You probably think you know who you are. You’ve got a name, a Social Security number, a job title, and a specific set of neuroses that make you "you." But Alan Watts spent a huge chunk of his career trying to convince us that this version of ourselves—the "ego in a bag of skin"—is actually a massive, culturally reinforced lie.
It’s a hoax.
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Watts published The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are in 1966, and honestly, it’s more relevant now than it was during the Summer of Love. We live in an age of hyper-individualism where we're constantly told to "find ourselves" or "build our brand." Watts argues that this very quest is the problem. We’ve been conditioned to believe we are separate entities from the universe, lonely little islands of consciousness tossed into a hostile world.
He calls this the "taboo." It’s the unspoken rule that you must never, ever realize that you are actually the entire works.
The Big Lie of the "Separate Ego"
Most of us feel like we’re a chauffeur sitting inside our heads, driving our bodies around. We "have" a body; we aren’t one. This sense of being a detached observer is what Watts describes as a hallucination.
Why is it a taboo? Because society as we know it would basically collapse if everyone realized they weren't just a cog in the machine. Our entire economic and social structure is built on the idea of the "individual" who needs to compete, consume, and eventually die. If you suddenly felt—not just thought, but felt—that you were the same energy that moves the stars and grows the grass, you might stop buying things you don't need or working jobs you hate.
That’s dangerous.
In The Book, Watts breaks down how this starts in childhood. Parents and teachers tell us to "behave," as if there’s a little person inside who can control the biological organism. We’re taught to define ourselves by our differences rather than our connections. You are "not-that" and "not-him." This creates a deep-seated anxiety. We feel like we’re on the outside looking in.
Alan Watts on the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are and the Game of Hide-and-Seek
Watts was heavily influenced by the Vedanta philosophy of Hinduism, specifically the concept of Lila, or divine play. He suggests that the universe is basically playing a game of hide-and-seek with itself.
Think about it this way.
If you were God and you could dream any dream you wanted, you’d eventually get bored with being omnipotent. You’d dream of adventures, of love, of danger. Finally, you’d dream the most daring dream of all: you’d dream you were you. You’d hide your true nature so well that you’d actually believe you were a struggling human being with bills to pay and a finite lifespan.
The "taboo" is the mechanism that keeps the game going.
If we all woke up at once, the play would be over. The curtain would fall. So, we maintain the illusion. We pretend that we are separate. We talk about "conquering" nature, which Watts pointed out is as ridiculous as a brain trying to conquer the heart. You can’t conquer the thing you depend on for survival.
When people talk about Alan Watts on the taboo against knowing who you are, they often miss the humor in it. Watts wasn't a dour moralist. He was a "philosophical entertainer." He wanted us to see the cosmic joke. We are the universe pretending to be a person named Karen or Dave, and we’re doing a really, really convincing job of it.
The Survival Myth and the Fear of Death
One of the reasons the taboo is so strong is our paralyzing fear of death. Because we think we’re just this little meat-robot, the end of the robot feels like the end of everything.
Watts flips this.
He argues that death is just the "other side" of life, like the back of a coin. You can’t have a "here" without a "there." If you realize that your true self isn't the ego but the entire process of existence, death stops being a catastrophe. It’s just the universe taking a breath.
He used the analogy of a wave. A wave is something the ocean does. When the wave hits the shore and disappears, the ocean hasn’t gone anywhere. The wave was just a temporary wiggle. We are wiggles of the universe.
Why We Fight Against the Truth
It’s uncomfortable.
People get angry when you suggest they aren't who they think they are. We’ve invested so much time and energy into our "personalities." We’ve built careers, reputations, and social media profiles. To admit that the "ego" is a social construct feels like a kind of suicide.
But it’s actually a liberation.
When you stop trying to "be" someone, you can finally just be. You stop struggling against the flow of life and start moving with it. This isn't about being passive or lazy; it’s about acting from a place of wholeness rather than a place of lack.
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Breaking the Taboo: Real-World Steps
So, how do you actually apply this? It’s not about joining a cult or sitting on a mountain for twenty years. It’s a shift in perspective.
- Audit your language. Notice how often you say "I" and "me" as if you’re something separate from your environment. Start noticing how "you" are actually an interaction between your body, the air you breathe, the food you eat, and the people you talk to.
- Stop the "self-improvement" treadmill. Watts famously said, "Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." You are already it. Stop trying to become a "better" version of a ghost.
- Practice "focused-unfocus." Look at a tree or a cloud without trying to name it or categorize it. Just witness the process. Realize that your watching is part of the process itself.
- Acknowledge the game. Next time you’re stressed about work or social status, remind yourself: "I am playing a role." It takes the weight off. You can play the game better when you know it's a game.
Watts didn’t want followers. He wanted people to wake up from the collective trance. The taboo is powerful, but it's also fragile. Once you see through the illusion of the separate self, you can never quite un-see it. You realize that you aren't a stranger in the world; you are the world looking at itself.
There is nothing to find, nowhere to go, and nobody you need to become. You are already the "which than which there is no whicher."
Next Steps for Deepening Your Understanding:
- Read the Original Text: Pick up a copy of The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. It’s short, punchy, and avoids the dense jargon of typical philosophy.
- Listen to the Archives: The Alan Watts Organization has preserved hundreds of his lectures. Hearing his voice—specifically his laugh—helps convey the "cosmic joke" aspect that text often misses.
- Engage in "Wu Wei": Practice the Taoist concept of "effortless action." Spend one afternoon doing exactly what you feel like doing, without a schedule or a goal, and observe how the "ego" tries to fight back with guilt.