 90 days).
- Check the HELOC Terms: If you absolutely insist on a HELOC for a buyout, look for the "call" provision. Many banks can demand full payment if they feel the collateral (the house) is losing value. That’s a nightmare scenario for a single parent.
- Avoid Variable Rates: We’re in a weird economy. A variable rate HELOC can jump 2-3% in a year. That can turn a "doable" payment into a foreclosure.
The ultimate goal isn't to keep the house; it's to keep your freedom. If a HELOC keeps you tethered to a debt you can't afford, you're just extending the pain of the divorce for another twenty years.
Instead of looking for a way to borrow your way out of the mess, focus on the clean break. Sell the house, split the equity, and start Baby Step 1 with a clear head and zero debt. It feels like losing, but in three years when you’re buying a new place with cash and a 15-year fixed, it’ll feel like the biggest win of your life.
Next Steps for You:
Get a current appraisal of the home and a payoff statement from your mortgage lender. Calculate exactly what 50% of the equity looks like today. If that number, plus your existing mortgage, would result in a monthly payment higher than 25% of your take-home pay, start interviewing real estate agents to list the property. Stop looking for debt solutions to an income problem.