You probably remember Benjamin Franklin from your third-grade history book. He’s the guy with the kite, the spectacles, and that slightly smug look on the hundred-dollar bill. But there’s a side to him that your teacher definitely skipped over.
Honestly, it’s the most relatable thing he ever wrote.
Around 1781, while he was living in France and acting as the United States Ambassador, Franklin penned a satirical essay that we now call Benjamin Franklin Fart Proudly. He didn't actually title it that—it was officially called "A Letter to a Royal Academy"—but the modern nickname stuck for obvious reasons. He was bored, he was annoyed with pretentious scientists, and he decided to address the one thing every human does but nobody talks about: gas.
Why the Royal Academy of Brussels Got Trolled
The Royal Academy of Brussels had put out a call for scientific papers. They wanted something "useful," but Franklin thought their ideas of utility were basically trash. They were obsessed with abstract math and theoretical physics that didn't help the average person one bit.
Franklin, being a man of practical inventions (think lightning rods and bifocals), decided to give them a taste of real-world "utility."
He wrote a formal, deadpan proposal suggesting that the world's greatest minds should stop worrying about the stars and start worrying about our colons. He argued that the most pressing issue facing humanity was the "fetid smell" of flatulence. Basically, he wanted a pill that would make farts smell like perfume.
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The Scientific "Theory" Behind the Stink
He wasn't just making a joke; he was actually using his scientific brain. He noticed that what we eat changes the "scent-iments" we produce.
He pointed out that if you eat a bunch of onions and "stale flesh," your gas is going to be a nightmare. But if you stick to vegetables, it's a lot more manageable. His big "ask" was for chemists to find a drug that could be mixed with common food or sauces to render the natural discharge of wind "not only inoffensive, but agreeable as perfumes."
Imagine that. Instead of clearing a room, you'd be a walking Glade plug-in.
It Wasn't Just About the Laughs
You've got to understand the context here. Franklin was a fan of "bagatelles"—short, witty essays meant to entertain his friends. He never actually sent this letter to the Royal Academy. He knew they’d probably have a heart attack if he did. Instead, he sent it to a buddy of his, Richard Price, a British philosopher.
But there’s a deeper point buried under the toilet humor.
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Franklin was making a massive statement about the ivory tower of academia. He asked, "Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick’d out of Aristotle?"
Ouch.
He compared the joy of a scientist looking through a prism to the "ease and comfort" a regular guy feels seven times a day when he lets one rip. He literally argued that the freedom to pass gas comfortably was more important to human happiness than the freedom of the press.
The "Fart-hing" Pun
If you think modern puns are cringey, Franklin was the OG. He ended the essay by saying that compared to the practical benefit of sweet-smelling gas, all other scientific discoveries were "scarcely worth a FART-HING."
Get it? A farthing was a tiny British coin.
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The man was a genius, but he was also a total troll. He spent his days negotiating treaties with the French king and his nights writing about how to make gas smell like violets.
Why Fart Proudly Still Matters
You might think this is just a weird footnote in history. But honestly, it shows why Franklin was so successful. He didn't take himself too seriously. In an age of powdered wigs and extreme formality, he was willing to talk about the messy, smelly reality of being alive.
He even touched on the health risks. He noted that when well-bred people "forcibly restrain the efforts of nature," they end up with "great present pain" and "habitual cholics." Modern doctors would basically agree—holding it in isn't great for your gut.
Actionable Insights from a Founding Father
So, what can we actually take away from Benjamin Franklin Fart Proudly? It’s not just a historical curiosity.
- Practice Intellectual Humility: Don't get so caught up in big, abstract ideas that you forget the basic needs of the people around you.
- Use Humor as a Tool: If you want to critique a powerful institution, sometimes a well-placed joke is more effective than a 50-page manifesto.
- Acknowledge the Human Condition: We’re all biological machines. Ignoring that doesn't make us more "civilized"; it just makes us more uncomfortable.
Next time you’re stuck in a boring meeting or reading a pretentious academic paper, just remember that Benjamin Franklin was right there with you. He just happened to have the guts to write about it.
To really lean into the Franklin philosophy, you could try tracking how your diet actually affects your own "discharges." Start by cutting back on the "stale flesh and onions" for a week and see if your roommates notice a difference. It’s exactly the kind of "practical enquiry" Franklin would have loved.
Next Steps for the History Buff:
- Check out the Papers of Benjamin Franklin (Volume 32) at the American Philosophical Society to see the letter in its academic context.
- Read his other satirical works, like "Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress," to see more of his "unfiltered" side.
- Look into the history of the Royal Academy of Brussels to see the actual math problems they were obsessing over that drove Franklin so crazy.