Official OT-Creativity Thread 2

[Lawrence]

Locrian, I really like the lighting, reminds me of this
ZoSo, those songs are amazing!

Here's one of the songs I made for Scruffs and DJD's Christmas game. (It's loopable by the way)

[ter-o]

Guys, I need your help 

I've participated to a matte painting challenge in 3D Total forums. It's my first matte painting ever, but I decided to join the challenge for the sake of wanting to learn matte painting.

The problem is that the forum is totally dead, so I get no c&c for what I am doing. Thus I must rely on your help to take me to the right direction. I am not cheating here, since people post their wips to the forum too and they give and get c&c, since everybody is learning and simultaneously helping eachother. The only problem was that it can take days to get any critique and I would like to go on with the picture.


The rules for the contest are here, so you know what I am supposed to be doing:

Topic: Summer to Winter

We will give you a very cool raw image (see below) and you will have to turn it into a winter scene, respecting the following requirements:

- You can ONLY use the image we provide you as base.

- You cannot make changes to the main architecture and position of the elements (lake, trees etc)

Other than that....have fun and be creative!


The raw image is here http://img107.imageshack.us/img107/4134/3940967021kc2.jpg

And here are the other contestants so far to give you perspective:

http://img146.imageshack.us/my.php?image=summertowinterbr7.jpg


----------------------

I first started changing the big image to a winter scene, but then I realized that I must think the overall composition and environment first, so I decided to do thumbnail sketches of my ideas. So far I've done only one of my ideas, since it's what I like the best myself. Now I need some critique regarding if it is alterated too much from the original plate and if I carry on, should I change anything

Here's the sketch (click the link, since thumbnail links doesn't seem to work):

http://img139.imageshack.us/my.php?image=icecaverk1.jpg

FYI, I used 2 pictures of ice caves from Dylan Cole (since they represented the look and framing I was aiming for in my imagination) as a placeholders to visualize if my idea works at all.

[InvaderLupus]

Here's a 10-minute play I wrote for theater class:

LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

I don't expect anyone to read it, but really hope that someone does so I can get some good feedback on what does and doesn't work with the script. I know it was just a little stupid homework assignment (and I was only given 2 weeks to write it), but I'm actually rather happy with the result, and hope to improve it so that I can possibly have some members of my school's theater department perform it.

[ndchristie]

I don't expect anyone to read it, but really hope that someone does so I can get some good feedback on what does and doesn't work with the script.

Personally I liked the idea for such a quick writeup (you aren't going to pull genius out of your ass in a week and neither is any other writer), so my only real crit would be to not rely so heavily on facebook-type word usage and overclarification.  not all the dialogue needs to be predictable and candid, people don't really speak that way often.  even within the vernacular there are so many variations that you use that don't sound like "I'm sorry mother.  You know I don't think that."  Human interaction is full of twists, turns, little hints and hidden reactions, deviations and evasions, and you can have these without actually lengthening your work because there are so many more mundane statements you'll be able to omit.  essentially, what you have now is the subtext of the entire thing down pat, but the actual lines could sound more human.

[InvaderLupus]

Thanks for the feedback, Adarias. Yeah, I feel that that's often the biggest problem with anything I write: the dialogue rarely sounds like something someone would actually say. I'll see what I can do to improve it.

[ndchristie]

Thanks for the feedback, Adarias. Yeah, I feel that that's often the biggest problem with anything I write: the dialogue rarely sounds like something someone would actually say. I'll see what I can do to improve it.

it's alright, it's already better than george lucas.  just keep at it

[MrMister]

A lot of people are plagued by unnatural sounding dialogue.. like Kevin Smith for example. He still makes funny movies v v

[Ben2theEdge]

I took a screenwriting class in school - one of the best experiences of my life. Class-mates would perform the scripts we wrote and many of the students had a hard time with the dialogue as it was usually very artificial, so I spent a good deal of that class experimenting to figure out how to write dialogue that even an amateur actor could perform convincingly. Ultimately I found that the best way to write dialogue is to act it out as you're writing it down; Eventually my brother and I wrote a feature-length script and we spent most of the time performing it and arguing whether it sounded natural or not.

[Helm]

As a comic artist I've also had to deal with the unnatural dialogue aspect. Here are some tips:

* Real people talk half in sentences and half in body language. Use a lot of half talk, broken sentences and mumbling, yet have the characters understand each other and follow through with more half talk, broken sentences and mumbling

* The more grammatically correct, syntactically sound and rich vocabulary-wise a sentence uttered is, the more the person that said it had intentfully pondered on it before they said it.

* When people are upset, or even very happy they talk (structure sentences) like children.

* There's a lot of different ways to say a single line. A minor inflection on the voice in a different part of the sentence changes everything.

*People don't say more than a full sentence or two before pausing, mumbling or breaking their sentence. Unless a very slow and deliberate method of speaking is employed, people don't talk as if they're reciting a script.

[ndchristie]

don't forget repetition - it can slow down the action, but it can also add a feeling of realism



or, if you don't want to be realistic, you should sounds really witty and deliberately rehearsed.  im not saying shakespeare, because if you could write on the level of shakespeare for homework you shouldn't be in school, but maybe something like Gilmore Girls where the dialogue is not always well written but it's witty and - most importantly - way too quick.  Actually, it's a bit like how my family talks, with all sorts of jokes said as fast as they can between real lines so as not to interrupt but still try to be funny....anyway i digress, but the main point is that whatever extreme you choose to explore, the dialogue should never be see spot run.