You’ve seen the clip. The dramatic gasp, the phone screen glowing in a dim apartment, and Sara Carton looking like she just saw a ghost while sitting next to her fiancé, Ben Mezzenga. If you were scrolling TikTok during Love Is Blind Season 8, you couldn't escape the video of a woman crying about how "subpar men" shouldn't get a Netflix platform. That woman is Andra Berghoff, and she basically became the unofficial "main character" of the season without ever stepping foot in the pods.
People went wild. Was it a secret ex? Was it something darker? The internet detectives did what they do best: they dug. They found out Ben played baseball for the University of Minnesota. They found his old realtor listings. Everything Andra mentioned in her cryptic "warning to the girlies" pointed right at Ben.
Who Is the Ben Love is Blind TikTok Girl?
The woman behind the viral video is Andra Berghoff, a Minneapolis-based content creator known on TikTok as @hopeyoufindyourdad. Honestly, the timing was almost too perfect. Just as the world was getting to know Ben as this "nice guy" from Minnesota, Andra dropped a bomb. She didn't name him at first, but she didn't have to. The Minneapolis dating scene is apparently the size of a postage stamp, and everyone immediately knew who she was talking about.
Andra’s initial video was raw. She was visibly upset, crying about how the show was glorifying men who, in her words, "treat women like human garbage." She alleged that Ben was a master of manipulation who would "do anything for fame."
But here’s the thing—as the season progressed, the details got a little more... complicated.
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What did she actually claim?
Initially, the internet's imagination ran away with the story. Because she was so emotional, some people assumed the worst. However, Andra eventually clarified things. According to her, she and Ben went on exactly two dates about four years ago. They met on Tinder. They kissed. And then? He ghosted her.
Wait. That’s it?
Well, according to Andra, it wasn't just the ghosting. It was the "vibe." She claimed he and his friends used to make fun of how poorly they treated women. She also alleged he was handing out "YouTube business cards" to girls he was dating to grow his following—a detail that Sara later confirmed was actually true. Talk about a red flag with a QR code attached.
The Relationship Amnesia of Ben Mezzenga
When Sara confronted Ben about the TikTok on camera, he suddenly developed a very convenient case of "relationship amnesia." It was painful to watch. He admitted he knew Andra, but when Sara asked for specifics, he just blanked.
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"I honestly don't remember," he said.
He couldn't remember why they stopped talking. He couldn't remember what they talked about. He basically tried to paint it as a forgettable blip from years ago. But for Sara, the issue wasn't the date itself; it was the hundreds of comments under the video. If he was just a "nice guy who ghosted one girl," why were dozens of other women in Minneapolis tagging him?
What the Cameras Didn't Show You
Reality TV is rarely "real." Sara later revealed in interviews with People and Entertainment Weekly that the scene where she "discovered" the TikTok was totally staged. She had actually seen it earlier that day at a brewery while Ben was hanging out with his friends.
The producers essentially made them go home and "re-discover" it so they could catch the reaction on camera.
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Even weirder? Sara found out Ben had her on "Find My Friends" and then deleted her the second she arrived in Nashville after the show. She also discovered he was indeed handing out those cringe-worthy business cards. By the time they reached the altar, the TikTok drama wasn't just a rumor—it was the final nail in the coffin.
The Aftermath: Where Are They Now?
- Sara Carton: She said "I don't" at the altar and hasn't looked back. She’s been vocal about trusting her intuition and realizing Ben’s values didn't align with hers (especially after that awkward conversation where he said he "stays out of" social issues like BLM).
- Ben Mezzenga: He’s been trying to pivot into the influencer life, which sort of proves Andra’s point about him being there for fame. He appeared at the reunion looking very "PR trained," giving calculated answers that didn't really satisfy anyone.
- Andra Berghoff: She’s still creating content. While some fans accused her of being a "clout chaser," others saw her as a whistleblower who saved Sara from a potentially messy marriage.
Why This Matters for Future Seasons
The Ben Love is Blind TikTok girl saga changed how we watch the show. It proved that the "background checks" Netflix does aren't foolproof against a scorned TikTok creator with a large following. It also showed that in 2026, you can't just go on a reality show and pretend your past doesn't exist. Someone, somewhere, has the receipts.
If you’re following the fallout, the best thing you can do is look at the patterns. One person calling you out might be a "bitter ex," but a hundred comments saying the same thing is a data point.
Next Steps for You:
If you want to see the "receipts" for yourself, you should check out Sara's TikTok where she posted a two-part response to Ben’s claims. It’s a masterclass in how to handle a public breakup with grace. Also, keep an eye on the Minneapolis "Are We Dating The Same Guy" Facebook groups; that's where the real tea usually starts brewing before it ever hits Netflix.