You’re in a crowded pub. The floor is slightly sticky. Suddenly, the opening acoustic strums of a 1970s soft-rock classic drift through the speakers. "Sally called when she got the word..." the lead singer rasps. Everyone knows what’s coming. The room takes a collective breath. And then, right after the name "Alice" hits the air, a hundred people scream at the top of their lungs: "Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?!"
It’s one of the most bizarre phenomenons in music history. How did a gentle, somewhat melancholic song about unrequited love and a neighbor moving away become the ultimate profanity-laden anthem? It wasn't an accident. It was a perfect storm of Dutch bar culture, a foul-mouthed comedian, and a band that realized they could make a second fortune by leaning into a joke.
The Birth of the "Alice Who the F is Alice Smokie" Phenomenon
Before it was a scream-along, it was a hit for Smokie in 1976. But even then, Smokie didn't write it. "Living Next Door to Alice" was actually penned by the legendary songwriting duo Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman—the same guys who wrote for Suzi Quatro and Mud. An Australian band called New World recorded it first in 1972, but it barely made a dent.
When Smokie got their hands on it, Chris Norman’s gravelly vocals turned it into a global smash. It topped charts in Germany, Austria, and the Netherlands. The lyrics are actually kind of sad. A guy has lived next to a girl for 24 years, never told her he loved her, and now she’s leaving in a limousine. His friend Sally tries to swoop in for a rebound, but he’s too heartbroken to notice.
For nearly twenty years, that was the song. A sentimental soft-rock staple. Then things got weird in the Netherlands.
The Cafe Gompie Incident
The shift from "sad ballad" to "bar anthem" started in a cafe called Gompie in Nijmegen. It was 1995. The DJ, Onno Pelser, had a habit of playing the Smokie version. During the pause in the chorus, the regulars started shouting the now-famous line. Why? Honestly, probably just because it fit the beat and it was funny to shout "fuck" in a quiet moment.
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Rob Peters, a record company director, happened to be in the bar one night. He saw the crowd reaction and realized he was sitting on a goldmine. He called his friend, singer Peter Koelewijn, and they recorded a cover under the name Gompie.
The song, titled "Alice (Who the X is Alice?)", went straight to number one in the Netherlands and Belgium. It was a massive novelty hit across Europe. Suddenly, the "official" version of the song included the profanity that had previously only existed in dark, beer-soaked corners of Dutch pubs.
Smokie Fights Back (With Roy Chubby Brown)
Most bands would be annoyed if a novelty act hijacked their biggest hit. Smokie? They were smarter than that. Seeing the Gompie version climbing the charts, the band decided to reclaim the throne.
They teamed up with the notorious British "blue" comedian Roy Chubby Brown. If you aren't familiar with Chubby Brown, he’s famous for a flying helmet and a comedy routine so offensive it’s banned from most mainstream venues. He was the perfect person to provide the "shout."
In 1995, they released "Living Next Door to Alice (Who the Fk Is Alice?)" featuring Smokie and Roy Chubby Brown**.
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It was a stroke of marketing genius.
- It reached number 3 on the UK Singles Chart.
- It gave the band their first top-ten hit in nearly two decades.
- It solidified the profane version as the definitive "live" way to experience the song.
What's really funny is that Smokie became the first band to ever land a Top 10 hit in the UK that featured the word "fuck" in the lyrics. They didn't just embrace the joke; they broke a chart record with it.
Why Does This Song Still Work?
You'd think a 50-year-old song with a 30-year-old joke attached would be dead by now. It isn't. You still hear it at weddings, Oktoberfests, and sporting events.
There's a psychological element to it. Music experts often point to the "call and response" nature of the track. The song provides a perfect four-beat gap. It’s an invitation. Even people who don't like the song can't resist the urge to yell the response.
Kinda like "Sweet Caroline" and the "Ba-ba-ba!"—except with more swearing.
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The Meaning People Miss
Despite the shouting, the song is actually a masterclass in songwriting. Mike Chapman once said he was inspired by Dr. Hook’s "Sylvia’s Mother." He wanted that same feeling of a guy losing his chance.
When you look at the lyrics, the character Sally is the real hero. She tells the narrator, "Alice is gone, but I’m still here / You know I’ve been waiting twenty-four years." She’s been in the same boat as him the whole time! But he’s so obsessed with Alice—who is literally just a "neighbor"—that he ignores the person right in front of him.
The profane shout "Who the fuck is Alice?" actually adds a weird layer of irony to the story. It’s like the audience is collectively telling the narrator to snap out of it. Like, who is this girl anyway? Why are you so hung up on her?
How to Experience the Song Today
If you want to hear it the "right" way, you have a few options.
- The 1976 Original: Best for a nostalgic drive. No shouting, just pure Chris Norman rasp.
- The 1995 Roy Chubby Brown Version: This is the high-energy, "official" profanity version.
- The Gompie Version: If you want that specific 90s Euro-dance-pop feel.
- Live: Smokie is still touring. Terry Uttley was the last original member until his passing in 2021, but the band carries on the legacy. They know exactly what the crowd wants to hear.
Basically, the song has evolved into a piece of folk culture. It’s no longer just a recording; it’s a ritual.
Next time you’re at a bar and those first chords start, don't fight it. Just wait for the gap. You know what to do.
Practical Next Steps for Fans:
- Check out the rest of the Midnight Café album. It’s actually a solid piece of 70s rock that goes deeper than just the Alice hit.
- Watch a live performance video of the band from the 90s to see just how much they enjoyed the Roy Chubby Brown era.
- If you’re ever in Nijmegen, look for the site of the original Cafe Gompie; it’s the unofficial birthplace of a legend.