If you’ve ever stood on the corner of 38th and Duane, looking up at the hills, you probably felt it. That specific, salt-crusted air. It’s heavy. Astoria, Oregon, isn't some manicured resort town where the grass is trimmed with scissors and everyone wears brand-new Patagonia vests. It’s gritty. It’s the oldest American settlement west of the Rockies, and honestly, sometimes it looks like it.
Most people come here because of a movie made in 1985. You know the one. But if you only show up to see the "Goonies house" and then leave, you’re basically eating the garnish and throwing away the steak. Astoria is a place defined by the Columbia River Bar—a stretch of water so violent and unpredictable it’s literally called the Graveyard of the Pacific. Over 2,000 ships have gone down near here since the late 1700s. That kind of history does something to a town’s soul. It makes it sturdy.
The Reality of Life at the Edge of the World
People forget that Astoria was the first place. Before Portland was a glimmer in a developer's eye, John Jacob Astor’s fur-trading empire was planting a flag right here in 1811. It’s a boom-and-bust town. First it was fur. Then it was timber. Then it was salmon canning. At one point, there were so many canneries lining the waterfront that you could practically walk across the roofs without touching the ground.
Now? It’s different.
The canneries are mostly boutique hotels or breweries like Buoy Beer—where you can watch sea lions through a glass floor while sipping a Czech Pilsner. But don’t let the craft beer fool you. The working waterfront is still very much alive. You’ll see massive cargo ships, some the size of skyscrapers laid on their side, being guided through the channel by local river pilots. These pilots are the highest-paid mariners in the world for a reason. Navigating the "Bar" requires a level of intuition that a computer just can't replicate.
Why the weather isn't actually a dealbreaker
Everyone complains about the rain. "It’s so gloomy," they say. Look, if you want 300 days of sunshine, go to Bend or San Diego. Astoria gets about 67 inches of rain a year. That’s a lot. But the rain creates this moody, cinematic atmosphere that defines the Pacific Northwest. It’s why the Victorian houses on the hills—the ones locals call "The Painted Ladies"—look so striking against the gray sky.
When the fog rolls in off the Pacific and swallows the 4.1-mile-long Astoria-Megler Bridge, the town feels isolated in the best way possible. It’s a vibe. It’s "Twin Peaks" meets a salty fisherman’s wharf. You learn to wear wool and stop carrying umbrellas. Umbrellas are for tourists who haven't figured out that the wind here will just turn them inside out anyway.
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Exploring the Steepest Streets You’ll Ever Walk
If you’re planning to walk around Astoria, bring good shoes. Seriously. The streets are built on a vertical incline that makes San Francisco look flat.
The Astoria Column is the peak. It sits 600 feet above sea level at the top of Coxcomb Hill. Most people climb the 164 spiral stairs to the top, which is exhausting, but the reward is a 360-degree view of the Coast Range, the river, and the ocean. It’s tradition to buy a small balsa wood glider at the gift shop and hurl it from the top. Watching those little planes catch an updraft and sail toward the trees is oddly therapeutic.
But the real magic happens lower down in the "Lower Town" and "Uniontown" districts. This is where the immigrants settled—Scandinavians, Finns, and Chinese workers who built the backbone of the region.
- Finn Ware: Stop here if you want to understand the Nordic roots. It’s not a museum, just a shop, but it smells like cardamom and history.
- The Liberty Theatre: A restored 1920s vaudeville palace that feels like stepping back into a more elegant era.
- The Flavel House: This is the Queen Anne-style mansion you see in all the postcards. It belonged to Captain George Flavel, a maritime pilot who was basically the king of the town in the late 1800s.
The Maritime Museum is Not Optional
Usually, I tell people to skip the "main" tourist museums. They’re often boring. The Columbia River Maritime Museum is the exception. It is world-class.
They have a 44-foot motor lifeboat that you can actually walk through to see how the Coast Guard rescues people in 30-foot swells. It’s terrifying. You realize that the water out there isn't just a pretty backdrop; it’s a force of nature that demands respect. You’ll also see the Lightship Columbia, a floating lighthouse that used to be anchored at the mouth of the river to warn ships away from the sands.
