Labels are weird. You’ve probably found yourself in that blurry gray zone where you’re hanging out with someone, things are physical, but nobody is picking out wedding china or even necessarily meeting the parents. Usually, we just call it "friends with benefits," but that phrase feels a bit dated, doesn't it? It sounds like a bad 2011 rom-com starring Justin Timberlake. Sometimes you need another word for friends with benefits that actually fits the specific vibe of your life.
Maybe "situationship" is closer to the mark. Or maybe you're just "seeing each other" in a way that doesn't involve a shared Netflix password.
Modern dating is a mess of unspoken rules. According to researchers like Dr. Justin Lehmiller at The Kinsey Institute, these arrangements are actually incredibly diverse. They aren't just one-size-fits-all. Some people are genuinely best friends who happen to sleep together, while others are basically strangers who only text after 11 PM. If you're looking for a better way to describe your current thing, you’ve got options.
Why the Standard Label Often Fails
The term "friends with benefits" (FWB) implies a very specific balance. It suggests a solid foundation of platonic friendship topped with sexual intimacy. But let's be real. Often, the "friendship" part is a polite fiction. If you don't actually hang out in the daylight or know their last name, are you really friends? Probably not.
That’s why people hunt for a different vocabulary.
"Casual" is the big umbrella. It’s safe. It’s vague. It tells people you’re busy but not lonely. But "casual" doesn't capture the nuance of a recurring connection. You might use the term "non-exclusive" if you're being clinical about it, or "placeholder" if you're being brutally honest with yourself.
The Rise of the Situationship
You’ve heard this one. It’s the defining relationship term of the 2020s. A situationship is essentially another word for friends with benefits, but with more emotional baggage and less clarity. It’s that space where you’re doing "relationship things"—brunch, watching movies, talking about your day—without the commitment of a "partner" label.
It's a trap for some. For others, it’s a sanctuary.
Elizabeth Armstrong, a sociology professor at the University of Michigan, has spent years studying "hookup culture." Her research suggests that these labels often serve as a protective layer. By calling it a situationship or a "thing," you’re essentially opting out of the traditional "escalator" of dating. You aren't moving toward marriage; you're just... there.
Different Strokes: Finding the Right Synonym
Sometimes you want something that sounds a bit more sophisticated or maybe just less "college."
- Companionship with an edge. This is for the older crowd. It sounds dignified. It suggests you actually like the person’s personality but have zero interest in merging your finances or living together.
- A "No Strings Attached" (NSA) arrangement. This is the classic. It’s purely transactional. If you’re looking for another word for friends with benefits that removes the "friend" requirement entirely, this is it. It’s about the physical, period.
- Fling. Sounds temporary. It’s the summer romance that you know has an expiration date once the leaves turn brown.
There’s also the "cuddle buddy" or "platonic plus." These are softer. They imply a level of affection that goes beyond a cold hookup but stops short of a full-blown romance.
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Then you have "roster." This is a more modern, slightly more cynical way to describe a series of casual connections. If someone is "on your roster," they are a recurring character in your dating life, but they aren't the lead.
The Professional Angle: The "Social Arrangement"
In some circles, especially in high-density urban areas like NYC or London, you’ll hear people describe their status as an "arrangement." Now, this can sometimes lean toward "sugar dating," but more often it just means a highly structured casual relationship. There are boundaries. There are schedules. It’s efficient.
Is it romantic? Not really. Is it effective? For some workaholics, absolutely.
The Psychological Impact of the Label
Does it actually matter what you call it?
Actually, yes.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that the way partners label their relationship significantly impacts their communication styles. If you call it "just hanging out," you're much less likely to bring up your feelings or ask for support when things get tough.
If you use a term like "unofficial partner," you’re signaling that there’s more weight to the connection.
Words create boundaries.
If you tell your friends you have a "friend with benefits," they’ll likely ask how the sex is. If you tell them you’re in a "situationship," they’ll likely ask if you’re okay and if you need a drink. One sounds fun; the other sounds like a project.
Slang and International Flavors
Depending on where you are, the terminology shifts wildly.
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In the UK, you might hear "shag buddy." It’s blunt. It’s honest. There’s no pretending you’re going to the gallery together next weekend.
In Australia, it’s often just "casual." In online dating spaces, specifically on apps like Hinge or Tinder, you’ll see the "Looking for" tags. These have become the new shorthand. "Short-term, open to long" is basically the polite, algorithmic way of saying you’re looking for another word for friends with benefits while keeping your options open for a soulmate.
"Casual fun" is the universal code for "don't leave a toothbrush at my place."
The "Booty Call" vs. The FWB
We have to distinguish these two. A booty call is a verb; a friend with benefits is a noun.
A booty call happens at 2 AM. A friend with benefits might actually help you move a couch. If the only time you hear from someone is when the bars close, you don't have a friend with benefits. You have a "hookup."
Using the term "casual partner" can bridge this gap. it sounds more respectful than a booty call but less intimate than a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Why We Avoid the Word "Friend"
Honestly, the word "friend" in this context is often a lie.
True friendship requires a level of vulnerability and consistency that many casual arrangements lack. If you can’t call this person when your car breaks down, they aren't your friend. They are an "acquaintance with intimacy." That sounds a bit robotic, doesn't it?
Maybe that’s why "situationship" took off so fast. It acknowledges the "situation" without overpromising on the "friendship."
Navigating the Conversation
If you’re currently in something and you realize the label doesn't fit, you have to talk about it. This is where most people fail. They’re scared that by trying to find a better another word for friends with benefits, they’ll scare the other person off.
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But clarity is kind.
You don't need a formal "define the relationship" (DTR) talk that lasts three hours. You can just say, "Hey, I really like our setup, but 'friends with benefits' feels a bit off. Can we just call this a casual thing?"
Or, if you’re feeling bold, "I think we’re in a situationship, and I’m actually okay with that for now."
Is There a "Proper" Term?
There isn't a dictionary definition that everyone agrees on. Language evolves.
In the 1950s, people might have said they were "seeing each other" or "keeping company." In the 70s, it was "swinging" or "free love." Today, we have a whole vocabulary of "poly-adjacent" terms like "primary" or "secondary" partners, even if we aren't strictly polyamorous.
The "proper" term is whatever ensures both people are on the same page.
Actionable Steps for Defining Your Setup
If you’re struggling to figure out what to call your person, stop looking at the dictionary and look at your behavior.
- Check the "Daylight Test": Do you see them when the sun is up? If yes, "friend" is a fair label. If no, you’re looking for a synonym for "hookup."
- Assess the "Crisis Contact": Would you call them if you were in the ER? If no, use a term like "casual acquaintance" or "fun-buddy."
- Analyze the Conversation: Do you talk about your fears and dreams, or just memes and music?
- Be Honest About the Future: Are you waiting for someone better? If so, "placeholder" is the internal word you're looking for, even if you don't say it out loud.
Don't get hung up on the "standard" terms. If "extracurricular partner" or "weekend regular" feels right to you, use it. The goal of finding another word for friends with benefits isn't just to be trendy; it’s to be accurate so nobody gets their heart stepped on.
Start by being honest with yourself about what the connection actually provides. Is it just sex? Is it an ego boost? Is it genuine companionship without the baggage? Once you know that, the label becomes a lot easier to pick. You can then communicate that boundary clearly, ensuring that your "casual" thing doesn't turn into a "complicated" disaster.