You know Al Pacino as the guy who never settles down. He’s the ultimate Hollywood bachelor, the guy who's been with some of the most iconic women in the world—Diane Keaton, Beverly D’Angelo, Lucila Solá—and yet, he’s never actually walked down the aisle. But there’s one name that usually gets lost in the shuffle of his legendary dating history, and honestly, she’s the one who came the closest to actually making him a married man.
Kathleen Quinlan. If you're a movie buff, you know her from Apollo 13 or I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. She’s got that grounded, soulful energy that feels worlds away from the high-octane intensity Pacino is known for. And maybe that’s why they worked. For a few years between 1979 and 1981, they weren't just a "Hollywood couple." They were serious. Like, "buying a ring" serious.
Pacino recently spilled the beans about this in his 2024 memoir, Sonny Boy. It turns out, of all the women he’s loved, Kathleen was the one who nearly broke his streak.
The "Pain Train" and the Proposal That Never Was
Pacino has this weird, almost visceral fear of marriage. He calls it the "entrance to the pain train." Kind of a dark way to look at a wedding, right?
He met Kathleen at a party hosted by acting legend Lee Strasberg. This was New York in the late '70s. Pacino was already a god-tier actor, but he was struggling. He was drinking heavily back then, trying to navigate the madness of post-Godfather fame. Kathleen became his "comfort."
They were together for about two years. It wasn't just a fling. They traveled through Europe. They lived a real life together. But Kathleen knew what she wanted. She wanted the commitment. She wanted the "I do."
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Pacino, being Al, just couldn't do it.
"My time with Kathleen was the closest I’ve ever come to getting married," he wrote. "But it wasn’t easy to say no to marriage with a woman I loved."
Think about that. He loved her. He admits it. But the idea of the legal contract, the "inevitable" pain he associated with marriage, kept him at the station. He basically stayed on the platform while her train pulled away.
Why Kathleen Quinlan Was Different
Most people talk about Diane Keaton when they talk about Pacino’s "one that got away." And sure, Keaton gave him an ultimatum, but the vibe with Quinlan seemed different. It was quieter. Less performative.
While Pacino was filming Scarface—a role that famously drained him and turned him into a bit of a monster on set—Kathleen was the person he came home to. She was the one who kept him sane while he was snorting fake cocaine and screaming about "little friends."
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When she eventually left because he wouldn't commit, it didn't just roll off his back. It hurt. He’s been pretty open about the fact that he carried that hurt for years. It’s one of those rare moments where you see the vulnerability behind the "Hoo-ah!" persona.
Where are they now?
Life moved on. As it does.
Kathleen Quinlan didn't wait around for Al to change his mind. She went on to have a massive career and a full life. She married artist Warren Long (briefly) and later actor Bruce Abbott. She got the family and the stability she was looking for.
Pacino? He stayed Pacino. He had kids with Jan Tarrant and Beverly D’Angelo. He most recently had a son, Roman, with Noor Alfallah in 2023. At 85, he’s still the bachelor.
The Legacy of a "Failed" Romance
Is a relationship a failure if it doesn't end in marriage? Probably not.
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Pacino and Quinlan are actually still friends today. That says a lot. In a town where breakups usually involve lawyers and nasty tabloid leaks, they managed to keep a bond that lasted four decades.
He still speaks about her with this genuine reverence. It’s almost like he’s looking back at a version of his life that could have happened—the quiet life, the steady life—and realizing he just wasn't built for it.
If you’re looking for a deep dive into Pacino’s psyche, his relationship with Kathleen is the key. It’s the moment he realized he would always choose his independence over "the pain train," even if it meant losing someone he truly loved.
To really understand the nuance of this era in Hollywood history, you should check out Pacino’s own words in Sonny Boy. It’s a messy, honest look at why some people are just meant to be solo acts. You can also track Kathleen Quinlan’s career through her 90s peak in films like A Civil Action to see how she carved out a legacy entirely separate from her famous ex.
Keep an eye on the upcoming 2026 retrospective screenings of Scarface; many critics are now re-evaluating that performance through the lens of Pacino’s personal turmoil at the time—much of which was anchored by his relationship with Quinlan.