Honestly, we've kinda been lied to about what counts as "real" sex. There is this weird cultural pressure that says if there isn't penetration, it’s just foreplay or some high school relic. But let’s get real for a second. Dry humping, or outercourse if you want the medical term, is one of the most underrated ways to actually reach climax without all the stress of typical intercourse.
It’s basically the art of grinding. You’re using friction, body weight, and fabric to hit the right spots. For a lot of people, especially those with a clitoris, this actually works better than the "real thing." According to 2022 research involving 3D modeling of the clitoris, steady, broad pressure (exactly what you get from grinding) is often more effective at boosting blood flow than internal movement.
The best dry humping positions aren't just about mimicry. They are about physics. You’re looking for the right angle to create that specific "sweet spot" tension.
The Straddle (The Power Move)
This is the gold standard. One partner lies down—flat on their back or propped up on pillows—while the other sits on top, facing them. If you’re the one on top, you have all the control. You can lean forward to increase the weight or sit back to change the angle of the rub.
Vulva owners usually find this is the best dry humping position because the pubic bone of the person underneath acts as a solid "grinding post." It’s stable. It’s direct. It hits the more than 10,000 nerve endings in the clitoris with every shift of the hips.
- Pro Tip: If the person on top is wearing thinner fabric like leggings or silk, and the person on bottom is wearing something with more texture like denim, the friction increases exponentially.
- The Twist: Try the "Reverse Straddle." Turn around so you’re facing your partner's feet. It changes the contact point on the penis or clitoris and lets the person on bottom get a much better view.
The Modified Missionary (The Classic)
People mock missionary for being "vanilla," but for dry humping, it's a technical powerhouse. You both lie face-to-face. The key here isn't just lying flat. One partner should tuck a leg between the other’s legs.
This is what sex educators like Justin Hancock often point to when discussing intimacy. It allows for full-body contact. You’re kissing, you’re feeling their heartbeat, and you’re using your thighs to create side-to-side friction rather than just up-and-down.
It’s cozy. It’s high-effort but low-risk. Plus, if you’re trying to avoid the exchange of fluids, keeping your jeans on in this position creates a literal fabric barrier that is almost 100% effective at preventing pregnancy, provided things stay truly "dry."
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Standing Against the Wall
This one feels a bit more "movie scene," but it’s actually very practical. One partner leans against a sturdy wall while the other presses into them. This position relies heavily on gravity and leg strength.
Basically, the person with their back to the wall can lift one leg and wrap it around the other’s waist. This tilts the pelvis perfectly. It exposes the perineum and the base of the penis or the upper part of the vulva to more direct pressure.
It’s intense. It’s fast. However, it can be a bit of a workout for your calves, so maybe don't plan on staying here for an hour.
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The Side-Saddle or "Scissoring" Lite
You both lie on your sides, facing each other. Intertwine your legs like a zipper. This is a favorite for people who want to be lazy but still feel everything. Because you’re on your sides, there’s less "crushing" weight, which makes it easier to breathe and stay in the moment for longer sessions.
You can also do this in a "spooning" setup. The partner behind reaches around while grinding their pelvis into the back of the other's thighs or buttocks. It’s less about the genitals touching and more about the rhythmic pressure against the large muscle groups, which can be surprisingly arousing.
Why Outercourse is Actually Healthier
Let's talk about the health side of this, because it’s not just about the "feeling." Sexual health experts, including those from organizations like the World Association for Sexual Health, emphasize that outercourse is a vital "harm reduction" strategy.
- Lower STI Risk: While skin-to-skin contact can still spread things like HPV or Herpes (especially if you're down to just underwear), the risk for HIV and other fluid-borne infections is virtually zero if the clothes stay on.
- Zero Pregnancy Scare: If no semen touches the vaginal area, you're safe. It’s the ultimate "peace of mind" sex.
- No Friction Burn (Usually): If you use soft fabrics, you avoid the micro-tears that can sometimes happen during unlubricated penetrative sex. However, watch out for "rug burn" from denim—that's a real thing.
Practical Steps to Level Up
If you're going to dive into the best dry humping positions tonight, don't just jump into it.
- Fabric Choice Matters: Silk or satin is great for "sliding," but cotton or denim provides the "grip" you need for intense friction.
- Use Your Hands: Don't just rely on hip movement. Use your hands to guide your partner's hips or to add extra pressure where you need it.
- The Pillow Prop: In almost every position mentioned, a firm pillow under the hips of the person on the bottom changes the game. It’s a 5-second fix that doubles the pleasure.
- Communicate: Since you can't "see" what's happening under the clothes, you have to talk. A simple "a little higher" or "more pressure" goes a long way.
Next time you're feeling the heat but don't want the "full" experience, try the Straddle with a pillow prop. Focus on the rocking motion rather than thrusting. It’s a completely different sensation that might just become your new favorite.