You’ve seen the photos from the 2020 Grammys. You saw the credits for the movie Wicked roll by with the name Ariana Grande-Butera splashed across the screen. If you’re a fan, you know that for a long time, Edward Butera was the ghost in Ariana’s story. He was the "drama" she thanked her mom for growing from in the lyrics of thank u, next.
Families are messy. Even when you're the biggest pop star on the planet.
Honestly, the relationship between Ariana Grande and her father is one of the most human things about her. It isn't a PR-managed fairy tale. It’s a decade-long saga of silence, resentment, and a very deliberate, forced reconciliation that finally stuck.
Who is Edward Butera?
Edward Charles Butera isn't just "the dad." He’s a guy with a serious creative streak. Born in 1958 in Maplewood, New Jersey, he eventually built a life in Florida as a graphic designer and photographer. He’s the founder of ibi designs, inc., a boutique creative studio based in Boca Raton.
He met Joan Grande in New York City in the early '90s. They married in 1992 and moved down to Florida while Joan was pregnant with Ariana. For about eight years, they were a unit. Edward was even a stepfather to Frankie Grande for over a decade. But by 2002, the marriage collapsed.
The divorce was the spark. But the real fire didn't start until much later.
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The 2013 Fallout
For years, they were fine. There are old photos of them painting together and fishing. But in 2013, something broke. To this day, neither of them has publicly spilled the exact tea on what caused the "estrangement."
Ariana was 20. She was transitioning from Nickelodeon kid to global superstar. In a 2014 interview with Seventeen, she admitted that falling out of touch with her dad was the hardest thing she’d ever dealt with. She said:
"It took me so long to be okay with it. The thing that got me there was embracing the fact that I am made up of half my dad, and a lot of my traits come from him. So much of me comes from my father, and for so long, I didn't like that about myself."
That’s a heavy realization for a twenty-something. Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing the face of someone you aren't even speaking to.
Rumors and Speculation
Because the "why" was kept private, the internet did what the internet does. People speculated. Some fans pointed to Edward's public Twitter account at the time, alleging he was "clout-chasing" or recording private phone calls with Ariana for live streams. Others brought up political differences—he’s a known Republican, while Ariana is famously progressive.
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Whatever it was, the silence lasted for years.
The "Forced" Reconciliation
Healing didn't just happen. Ariana didn't wake up one day and decide it was all okay.
By 2017, she’d had enough of the tension. In a 2025 interview on the WTF with Marc Maron podcast, she revealed that she literally "forced" her parents to communicate again. She was 24 at the time and basically told them to "figure it the f*** out."
It worked.
By Christmas 2018, she was posting FaceTime screenshots with him. By 2019, they were spending Thanksgiving together.
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The real "I’m back" moment for Edward Butera happened at the 2020 Grammys. He walked the red carpet with Ariana and Joan. It was a massive visual statement. The "drama" was over.
Why the name change in Wicked matters
When Wicked hit theaters in 2024, fans noticed something huge in the credits. She wasn't just Ariana Grande. She was Ariana Grande-Butera.
She told reporters it was her "little girl name." Using it wasn't just a nod to her childhood; it was a public reclamation of her father’s name. It’s the ultimate olive branch. You don't put a name you hate on the biggest project of your career.
In April 2025, she shared even more intimate glimpses. Her short film Brighter Days Ahead actually featured Edward. She posted a photo of him—sporting a bushy beard and long wavy hair for the role—planting a kiss on her forehead.
What we can learn from this
Ariana’s journey with her father is a masterclass in radical acceptance. She had to accept that she could love someone she didn't necessarily agree with or even like at times.
If you're dealing with a fractured family dynamic, here are a few takeaways from the Grande-Butera saga:
- Accept your DNA: You are half of your parents. Hating them often means hating a part of yourself. Reconciling with them is sometimes more about your own internal peace than their behavior.
- Boundaries are flexible: Estrangement doesn't have to be a life sentence. It’s okay to step away, and it’s okay to step back in when you have the "tools" (like therapy) to handle it.
- Direct communication is the only way: Ariana had to be the adult in the room and tell her parents to get over their 18-year-old drama. Sometimes, someone has to be the bridge.
The relationship isn't perfect—no family is—but it's functional. And for a pop star whose life is constantly under a microscope, that's a massive win.