You know that prickle on the back of your neck when you walk into a room and just know something is off? Or that sudden, inexplicable lightness when you finally quit the job that looked perfect on paper but felt like a slow-motion car crash? We spend years trying to rationalize our lives. We make spreadsheets. We weigh pros and cons. We ask our therapists why we can't just "get it together." But then, usually in a moment of quiet or total crisis, the truth hits: all along it was a feeling that was trying to tell you the answer.
Logic is great for taxes. It’s terrible for the soul.
The reality is that human intuition isn't some mystical, "woo-woo" magic trick. It's high-speed data processing. Your brain is constantly scanning your environment, picking up on micro-expressions, shifts in tone, and subtle environmental cues that your conscious mind is too busy to notice because it's preoccupied with checking emails. When we say "it was a feeling," we’re actually describing a complex neurobiological event. It’s your somatic marker system—a concept famously explored by neuroscientist Antonio Damasio—firing off a warning or a green light before you’ve even had time to form a sentence.
The Science of Why All Along It Was a Feeling
It’s easy to dismiss a vibe as "just emotions." That’s a mistake. In the 1990s, Damasio conducted the Iowa Gambling Task, a study that changed how we view decision-making. Participants were given four decks of cards. Some decks were "good" (small wins, small losses) and some were "bad" (huge wins but even bigger losses).
The wild part?
The participants started showing physical signs of stress—like sweaty palms—when reaching for the "bad" decks long before they consciously realized the decks were rigged. Their bodies knew the score after about ten cards. Their conscious brains didn't catch on until card eighty. For those seventy cards in between, they were operating on a hunch. All along it was a feeling guiding them away from disaster, even while they were still trying to figure out the "logic" of the game.
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This is why you feel "heavy" when you're around certain people. It isn't just "energy" in the spiritual sense; it's your brain recognizing patterns of behavior, perhaps a lack of congruence between what someone says and how they move. We are biological machines designed for survival, and survival depends on the "vibe check."
Why We Fight the Feeling
Society hates feelings. We’re taught from a very young age that if you can’t prove it with a graph or a "logical" reason, it’s not valid. "Because I don't feel right about it" is rarely accepted as a reason to break a contract or end a relationship. So, we bury it. We tell ourselves we’re being "anxious" or "difficult."
But look at the stories of people who survived major disasters or avoided life-altering mistakes. Often, they describe a moment where they just stopped. They didn't know why. They just felt they had to turn around. Author Gavin de Becker discusses this extensively in The Gift of Fear. He argues that true intuition is a survival signal. It's the most sophisticated tool we have, yet we spend our lives trying to blunt it so we don't seem "irrational."
It's actually quite funny when you think about it. We trust a GPS that’s three years out of date more than we trust a nervous system that has been evolving for millions of years.
Distinguishing Between Anxiety and Intuition
This is where it gets tricky. How do you know if it’s a legitimate "feeling" or just your garden-variety Generalized Anxiety Disorder acting up because you had too much espresso?
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There’s a distinct difference in the "texture" of the experience.
- Anxiety is loud. It’s repetitive. It’s usually focused on the "what if." It’s a frantic, circular conversation in your head that leaves you feeling exhausted and paralyzed. It’s "What if they hate me?" or "What if I fail?"
- Intuition—that "all along it was a feeling" sensation—is usually quiet. It’s a cold, hard fact that sits in your stomach. It doesn’t scream; it just is. It’s a "This isn't for me" or "Something is wrong here." It’s often surprisingly calm, even if the news it’s delivering is bad.
I’ve talked to dozens of people who stayed in bad marriages for a decade. Every single one of them said the same thing: "I knew on the wedding day." They didn't have a logical reason to leave. Their partner was "fine." The catering was paid for. But they felt a weight. They ignored it because feelings aren't "facts." Except, in the end, that feeling was the most factual thing in the room.
