Ever watched a coworker laugh just a little too hard at the boss’s terrible joke? Or maybe you’ve seen someone suddenly become a huge fan of pickleball because the person they’re dating is obsessed with it. We call that "sucking up" or "brown-nosing," but the more formal, slightly weirder term is to curry favor. It’s one of those phrases we use without thinking. But honestly, if you stop to picture it, it sounds like you’re seasoning a preference with turmeric and cumin.
That isn't what it means. Not even close.
The definition of curry favor is pretty straightforward: it’s the act of trying to get someone to like you or grant you an advantage by using flattery or fawning behavior. It’s calculated. It’s intentional. It’s also based on a massive linguistic mistake that happened hundreds of years ago involving a yellow horse.
The Weird History of the Yellow Horse
To understand the definition of curry favor, you have to go back to 14th-century France. There was this popular satirical poem called Roman de Fauvel. The main character was a horse named Fauvel.
He was a jerk.
Fauvel was an acronym for various vices: Flattery, Avarice, Vileness, Variableness, Envy, and Laziness. In the story, this ambitious, vain horse rises to a position of power. Because he’s the one in charge, all the high-ranking leaders—kings, popes, and nobles—come to him. They don't just talk to him; they "curry" him.
To "curry" a horse means to rub it down or groom it with a special comb (a currycomb). So, these powerful people were literally grooming a van horse to stay on his good side. Over time, "currying Fauvel" became a metaphor for insincere flattery to get ahead.
Language is messy.
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English speakers heard "Fauvel" and thought it sounded like "favor." By the 1500s, the phrase morphed. The horse was forgotten, but the "currying" stayed. Now, we just curry favor. We groom people’s egos instead of a horse’s coat.
Is it Always a Bad Thing?
People usually think the definition of curry favor implies something slimy. It feels manipulative. Most linguists and sociologists, like those who study "ingratiation theory," point out that there’s a spectrum.
On one end, you have genuine politeness. You’re being nice because you’re a nice person. On the other end, you have "sycophancy." This is where the flattery is so thick you can barely breathe.
Think about the office environment. If you bring a coffee for a colleague because they’ve had a rough morning, that’s just being a human being. If you bring a coffee specifically for the VP of Sales right before your performance review, you’re currying favor.
The difference is the "why."
The Psychology of Ingratiation
Psychologist Edward E. Jones spent a lot of time looking at this back in the 1960s. He identified several types of ingratiation:
- Flattery: Complimenting someone to make them feel good about themselves (and hopefully, you).
- Opinion Conformity: Suddenly agreeing with everything the target says. "Oh, you love 8-hour documentaries on the history of salt? Me too!"
- Self-Presentation: Dressing or acting in a way you know the other person admires.
It’s a survival mechanism. We are social animals. In the wild, if the alpha of the pack liked you, you got the best scraps of meat. In a modern corporate skyscraper, if the CEO likes you, you get the corner office. The stakes have changed, but the lizard brain remains the same.
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How to Spot It in the Wild
You've probably seen it in movies. Think of Waylon Smithers from The Simpsons. He is the walking, talking definition of curry favor. Everything he does is designed to please Mr. Burns.
But in real life, it’s subtler.
It’s the "like" on every single LinkedIn post a recruiter makes. It’s the neighbor who suddenly starts helping you weed your garden right before they ask to borrow your expensive power tools.
Is it effective? Honestly, yeah. Usually. Research suggests that even when people know they are being flattered, they still tend to like the person doing the flattering. We are suckers for a compliment. Even a fake one.
The Risks of Being a "Favurer"
There is a point of diminishing returns. If you overdo it, you lose "idiosyncrasy credits." This is a term used by social psychologists to describe the "bank" of status and respect you have with a group.
If you spend all your time currying favor, your peers stop trusting you. You become the "toady." The "lackey."
Once you lose the respect of your equals, the favor you’ve curried with the person above you starts to matter less. Why? Because a leader who relies on a sycophant looks weak. Nobody wants to lead a group where the only person supporting them is someone they know is just faking it for a promotion.
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Why the Definition of Curry Favor Matters Now
We live in a "personal branding" world. Social media is basically a giant machine for currying favor with an invisible audience.
When you post a photo specifically to get likes from a certain group, or you use certain hashtags to align yourself with a trend you don't actually care about, you're currying favor with the algorithm. We’ve automated the yellow horse.
Understanding this phrase helps you see through the noise. It helps you distinguish between someone who is genuinely "networking" and someone who is just "grooming the horse."
Practical Ways to Navigate This
If you want to get ahead without being a sycophant, focus on "prosocial" behavior instead of "ingratiating" behavior.
- Be specific, not broad. Instead of saying "You're so smart," say "I really liked how you handled that data discrepancy in the meeting." Specificity feels like genuine observation; broadness feels like a script.
- Challenge when necessary. True favor is often earned by being the person who is brave enough to say "I'm not sure that's the best idea," provided you have a better one.
- Watch the power dynamic. If you only ever "curry" upward, people will notice. Try being just as helpful to the intern as you are to the Director.
The definition of curry favor reminds us that humans have been trying to game the system for centuries. We just switched from grooming French satirical horses to sending strategically timed emails.
What You Should Do Next
Start paying attention to the "praise-to-ask" ratio. If someone compliments you, wait to see if an "ask" follows within the next five minutes. If it does, you're being curried.
More importantly, look at your own habits. If you find yourself changing your opinions just to match the person across the table, stop. It’s exhausting. And frankly, most people can smell a fake from a mile away. Real influence isn't about rubbing someone the right way; it's about being someone worth listening to in the first place.
If you’re interested in the nuances of social engineering, look up the work of Robert Cialdini on the "Principle of Liking." It explains the science behind why we fall for this stuff. But for now, just remember: don't be the guy grooming the yellow horse. Be the person who actually knows how to ride.