My composition is literally telling a story; "The soldier abandoned his army and is living his life on the mountains, but when he camped he encountered a bone dragon. He turned off the fire and hid behind the pillar.".
I know I've got a lot of things to improve; please tell me how should I do it. Maybe I should add clouds to add more details?
Is it really telling that story in all that detail? What makes the viewer know that he's a soldier? What makes the viewer know he deserted his comrades? How can we tell he is living his life in the mountains? All the viewer sees is mostly that bone creature, the moon and some rock-ish structures. The soldier is barely noticeable.
Adding more details would distract further from the story you want to tell now.
suggestions:
take your time to look and analyze skittlefuck's version, look at the perspective, look at the color scheme, be inspired by the composition and shading and see how it creates depth and atmosphere
for your particular story, you could use a similar composition like that but add a pillar very close to the viewer, make the soldier hide behind that pillar in the front so that "we are there" with the soldier in this moment of his life, perhaps add an expression of fear on his face/body language, the campfire could be subdued in a corner, bone creature should be aligned on the horizon with the soldiers head also on the same horizontal line, make the rock formations so that they guide the viewers eyes through the image, entering near the soldier, over his face, to the bone thing, use detail on important parts, the main actors in the scene, less detail in the unimportant areas which don't add to the story you're trying to tell
