You’ve seen the infomercials. You know the ones—the grainy footage from the late 90s where Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley are smiling on a sliding board, looking like they haven’t aged a day since the Carter administration. It’s easy to dismiss it as just another piece of "As Seen on TV" junk gathering dust in your grandmother's basement.
But here’s the thing.
The chuck norris machine exercise—officially known as the Total Gym—isn't actually a gimmick.
It started in 1974 as a serious piece of physical therapy equipment. The CEO, Tom Campanaro, didn't design it for television; he designed it because he wanted a way to rehab injuries using an incline plane. Chuck Norris actually got involved because he used the machine to fix a torn rotator cuff that wouldn't heal through traditional therapy.
Six weeks later, he was back to doing roundhouse kicks. That’s not a "fact" from an internet meme; it’s the literal origin story of why he became the face of the brand for over thirty years.
The Science of Sliding: How It Actually Works
Most people think of resistance as "picking up heavy circles of iron." The Total Gym flips that. It uses a percentage of your own body weight on a calibrated incline.
Basically, you are the weight.
If you lay the glideboard flat, you’re moving almost zero percent of your weight. If you click it up to the highest setting, you’re pushing or pulling a massive chunk of your total mass. It’s a simple physics trick that makes it remarkably versatile for anyone from a 70-year-old with "bad knees" to a martial artist.
Why Your Joints Love the Incline
Traditional lifting is vertical. You’re fighting gravity directly. That’s great for building bulk, but it can be brutal on your spine and shoulders.
The chuck norris machine exercise path is linear and supported. Because your back is usually pressed against the glideboard, your spine stays neutral. You aren’t "wobbling" under a barbell.
- Closed-chain movements: Your hands or feet are usually fixed (like in a squat or a press), which experts from the American Council on Exercise (ACE) note is better for joint stability.
- Variable Resistance: You can change the difficulty in three seconds by moving a pin. No plates to swap.
- Constant Tension: Unlike a dumbbell where the weight feels "light" at the top of a curl, the cable system on a Total Gym keeps the muscle under tension through the entire range of motion.
3 Core Chuck Norris Machine Exercises He Actually Uses
Chuck has been vocal about his specific routine for decades. He doesn't do 500 different moves. He sticks to a few "big" ones that hit multiple spots at once.
1. The Total Gym Chest Press
This isn't your standard bench press. You’re sitting or lying on the board, grabbing the handles, and pushing forward.
Honestly, the real benefit here is the core engagement. Because you’re on a moving board, your abs have to fire just to keep you from sliding sideways. It’s a "sneaky" ab workout.
2. The Incline Pull-Up
Most people can't do a single pull-up. It's hard!
🔗 Read more: Exercises for a smaller waist: Why your core workout might be failing you
On the Total Gym, you can do a pull-up even if you’re 50 pounds overweight. You set the incline low, lay on your stomach, and pull your body up the rails. As you get stronger, you raise the incline. Eventually, you’re pulling nearly your entire body weight. It’s the single best way to "scale" one of the hardest exercises in the world.
3. The "Love Handle" Twister
Chuck calls this one of his favorites for staying lean. You sit sideways on the glideboard, hold both handles, and rotate your torso.
It targets the obliques and the transverse abdominis. It’s low impact, but after 20 reps, you’ll feel like someone poked you in the ribs with a hot iron. In a good way.
Is It Still Worth Buying in 2026?
Let's talk money and reality.
A brand new Total Gym FIT or XLS can run you anywhere from $800 to $1,500. That’s a lot of cash for a sliding board.
However, because these things were sold to millions of people who "intended" to work out but eventually just used them as clothes racks, the secondhand market is a goldmine. You can often find a Total Gym XLS on Facebook Marketplace for $200.
The Pros
- Time: You can do a full-body circuit in 15 minutes because there’s no transition time between exercises.
- Safety: It’s almost impossible to "drop" the weight on yourself.
- Longevity: These machines are built like tanks. The steel frames rarely break.
The Cons
- The "Ripped" Factor: If your goal is to look like a professional bodybuilder, this isn't the tool. You can’t easily "overload" it beyond your body weight unless you buy the extra weight bar attachment.
- Size: Even though they fold up, they are long. You need about 8 feet of floor space to use it comfortably.
- The Learning Curve: The cables can be a bit fiddly at first. You might feel like an octopus trying to get into position.
What Most People Get Wrong
People think this is a "cardio" machine. It’s not.
While you can get your heart rate up by moving fast, it’s primarily a strength and flexibility tool. It’s much closer to a Pilates Reformer than a treadmill.
In fact, a study published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research looked at similar incline bodyweight trainers and found they were highly effective for improving muscular endurance, especially in older adults. It’s about "functional" strength—the kind that helps you carry groceries or get out of a chair without making that "ungh" noise.
Your Actionable Game Plan
If you’re looking to start a chuck norris machine exercise routine, don't overcomplicate it.
Start with the "Big Five":
- Leg Press/Squats (using the squat stand)
- Chest Press
- Seated Row (great for posture)
- Pullover (for the lats and triceps)
- Crunches (on the board)
Do 15 reps of each. Do it three times. That’s it.
You don't need to be a Texas Ranger to see results. You just need to be consistent. If you’re worried about the price, check your local thrift stores or online classifieds first. People are giving these away, and their loss is your gain—literally.
Stop looking at the machine as a 90s relic. It’s a physics-based gym that fits in a closet. Grab a used one, set the incline to level 3, and just start moving. Your rotator cuffs will thank you later.
Next Steps:
- Audit your space: Measure out an 8-foot by 3-foot area to see where the machine will live.
- Check the secondary market: Search for "Total Gym" on local marketplaces to find a deal under $300.
- Focus on form: Watch a video on "Total Gym cable transitions" to avoid the common frustration of getting tangled during your first workout.