The Role of the Second Brain
We have to talk about the gut-brain axis. You have roughly 100 million neurons in your gastrointestinal tract. That’s more than in your spinal cord. This "second brain" communicates directly with your actual brain via the vagus nerve.
When you say you have a "gut feeling," you aren't being metaphorical. Your gut is literally reacting to your environment. It’s why you get "butterflies" before a big speech or why you lose your appetite when you’re grieving. It’s a physical manifestation of an emotional reality. If you find yourself constantly dealing with "mystery" stomach issues in a specific environment—like a toxic office—it’s probably not the coffee. It’s the fact that all along it was a feeling trying to manifest as a physical symptom because you weren't listening to the quiet version.
Redefining "Success" Through a Felt Sense
We live in a metrics-driven world. We track our steps, our calories, our productivity, and our ROI. But we rarely track our "felt sense."
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The philosopher Eugene Gendlin developed a process called "Focusing" in the 1960s and 70s. He noticed that the most successful therapy patients weren't the ones who were the smartest or the most articulate. They were the ones who would pause and check in with their bodies. They’d say things like, "I’m not sure how to describe it, but there’s a tight feeling in my chest when I talk about my father."
They were tapping into the "all along it was a feeling" frequency. By acknowledging the physical sensation first, they were able to unlock the cognitive realization later. If you want to actually change your life, you have to start paying attention to the somatic data.
- Pay attention to your posture. Are you shrinking?
- Notice your breath. Is it shallow?
- Check your jaw. Is it clenched?
These are the breadcrumbs leading you back to the truth you've been hiding from yourself.
Actionable Steps to Reconnect with Your Intuition
If you've spent twenty years ignoring your gut, you can't just flip a switch and expect it to be a clear channel. It’s like a muscle that has atrophied. You have to train it.
- Start with low-stakes decisions. When you’re at a restaurant, don't look at the menu for ten minutes. Close your eyes for three seconds and ask your body what it wants. Don't think about calories or price. Just feel the answer. The more you "win" at small intuitive hits, the more you’ll trust yourself when the stakes are high.
- The "Two Paths" Visualization. If you’re stuck on a major choice, sit quietly. Imagine path A. Don't think about the money or the logic. How does your body feel? Does it feel expansive or constricted? Then imagine path B. Same thing. Your body will usually give you a clear "yes" or "no" long before your brain finishes its pros-and-cons list.
- Audit your "shoulds." Whenever you say "I should do this," stop. Usually, "should" is the language of external logic. Replace it with "I feel." If you say "I feel like I want to stay home," but your brain says "I should go to the party," you’re creating internal friction. Try honoring the feeling just once and see what happens.
- Practice silence. We are constantly bombarded with noise—podcasts, music, social media. This drowns out the quiet "all along it was a feeling" signals. Try ten minutes a day of total silence. No phone. No distractions. Let the feelings surface. It might be uncomfortable at first, but that’s where the data is.
Trusting a feeling isn't about being impulsive or reckless. It's about acknowledging that your conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg. The real work of living—the decisions that actually matter—happens beneath the surface. Stop waiting for a "logical" reason to do what you already know you need to do. The feeling is reason enough.
Next Steps for Implementation
- Conduct a "Vibe Audit": List the three most stressful areas of your life (e.g., a specific project, a relationship, a habit). Spend two minutes focusing purely on the physical sensation that arises when you think of each. Write down the first three words that describe that feeling—no filtering.
- The 24-Hour Intuition Test: For the next day, commit to following your first "gut instinct" on any decision that takes less than five minutes (choosing a route to work, picking a snack, deciding which email to answer first). Note how often that initial feeling was correct versus your second-guessed "logical" choice.
- Document the "Aha" Moments: Keep a simple note on your phone for one week. Every time you realize you were "right all along" about a situation, jot down what the initial feeling was. Identifying the specific "flavor" of your intuition makes it easier to recognize in real-time next time.