It was 1978. The Commodores were basically the kings of funk. They had "Brick House." They had "Machine Gun." They were this high-energy, sweat-soaked outfit from Tuskegee that could make any room shake. And then, out of nowhere, they dropped a waltz.
Honestly, it shouldn't have worked. A waltz? In the middle of the disco era? But Commodores Three Times a Lady didn't just work; it became the biggest hit the group ever had. It changed everything for them. It also, quite frankly, was the beginning of the end for the band as a unit.
You've probably heard the story that it’s just a simple love song. It’s actually way more layered than that.
The Toast That Changed Lionel Richie’s Life
Lionel Richie didn't just sit down to write a chart-topper. He was at his parents' 37th wedding anniversary party. His father, Lionel Sr., stood up to give a toast to his mother, Alberta.
The speech was moving. His dad looked at Alberta and said, "I love you. I want you. I need you." He went on to describe her as a "great lady, a great mother, and a great friend."
Richie was floored. He realized in that moment that he had never really told his own wife, Brenda Harvey, those kinds of things. He felt guilty. He felt inspired. He went home and wrote a song that was essentially a "thank you" note to the women in his life—his mother and his wife.
But here is the kicker: he didn't think it was a Commodores song. Not even a little bit.
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He actually wrote it with Frank Sinatra in mind. Seriously. He pictured Ol' Blue Eyes crooning those lines over a glass of whiskey. When the band gathered to work on the Natural High album, Richie played it for their producer, James Anthony Carmichael. He told Carmichael, "I’ve got this song, but it’s for Sinatra."
Carmichael listened. He didn't care about Sinatra. He told Richie, "No, this is going on the album."
Why Three Times a Lady Felt "Different"
If you look at the charts in August 1978, the song was an anomaly. It hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 on August 12, replacing "Miss You" by the Rolling Stones. It stayed there for two weeks. It also topped the R&B charts and the Adult Contemporary charts.
It was a "triple threat" hit.
Musically, it’s a waltz—$3/4$ time. Most pop hits are in $4/4$. That rhythmic shift gives it that swaying, ballroom feel. The arrangement is sparse. It’s not over-produced. You have that iconic piano intro, Richie’s vulnerable vocal, and those lush harmonies from the rest of the guys.
The rest of the Commodores—Thomas McClary, William King, Ronald LaPread, Walter Orange, and Milan Williams—were suddenly in a weird spot. They were a funk band. They loved the success, but they were becoming "the guys who back up Lionel Richie's ballads."
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Success is a double-edged sword. Commodores Three Times a Lady was so huge that it basically forced Richie into a solo career. People wanted the balladeer. The band wanted to keep the funk alive. You can see the tension starting right there in 1978, even though Richie didn't officially leave until 1982.
A Few Facts You Might Not Know:
- It was the only Motown song to reach the Top 10 on the US Billboard Hot 100 in all of 1978. Motown was struggling a bit then, and this song saved the year for them.
- It was massive in the UK. It stayed at number one for five weeks.
- Country artists loved it. Conway Twitty covered it and took it to the Top 10 on the country charts in 1984.
- The song was nominated for two Grammys: Song of the Year and Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group. They lost to the Bee Gees, because, well, it was 1978.
The Bittersweet Legacy of the Lyrics
The lyrics are simple. "Thanks for the times that you've given me / The memories are all in my mind." It’s pure gratitude.
But there’s a bit of irony when you look back at Richie’s personal life. The song was dedicated to Brenda Harvey, his high school sweetheart. They had this "perfect" image. However, by the late 80s, things got messy.
In his 2025 memoir Truly, Richie finally opened up about the "scandal of the century"—that infamous 1988 night where Brenda discovered him with Diane Alexander. It led to an arrest and, eventually, a very public divorce.
It’s strange to hear such a pure song about being "three times a lady" when you know the real-life ending was so complicated. But that’s the thing about great art. It captures a moment of truth, even if that truth doesn't stay true forever. At that anniversary party in the 70s, the feeling was real.
How to Appreciate the Song Today
If you’re a musician or just a fan, go back and listen to the Natural High version, not just the radio edit. The full version is over six minutes long. It has room to breathe.
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Pay attention to the bridge. The way the intensity builds before dropping back down into that quiet, reflective chorus.
Next time you’re at a wedding or an anniversary, listen for it. It’s still a staple for a reason. It taps into a very specific, universal human emotion: the realization that you’ve been taking someone for granted.
To really get the full experience of the Commodores' range, listen to "Three Times a Lady" and then immediately play "Brick House." It’s wild to think it’s the same group of guys.
If you're looking to build a classic soul playlist, start with the Natural High album. It’s the perfect bridge between the gritty 70s funk era and the polished 80s pop-soul that Lionel Richie would eventually define.
Next Steps for You
- Listen to the 12-inch version: Most people only know the 3-minute radio cut. Find the 6:36 version to hear the full instrumental arrangement.
- Compare the covers: Check out Conway Twitty’s version to see how the waltz translates into a country ballad.
- Explore the album: Listen to Natural High in its entirety to hear how the band tried to balance their funk roots with Richie's growing pop sensibilities.