If you have kids, they’ll like the buttons and the big boats. If you’re an adult, you’ll spend two hours reading the stories of the shipwrecks and wondering how anyone survived a winter here in 1860.
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The Food Scene is Better Than It Has Any Right to Be
Astoria isn't trying to be a "foodie destination," which is exactly why the food is so good. It’s unpretentious.
Bowpicker Fish & Chips is a legend. It’s a literal boat converted into a food stand. They only serve Albacore tuna fish and chips. That’s it. There is almost always a line, and they close when they run out of fish. If you see the "Closed" sign at 2:00 PM, don't be surprised. It just means the tuna was good that day.
For a more sit-down vibe, Carruthers is fantastic. It’s got that old-school, dark-wood, brass-railings feel. Then there’s Peter Pan Market on the edge of town—the kind of place where you get a sandwich that weighs two pounds for a reasonable price.
The Goonies Factor: What People Get Wrong
We have to talk about it. Astoria is inextricably linked to The Goonies. Fans flock to the house, the jail (which is now the Oregon Film Museum), and the bowling alley.
But here’s the thing: locals have a love-hate relationship with it. For years, the owners of the Goonies house had to deal with thousands of people walking onto their porch, recreating scenes, and leaving trash. It got so bad they covered the house in blue tarps for a while. It’s open for viewing now, but you have to be respectful. Don't drive up there. Park down the hill and walk.
Astoria has been the backdrop for dozens of movies—Kindergarten Cop, Free Willy, The Ring Two. The town is a natural film set because it looks "real" in a way that many American towns have lost. It hasn't been scrubbed clean by corporate franchises. You’ll see more local hardware stores than big-box retailers.
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Practical Logistics for the Modern Traveler
Getting here is part of the experience. If you’re driving from Portland, you take Highway 30. It’s a two-hour winding road through timber country. Or, you take the "long way" through Seaside and Cannon Beach on Highway 101.
Where to stay:
- Bowline Hotel: It’s right on the water. You can hear the sea lions barking all night. Some people find it annoying; I think it’s the best white noise in the world.
- Hotel Elliott: A classic, restored hotel in the heart of downtown. The rooftop terrace is the best place for a sunset drink.
- Commodore Hotel: Minimalist, hip, and very central. It feels like something you'd find in Brooklyn, but with more driftwood.
When to go:
September and October are the secret "Golden Months." The summer crowds have thinned out, the air is crisp, and you often get "Indian Summer" days where the temperature is perfect. Avoid the dead of winter unless you really love horizontal rain and 40-degree winds. Though, honestly, there’s something cozy about being inside a pub like Fort George Brewery while a storm rages outside.
Actionable Steps for Your Visit
Don't just drive through. To actually "do" Astoria right, follow these steps:
- Walk the Riverwalk: It’s a 6-mile paved trail that follows the old railroad tracks. It’s flat, easy, and gives you the best perspective of the shipping industry. Catch the vintage "Old 300" trolley if it’s running—it costs a dollar and the conductors are usually full of local lore.
- Visit Fort Stevens State Park: It’s about 15 minutes outside of town. This is where you’ll find the Peter Iredale shipwreck. It’s a rusted skeleton of a ship sticking out of the sand. It’s the most photographed spot in the area for a reason.
- Check the tide tables: If you’re going to the beach to see the shipwreck, go at low tide. At high tide, the ship is mostly underwater and you’ll just be standing in the wind for no reason.
- Support the locals: Buy a book at Lucy’s Books or a record at Bach n’ Rock. These small businesses keep the town from becoming a tourist caricature.
- Cross the bridge: Even if you have no reason to go to Washington, drive across the Astoria-Megler Bridge once. It’s terrifyingly high and the view of the river mouth is staggering. Just keep your eyes on the road—the wind can be brutal up there.
Astoria isn't a place that tries to impress you. It just is what it is. It’s a town of fishermen, artists, loggers, and retirees who all share a common bond: they like living at the end of the road. It’s a place where the past isn't just remembered; it’s still being lived in every day. Whether you’re there for the nostalgia of a 1980s movie or the raw power of the Pacific, you’ll leave feeling like you’ve been somewhere that actually matters.