If you watched the early seasons of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you remember Ashlee Holmes. Or, as she was known back then during the peak of the Franklin Lakes chaos, Ashlee Holmes. She was the teenage daughter of Jacqueline Laurita, and honestly, she was the unofficial fifth housewife for a while there.
She wasn't just a background character. Ashlee was the epicenter of some of the show’s most visceral, "cringe-worthy" family drama. We saw the shouting matches. The "you’re grounded" threats that never stuck. The infamous hair-pulling incident at the country club involving Danielle Staub. It was raw. It was messy. And for Ashlee, it was all captured during those formative, awkward years when most of us are lucky enough to not have a camera crew documenting our worst moods.
But where is she now? People still Google Ashlee Real Housewives of New Jersey because they want to know if that rebellious kid ever found her footing.
The Reality TV Pressure Cooker and the "Villain" Edit
Reality TV in 2009 was a different beast. There wasn't much conversation about mental health or how filming affects a developing brain. Ashlee was essentially cast as the "rebellious daughter" archetype. Looking back, the tension between her and her mother, Jacqueline, felt painfully real because it was real. They were two people struggling to communicate, trapped in a cycle of high-stakes drama for the sake of a Bravo storyline.
The country club fight was the turning point. When Ashlee pulled Danielle Staub’s hair—or "yanked a square," as the fans joked—it moved from family bickering to legal threats. Danielle actually pressed charges. Ashlee ended up in court.
It's easy to judge a nineteen-year-old for acting out. It’s a lot harder to imagine having your most impulsive moments broadcast to millions. Ashlee has been open in recent years about how that period of her life wasn't just "bratty behavior." She was struggling. Deeply.
A Recent Diagnosis Changed Everything
For years, fans wondered why Ashlee seemed so "unmotivated" on the show. Remember the scenes where Jacqueline and Chris Laurita were trying to get her to work or move to the city? It was framed as laziness.
Fast forward to 2022. Ashlee shared something huge on her Instagram. She was officially diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.
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This changed the entire narrative of her time on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bipolar II isn't characterized by the extreme "manic" highs people often associate with the condition; instead, it involves periods of hypomania and long, crushing bouts of depression. When you re-watch those early seasons through this lens, her "lethargy" and emotional outbursts look less like rebellion and more like a young woman drowning in a chemical imbalance she didn't understand yet.
She spoke about how the diagnosis felt like a relief. Finally, there was a name for the "fog" she’d been living in.
"I was always so angry at myself for not being able to just 'be normal' or 'be productive' like everyone else," she told her followers.
Honestly, that’s a brave move. Most former reality stars try to scrub their image clean. Ashlee decided to explain the "why" behind the mess.
Marriage, Motherhood, and Moving On
Life didn't stop when the cameras went away. Ashlee eventually moved to California, then back to the East Coast. She got engaged to Pete Malleo, a guy who seemed to ground her in a way we hadn't seen before.
They had a son, Cameron. Seeing Ashlee as a mother was a total 180 for RHONJ fans. She was soft. She was attentive. She was navigating the world of parenting while also dealing with the public’s perception of her as "that girl from Jersey."
However, life isn't a scripted happy ending. In 2020, Ashlee and Pete announced their separation. They’ve been co-parenting ever since. It’s been a lesson in maturity that we never saw during her time on the show. No shouting matches on Twitter. No leaked stories to the press. Just two people trying to raise their kid.
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The Career Shift: Life After Bravo
What does a former "Housewife" kid do for a career? Ashlee went the creative route. She trained as a makeup artist—something she was always passionate about even during her filming days. She also leaned into the digital space.
She launched a podcast called Parenthood Etcetera. She started a lifestyle blog. But more importantly, she became a certified life coach.
Think about the irony there. The girl who was once the "problem child" of New Jersey is now helping other people navigate their emotional lives. It’s actually a pretty incredible pivot. She’s using her experiences—the public shaming, the mental health struggles, the divorce—to provide a perspective that most "perfect" influencers simply can't offer.
The Relationship with Jacqueline Today
The biggest question fans always have is: "Are she and Jacqueline okay?"
The answer is mostly yes, but it’s complicated. Like any mother-daughter duo who survived the reality TV trenches, they’ve had their ups and downs. When Jacqueline moved to Nevada to focus on her son Nicholas (who has autism), the physical distance changed the dynamic.
They aren't the constant sparring partners they used to be. They’ve grown up. Ashlee has often defended her mother on social media, especially when old RHONJ clips resurface. They seem to have reached a place of mutual respect, acknowledging that the show brought out the worst in their relationship.
Why We Are Still Obsessed with the Lauritas
The Laurita family represented something specific in the Real Housewives universe. Before the show became about "glam teams" and staged "sip and sees," it was about family units. The Lauritas felt like people you actually knew.
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Ashlee was the proxy for every parent's fear and every teenager's frustration. We watched her because she felt familiar. Her growth—or lack thereof at the time—was a mirror.
Today, she’s a different person. She’s unfiltered, sure. She still has that Jersey edge. But she’s also a mental health advocate who refuses to be defined by a hair-pulling incident from fifteen years ago.
Practical Insights for Navigating a "Public" Past
If you find yourself being defined by your past mistakes—whether on a smaller scale or a public one like Ashlee—there are a few takeaways from her journey:
- Own the Narrative: Don't wait for people to stop talking about your past. Address it, explain the context (like her Bipolar II diagnosis), and then move on.
- Seek Professional Clarity: Ashlee’s life changed when she got a clinical diagnosis. If you’re struggling with "laziness" or "anger," it might be a physiological issue rather than a character flaw.
- Prioritize Privacy Post-Chaos: Notice how Ashlee’s divorce was handled compared to her teenage years. You can choose what the world sees.
- Pivot to Service: Using your trauma to help others—as she did with life coaching—is the fastest way to turn a "villain edit" into a legacy of growth.
Ashlee Holmes Malleo isn't that girl in the country club anymore. She’s a woman who survived the meat grinder of early 2010s celebrity culture and came out the other side with her head held high.
To stay updated on her current projects, you can follow her journey through her social media platforms where she continues to advocate for mental health awareness and shares the realities of modern co-parenting. The best way to support her is to engage with her current work as a creator and coach rather than dwelling on the grainy footage of the past.
Understand that reality TV is a snapshot, not a biography. People change. Ashlee certainly did.