You’re staring at a 70-ton beast of depleted uranium and steel. It’s got a 120mm smoothbore cannon capable of turning a concrete bunker into gravel from two miles away. And then, you see them. Two massive, shaking, plastic googly eyes staring back at you from the turret.
It's ridiculous. It's totally absurd.
Yet, images of the M1 Abrams with googly eyes have been circulating across social media, from Telegram channels in Eastern Europe to the depths of Reddit's r/TankPorn. If you’ve been following the conflict in Ukraine or just hang out in military history circles, you've probably seen these "derp tanks" pop up. It’s not a one-off joke either; it's a weirdly consistent phenomenon that says a lot about the people inside the machines.
What's the Deal With Tanks Having Faces?
Human beings are wired to find faces in everything. We call it pareidolia. We see the Man in the Moon, we see Jesus on a piece of burnt toast, and we definitely see "eyes" in the optical sensors of a main battle tank.
Honestly, the Abrams is practically built for this. The way the Gunner's Primary Sight (GPS) and the Commander’s Independent Thermal Viewer (CITV) are positioned on the turret gives the tank a natural, albeit boxy, face. On the older Russian T-90, the Shtora-1 infrared dazzlers literally look like glowing red eyes when they’re active. They're meant to jam incoming missiles, but they ended up giving the tank a "death stare" that became legendary in the gaming community.
The Abrams doesn't have those glowing red boxes. It looks a bit more stoic. More "industrial."
So, soldiers decided to fix that. By slapping oversized crafting supplies onto the front of the turret, they transform a terrifying instrument of war into something that looks like it belongs in a Pixar movie. It’s a jarring contrast. You have this Honeywell AGT1500 gas turbine engine screaming like a jet at 1,500 horsepower, and then you have these eyes just... wobbling.
Why Do Soldiers Actually Do This?
War is heavy. Like, soul-crushingly heavy.
Soldiers have been humanizing their equipment since the first guy painted a name on a chariot. In WWII, it was "nose art" on B-17 bombers. In Vietnam, it was slogans scribbled on Zippo lighters and M1 helmets. Today, it’s googly eyes on high-tech armor.
The Psychology of the "Derp"
There’s a specific kind of gallows humor involved here. By making the tank look silly, the crew is reclaimimg a bit of their own humanity. It’s hard to stay paralyzed by the grim reality of a front-line trench when your multibillion-dollar support vehicle looks like it’s confused about where it parked.
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It’s also about bonding. A tank crew is four people: commander, gunner, loader, and driver. They live, eat, and sleep in a space about the size of a walk-in closet. Giving the tank a "personality" with googly eyes makes it a fifth member of the team. It’s not just "Hull Number 1234," it’s the big, stupid guy looking out for them.
Tactical... Morale?
You won't find "googly eyes" in any Field Manual. No general is going to stand at a podium and say that $20 worth of plastic increases combat effectiveness. But morale is a real metric. When Ukrainian crews started receiving Western armor, the pressure to perform was immense. The eyes became a way to signal: “Yeah, we have the most advanced tank in the world, but we’re still the same guys who grew up on the internet.”
The Ukraine Connection: Where the Meme Met the Mud
The "Abrams with googly eyes" trend really caught fire as M1A1 SA (Situational Awareness) variants began arriving in Ukraine. The Ukrainian military has a very "online" culture. They’ve pioneered the use of memes for fundraising and international awareness.
We saw it first with the Leopard 2 tanks. People were photoshopping "Flork" characters (those little sock-puppet-looking guys) onto photos of the tanks. When the Abrams finally hit the field, the googly eyes were the next logical step.
It wasn’t just a digital edit, though.
Real photos emerged of tanks in the field—covered in "Kontakt-1" explosive reactive armor (ERA) bricks—sporting those big, wiggly pupils. It's a fascinatng mix of Cold War tech and 21st-century internet humor. You have the most sophisticated composite armor on the planet, and then you have a piece of plastic held on by some heavy-duty adhesive or a magnet.
Is This "Psychological Warfare"?
Some people like to claim that the eyes are there to "confuse the enemy" or "scare them."
Let’s be real: no Russian drone operator is going to see googly eyes through a grainy thermal feed and think, "Oh no, a giant googly monster!" They’re going to see a heat signature and try to hit it with a Lancet.
The psychological effect is internal. It’s for the guys on the same side.
In the 2024 "eyebombing" trend in Boston, people put googly eyes on subway trains to make commuters feel better about delays. It’s the same logic, just with much higher stakes. If a tank looks friendly to the infantry it’s supporting, it builds a weird kind of trust. It makes the machine feel less like a "scary robot" and more like a protector.
A Long History of "Eyes" on Machines
This isn't actually new. During WWI, British tank crews would sometimes paint eyes on their "Landships" to help them look more like monsters. In the 1970s and 80s, shark teeth were common on the nose of A-10 Warthogs.
What’s different now is the vibe.
Old-school military art was meant to look "badass." It was about intimidation. Googly eyes are the opposite. They’re meant to look incompetent. They’re meant to look "derpy." It’s a subversion of the traditional military aesthetic. It says, "I am dangerous, but I am also a joke."
The Technical Reality: Does It Break Anything?
Technically? Probably not.
As long as the eyes aren’t covering the actual optics—the lenses the gunner uses to see—the tank doesn't care. The M1 Abrams is a rugged machine. It's designed to operate in sandstorms, mud, and chemical environments. A couple of plastic circles aren't going to clog the air filters or jam the turret ring.
However, "field modifications" are usually a headache for officers. Strict commanders might see it as "unprofessional" or a violation of camouflage protocols. An Abrams is usually painted in "Chemical Agent Resistant Coating" (CARC) to reduce its IR signature. Sticking a bright white plastic circle on the front is, theoretically, a tiny lighthouse for enemy sensors.
But in the chaos of a high-intensity conflict, those "parade ground" rules usually go out the window. If the crew wants eyes, they’re getting eyes.
How to Get the Look (For Scale Modelers)
If you’re a hobbyist and want to recreate the Abrams with googly eyes look, don't just buy the first pack you see at the craft store.
- Scale matters: For a 1/35 scale model, you want eyes that are roughly 10mm to 15mm in diameter.
- Weathering: Even googly eyes get dirty. If your tank is covered in mud, your eyes should be too. Use a little "Tamiya Panel Line Accent" around the edges to make them look like they've been in a trench.
- Placement: Most crews put them on the "cheeks" of the turret—the sloping front armor plates. This maximizes the "face" effect.
What This Tells Us About Modern War
The Abrams with googly eyes is more than just a funny picture. It's a reminder that no matter how much technology we put on the battlefield—AI-driven targeting, satellite links, drone swarms—war is still fought by humans.
Humans are weird. We make jokes in the face of death. We put eyes on things that kill.
The next time you see a photo of a multi-million dollar tank looking like it just saw a ghost, don't just laugh. Realize that somewhere, a tank crew is trying to make it through another day with their sense of humor intact. That’s probably the most powerful armor they have.
Next Steps for Tank Enthusiasts:
- Research the M1A1 SA: Look into why the "Situational Awareness" variant was the specific model sent to Ukraine. It has specific sensor upgrades that make the "face" of the tank look the way it does.
- Check out the "Flork of Cows" memes: If you want to understand the visual language of the Ukraine tank meme, search for the Flork ERA meme. It explains the "slap armor on everything" joke that led to the googly eyes.
- Study the "Shtora-1": Compare the Abrams' "eyes" to the Russian T-90’s actual optical jammers to see the difference between a functional "eye" and a decorative one.