Language is a messy, breathing thing. One day a word is a weapon, and the next, it’s a term of endearment shouted across a crowded bar. If you’ve spent even five minutes on "Queer TikTok" or Twitter, you’ve probably seen the firestorm. The question pops up like clockwork: can bisexuals say the f slur?
It’s the kind of discourse that makes people delete their accounts.
Honestly, there isn't a single "LGBTQ+ Supreme Court" that hands down a ruling on this. But there is a massive amount of history, pain, and sociolinguistic theory behind why some people say "absolutely" and others say "never in a million years." To understand where we are in 2026, we have to look at who the word was actually built to hurt.
The History of a Heavy Word
The etymology of the f-slur is darker than a lot of people realize. We aren't just talking about a "bundle of sticks" here—though that’s the literal meaning. By the early 20th century, specifically around 1914 in publications like A Vocabulary of Criminal Slang, the term started being used to target "sissies" or men who didn't fit the rigid, "macho" mold of the time.
It was a tool for gender policing.
If you were a man and you weren't "manly" enough, you were a target. This included gay men, sure, but it also included bisexual men, trans women, and anyone else who blurred the lines of heteronormativity. Sociologist C.J. Pascoe, in her landmark 2007 book Dude, You're a Fag, noted that the slur was often used to punish a lack of masculinity rather than just a specific sexual orientation.
Why Bisexual Men Feel a Right to Reclaim
For bisexual men, the experience of being called this slur is often indistinguishable from the experience of gay men. A homophobe yelling from a passing car doesn't stop to ask for your specific Kinsey scale rating before they hurl an insult.
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- They see a man with a "feminine" walk.
- They see two men holding hands.
- They see a guy wearing nail polish or "alt" fashion.
Because the violence and social ostracization are the same, many argue the right to reclaim the word is the same. If you’ve been a "punching bag" for that word, you have a right to take its power away. André Wheeler, writing for The Guardian, famously explored how reclaiming the slur felt like a "fuck you" to the establishment. For a bisexual man who has faced that same "scarlet letter," using the word can be a way to signal: "I'm not scared of you anymore."
The "Gatekeeping" Debate: Who Actually Gets a Pass?
This is where it gets sticky. Within the community, there’s a persistent idea of "proximity to straightness." Some people believe that because a bisexual person could be in a "straight-passing" relationship, they don't face the same lifelong weight of the slur as a monosexual gay man.
It’s a controversial take.
Critics of this view point out that "passing" isn't a choice for many. If you're a bisexual man who is naturally "femme" or visibly queer, you are living in the crosshairs of that slur every single day, regardless of who you’re currently dating. The idea that a bisexual person is "half straight" is often seen as a form of biphobia that ignores the very real violence bisexual people face.
The Lesbian and Non-Binary Perspective
Can bisexual women or non-binary people say it? Traditionally, the "f-slur" was the masculine-coded slur, while "dyke" was the feminine-coded one. However, the lines have blurred significantly.
Many lesbians and non-binary folks report being called the f-slur by bigots who just use it as a catch-all for "queer." In the documentary Fagbug, Erin Davies explored this after her car was vandalized with the slur. She isn't a gay man, but she became the face of the word's reclamation because she was the one who had to scrub it off her car.
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"Language is tied to power, identity, and resistance. While some terms have been successfully reclaimed, their impact varies based on who is listening."
This quote from a 2025 HISA report on LGBTQ+ slurs hits the nail on the head. Reclamation isn't just about you; it's about the room you're in.
What Most People Get Wrong About Reclamation
People think reclamation is a free-for-all. It’s not.
Linguistic reclamation is a political act. When a community takes a word that was used to dehumanize them and starts using it for "in-group" bonding, it changes the word's "affective value." A study in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology found that people who use reclaimed slurs often feel a stronger sense of community.
But there are rules.
- In-Group Only: You don't say it around straight people. That’s a basic boundary. If a straight person hears a bisexual person say it, they might think they have "permission" to use it too. They don't.
- Consent Matters: Even within the queer community, many older folks who lived through the horrors of the 80s and 90s (and the height of the AIDS crisis) find the word deeply triggering.
- Intent vs. Impact: You might mean it as a joke, but if the person you're talking to has trauma associated with that word, your intent doesn't matter.
Why Can Bisexuals Say The F Slur? The Case for Inclusion
The primary argument for why bisexuals can use the term is simple: Shared Victimhood.
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Bisexual people are part of the "we" in "We're here, we're queer." Historically, bisexual activists were on the front lines of the same riots and protests as gay and trans activists. In 2026, with the rise of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation like the "Project 2025" blueprints that seek to erase "sexual orientation" from federal protections, the external world doesn't differentiate between a gay man and a bi man.
Both are viewed as "deviant" by those who use the slur.
If we start gatekeeping slurs based on "how queer" someone is, we risk fracturing the community. Most experts agree that if a word has been used to oppress you, you have a seat at the table when it comes to reclaiming it.
Actionable Insights: How to Navigate This
If you're bisexual and wondering if you should add this word to your vocabulary, consider these practical steps:
- Check Your History: Have you personally been targeted by this word? Reclamation is most powerful when it’s a personal "reclaiming" of power that was taken from you.
- Know Your Audience: Read the room. Using the word in a private group of queer friends is very different from tweeting it to 10,000 strangers.
- Respect the "No": If someone tells you they aren't comfortable with the word, stop. It’s that simple. Community solidarity is more important than using a specific term.
- Acknowledge the Nuance: Understand that gay men may have a different visceral reaction to the word than you do. Their perspective isn't "wrong," it's just rooted in a different lived experience.
Ultimately, the question of whether bisexuals can say the f-slur comes down to the balance of personal liberation and community respect. It’s about recognizing that while we all share a history of being "othered," we don't all carry the same scars. Use your voice, but use it with the awareness that words still have the power to bleed.