It happens at every dinner party or casual hangout eventually. Someone starts waxing poetic about the "romance of the rails" or the engineering marvel of a 4-8-4 steam locomotive, and you just sort of... blink. You're sitting there thinking, are you not into trains, or am I the one missing a fundamental human gene?
It’s a weirdly polarizing topic.
For some, a train is just a loud, slightly damp metal tube that makes them late for work. For others, it’s a spiritual experience. But if you find yourself scrolling past those viral TikToks of the "Train Guy" (Francis Bourgeois) with a sense of utter confusion, you aren't alone. There is actually a lot of psychological and cultural baggage tied up in why some people obsess over locomotives while others couldn't care less if the entire rail network was replaced by teleportation pods tomorrow.
Honestly, the "train person" stereotype is so ingrained in our culture that feeling indifferent feels like a minor rebellion.
The Psychological Divide: Why "Are You Not Into Trains" Is Even a Question
Psychologists have actually looked into this. It’s not just about the machinery. Often, an intense interest in trains—specifically in childhood—is linked to a desire for order and predictability. Trains run on tracks. They have schedules (well, theoretically). They represent a closed system where everything has a place and a destination.
But what if your brain doesn't crave that specific type of order?
If you're more into the chaos of a city street or the unpredictability of a hiking trail, the rigid linearity of a train might feel stifling. It’s basically a cage on wheels. You don't steer. You don't choose the route. You're just cargo that breathes. For people who value autonomy, the train experience is a lesson in powerlessness.
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There's also the sensory aspect. Let’s be real: trains are loud. They squeal. They smell like ozone and old upholstery. For someone with sensory sensitivities, the "charm" of a vintage carriage is actually a nightmare of rattling windows and high-pitched metallic friction.
The "Romance" vs. The Reality of Modern Transit
We’ve all seen the movies. The Orient Express. Before Sunrise. The idea is that you'll meet a mysterious stranger while sipping wine in a dining car as the Swiss Alps blur past the window.
Then you get on a regional commuter rail in New Jersey.
The floors are sticky. The lighting is fluorescent and aggressive. There is a 100% chance someone is playing a video on their phone without headphones. When people ask, are you not into trains, they are usually thinking of the idealized, cinematic version of rail travel. They aren't thinking about the 6:15 AM slog from Reading to London Paddington where you're shoved against a door for forty-five minutes.
- The gap between the "Golden Age of Travel" and modern infrastructure is massive.
- In the US, decades of underfunding mean that unless you're on the Acela, you're likely moving slower than a car would on the highway.
- High-speed rail in Europe and Asia is a different beast entirely, but even then, it’s a utility, not a hobby for most.
British writer Simon Jenkins has written extensively about the "fetishization" of old railways, arguing that our obsession with preserving every rusty siding actually hinders us from building the modern transit we actually need. He’s got a point. Sometimes, the "train people" are so focused on the past that they make it harder to talk about the future of transportation.
Is It a Gender Thing or Just a Hobby Vacuum?
There is a long-standing trope that train spotting is a predominantly male hobby. While that’s changing—thanks to a more inclusive "transit nerd" community on platforms like Discord and Twitter—the historical data shows a heavy lean toward men of a certain age.
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Why? Maybe it’s the historical connection to "big engineering" and the industrial revolution. Maybe it’s just that guys were socially "allowed" to have hyper-specific, solitary hobbies for longer.
But if you’re a woman or a younger person and you're asked are you not into trains, the question might feel even weirder. It’s like being asked why you aren't into stamps or coins. It feels like a relic of a different era.
The Economics of Apathy
Let’s talk money. Rail travel is often more expensive than flying these days, especially in the UK and parts of the US.
If you have to pay $150 for a three-hour train ride when a budget flight is $40, the "magic" of the rails evaporates pretty quickly. For the average person, a train is a tool. You don't fall in love with your hammer, and you don't necessarily fall in love with the vehicle that gets you to a wedding in Ohio.
The people who are into trains often have the disposable income to treat it as a luxury experience. They’re booking the sleeper cars on the Rocky Mountaineer. They aren't trying to figure out if the "delayed" notification on the station board means they're going to miss their job interview.
When the Obsession Becomes "Transit Urbanism"
There is a new wave of train fans, though. They aren't the guys with binoculars at the end of the platform. They’re the "Urbanists."
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These folks love trains because they hate cars. They see trains as the solution to climate change, urban sprawl, and the loneliness epidemic. This is where the question are you not into trains takes on a political edge. If you say no, they might assume you’re a pro-car, anti-environmentalist who wants to pave over the Everglades for a parking lot.
It’s a lot of pressure for a mode of transport.
You can support public transit and want better infrastructure without wanting to watch a three-hour YouTube documentary on the history of the bogie. You can think trains are "fine" without making them your personality.
How to Handle the "Train Person" in Your Life
If you’re genuinely not into trains, but your partner, friend, or weird uncle is, you don't have to fake it.
You can appreciate the utility without the uproar.
The next time someone tries to show you a photo of a rare diesel locomotive, just remember that everyone has their "thing." For some, it's 19th-century poetry. For others, it's fantasy football. For them, it’s the way a wheel hits a switch.
Actionable Insights for the Train-Apathetic
- Acknowledge the utility: You don't have to love the engine to love the fact that you can read a book on your commute instead of staring at a bumper in traffic. Focus on the "time back" benefit.
- Set boundaries on the "nerd-out": It's okay to say, "I'm glad you're excited about the new rolling stock, but I don't really have the headspace for the technical details right now."
- Try a different "flavor" of rail: If you hate commuter trains, don't write off scenic tourist lines entirely. The experience of a glass-domed car in the mountains is objectively different from the New York Subway at rush hour.
- Separate the hobby from the policy: You can vote for better train funding because it helps the economy and the planet, even if you personally find trains boring. You don't have to be a fan to be a supporter.
At the end of the day, being "into" things is subjective. If the rhythm of the tracks doesn't soothe your soul, that's perfectly normal. We don't all have to be conductors at heart. Just let the train fans have their fun, as long as they don't block your view of the departure board.
The reality of modern life is that we're all just trying to get from point A to point B. Whether you do that with a sense of childlike wonder or a deep sense of "are we there yet?" doesn't really change the destination. Use the time you save by not obsessing over train models to do something you actually enjoy, like literally anything else.