Ever wonder what happens when you take a sitcom superstar at the height of his fame, drop him into a World War II drag comedy, and then basically forget to write the jokes? Well, you get the all the queen's men film. It’s one of those projects that sounds like a fever dream. Matt LeBlanc—yes, Joey from Friends—plays a rugged American soldier who has to lead a team of spies into Berlin. The catch? They have to do it in high heels and wigs because the Enigma machine factory is staffed entirely by women.
Honestly, the premise isn't even the weirdest part.
What makes this movie a true 2000s relic is the sheer tonal whiplash. One minute, you’ve got Eddie Izzard doing a Marlene Dietrich-style cabaret number for a room full of Nazis. The next, the movie tries to get all serious and "preachy" about the horrors of war and the trauma of seeing people die. It’s a mess. A $15 million mess that only made about $23,000 at the U.S. box office. You read that right. Twenty-three thousand. That's not a typo; it’s a catastrophe.
The Plot: Drag Queens and Decoders
The year is 1944. The British are desperate for an Enigma machine. They’ve tried the usual way, and it hasn't worked. So, they recruit Steven O'Rourke (LeBlanc), a guy nicknamed "Agent Almost" because he never quite finishes a mission. He’s joined by Tony Parker (Eddie Izzard), an actual drag artist who was kicked out of the army for being gay. Then there’s Johnno, a young codebreaker, and Archie, an older major played by James Cosmo.
They train for about five minutes on how to put on lipstick and walk in pumps before being dropped into Berlin.
Why the plan was doomed
Once they’re in Germany, the movie kinda loses its mind. They meet Romy, a librarian and resistance contact who apparently lives in a loft right under a skylight that’s perfect for eavesdropping. Convenient, right?
The all the queen's men film struggles because it can’t decide if it wants to be Some Like It Hot or Saving Private Ryan. You’ve got Matt LeBlanc trying to play the straight man (literally and figuratively) while looking absolutely nothing like a woman. His voice—which critics at the time compared to Sylvester Stallone’s—doesn't exactly scream "factory worker."
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- The Cast: Matt LeBlanc, Eddie Izzard, Nicolette Krebitz, James Cosmo.
- The Director: Stefan Ruzowitzky (who actually went on to win an Oscar for The Counterfeiters later, which is wild).
- The Budget: $15,000,000.
- The Reality: A 7% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
What Went Wrong with the All the Queen's Men Film?
Critics were brutal. Roger Ebert basically said the movie was "dead in the water." Most people pointed to the casting as the biggest hurdle. LeBlanc was so tied to his Friends persona that seeing him in a wig felt less like a character and more like a "The One Where Joey Goes to Berlin" sketch that went on for two hours.
There's also the historical "oopsie." By 1944, the Allies already had Enigma machines. The movie tries to explain this away with a last-minute plot twist about a different kind of machine, but by then, most of the audience had already checked out. It feels like the script was written in the late 80s, sat in a drawer for fifteen years, and then got dusted off without anyone checking if the history (or the humor) still held up.
The film also misses a huge opportunity with its queer themes. You have Eddie Izzard, a pioneer for trans and gender-nonconforming people, playing a character who is actually lived-in and interesting. But the movie keeps pushing him to the side to focus on LeBlanc’s romantic subplot with the librarian.
The Box Office Disaster
If you want to talk about a flop, this is the gold standard. Opening in only 17 theaters in the U.S., it barely made enough to pay for the popcorn. It’s rare to see a movie with a $15 million budget disappear so completely. It didn't even find a cult following on DVD.
Usually, "bad" movies become camp classics. Think Showgirls or The Room. But the all the queen's men film is just... there. It’s too polished to be "so bad it’s good" but too misguided to be actually good. It’s a middle-of-the-road stumble that serves as a cautionary tale for stars trying to break out of sitcom molds too fast.
Where can you see it now?
If you're a glutton for punishment or a completionist for Matt LeBlanc’s career, you can occasionally find it on obscure streaming services or in the $1 bin at a physical media shop. It’s a fascinating look at a time when Hollywood thought "men in dresses" was a sufficient punchline for an entire feature film.
Actionable Insights for Film Buffs
If you're planning on diving into this era of comedy, here's the best way to handle it:
- Watch it for Eddie Izzard: Honestly, Izzard is the only one who seems to understand the assignment. Her performance has flashes of actual heart that the rest of the movie lacks.
- Compare it to The Counterfeiters: If you want to see what director Stefan Ruzowitzky is actually capable of, watch his 2007 film about the Holocaust. It's night and day compared to this.
- Lower your expectations: Go in expecting a weird, 2002-era time capsule. Don't look for historical accuracy regarding the Enigma machine; you won't find it here.
- Check out the 2021 series: Just to clear up any confusion, there is a Tyler Perry-produced show with the same name. It has absolutely nothing to do with this WWII movie. If you’re looking for male strippers and crime drama, go for the show. If you want Matt LeBlanc in a dress, stick to the film.
The all the queen's men film remains a strange footnote in cinema history. It’s a reminder that a great "high-concept" idea—spies in drag—requires more than just a famous face to actually work on the big screen.