We are all chasing it. That feeling of "finally arriving." You know the one—the belief that if you just get the promotion, the house, or the perfect partner, you’ll hit a plateau of permanent happiness. It is a never ending bliss now we seek as a sort of cultural obsession. We treat joy like a destination on a map. But if you look at the data, or even just look at your own life, you’ll see the map is kinda lying to you.
Ever heard of the hedonic treadmill? It’s this psychological phenomenon where humans return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative changes. You win the lottery? You're high for a few months, then you’re back to your baseline. You get a flat tire? You're miserable for an hour, then you're fine. We are biologically wired to adapt. This makes the idea of a permanent, unchanging "bliss" actually impossible for the human brain to maintain. Evolution didn't want us happy; it wanted us alert.
The Biological Reality of A Never Ending Bliss Now We Seek
The brain's reward system, specifically the dopaminergic pathways, is designed for the pursuit, not the prize. When we think about a never ending bliss now we seek, we are usually imagining a steady stream of dopamine. But dopamine is a "craving" chemical. It spikes when you're about to get something. Once you have it, the spike drops.
Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a neurobiologist at Stanford, has spent years explaining how "maybe" is the most addictive word in the human brain. If you knew you were going to be happy forever, your brain would literally stop paying attention. We need contrast. We need the "not bliss" to recognize the "bliss." Honestly, a life of pure, unadulterated pleasure would likely lead to a state called anhedonia—the inability to feel pleasure at all because the receptors have become totally desensitized.
Why the "Now" Part is Tricky
We live in an era of instant gratification. TikTok, DoorDash, Tinder. Everything is designed to give us a micro-dose of that bliss immediately. But researchers like Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, argue that this constant seeking of pleasure actually tilts our "pleasure-pain balance" toward pain. When we overstimulate the pleasure side, the brain compensates by downregulating our natural feel-good chemicals. So, the more aggressively a never ending bliss now we seek through external hits, the more miserable we feel in the long run. It's a paradox.
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Misconceptions About the Flow State
People often mistake "flow" for bliss. Flow is that state where you lose track of time because you're so deeply immersed in a task. It was popularized by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. While flow feels great, it’s not passive bliss. It’s actually quite taxing. It requires effort. It requires a challenge that meets your skill level perfectly.
If you’re looking for a never ending bliss now we seek by sitting on a beach and doing nothing, you're going to be bored in three days. Humans are "doing" creatures. We find meaning in the friction of life. Real satisfaction—what the Greeks called Eudaimonia—is different from Hedonia. Hedonia is the "bliss" of a good meal or a massage. Eudaimonia is the "bliss" of growth, struggle, and purpose. One is fleeting; the other is sustainable.
The Social Media Mirage
You see it on Instagram every day. Someone is posting from a villa in Bali with a caption about "finding peace." It’s easy to think they’ve found the secret. They haven't. They’re dealing with mosquitoes, slow internet, and the same internal anxieties they had back in New Jersey. We are seeing a curated "bliss" that doesn't exist 24/7. When we compare our messy internal lives to someone else's highlight reel, we feel like we’re failing at the hunt for happiness.
Practical Ways to Reframe the Search
Since we can't actually achieve a permanent state of high-octane joy, what are we supposed to do? The answer lies in shifting the goalpost. Instead of seeking a "never ending" state, seek a "resilient" state.
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Accept the Dip.
Expect that your mood will fluctuate. When you stop fighting the "lows," they pass faster. The pressure to be happy all the time is actually a major source of unhappiness.Prioritize Micro-Joys.
Research from the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center suggests that "awe" is a more powerful metric for well-being than "happiness." Seeing a sunset, looking at a massive bridge, or watching a kid learn something new—these small moments of awe regulate the nervous system better than chasing a big "bliss" event.Lean into the Friction.
Counter-intuitively, doing hard things makes the rest of life feel more blissful. This is why ice baths or heavy lifting are so popular right now. They reset the dopamine baseline. By voluntarily entering a state of "un-bliss," you make your normal, everyday life feel significantly better.
The Role of Connection and Service
There’s a famous Harvard study—the Grant Study—that followed men for nearly 80 years. The single most important factor in their long-term "bliss" wasn't money or fame. It was the quality of their relationships.
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Loneliness is a physical toxin. It raises cortisol and lowers life expectancy. If a never ending bliss now we seek is the goal, it has to be a collective pursuit. We find more lasting joy in helping someone else than we do in buying something for ourselves. That’s not just "kinda" true; it’s a biological fact. Altruism triggers the release of oxytocin, which acts as a buffer against stress.
Actionable Steps for a More Balanced Life
Stop looking for the end of the rainbow. It's a weather phenomenon, not a place you can stand. Here is how you actually move toward a more consistent sense of well-being:
- Audit your digital consumption. If an app makes you feel like your life is "missing" something, delete it for a week. See how your baseline mood shifts.
- Practice "Non-Sleep Deep Rest" (NSDR) or Yoga Nidra. These techniques help reset the nervous system without requiring you to "achieve" a meditative state of bliss. It's just maintenance.
- Invest in experiences over things. You've heard it before, but the science holds up. The "bliss" of a new car fades as soon as you get the first scratch. The "bliss" of a shared trip with a friend becomes a memory that actually gains value over time.
- Volunteer or mentor. Get out of your own head. When you focus on someone else's needs, your own anxieties about "not being happy enough" tend to evaporate.
- Adopt a "Good Enough" mindset. Psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this being a "satisficer" rather than a "maximizer." Maximizers want the absolute best version of everything and are rarely happy. Satisficers find something that meets their criteria and are much more likely to experience a steady sense of contentment.
True bliss isn't a destination. It’s the ability to navigate the highs and lows without losing your sense of self. It's a quiet, background hum of "I'm okay," rather than a loud, crashing wave of "I'm ecstatic." Once you stop looking for the never-ending peak, the valley doesn't look so scary anymore.