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[Quest] The Fair-Use Follies of MegaDude!

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MysteryMeat:
Spoiler(Author's note: this is an experiment, so rules are going to be pretty loose.
This is a Quest-format adventure, meaning I draw the world and put up obstacles for you to overcome while you get control over your protagonist MegaDude. Suggestions will be taken as thoughts running through the protagonist's mind, spurring him either to action or back sass. Sometimes both!
This isn't going to be a particularly serious quest, mind, but if this test run is successful I might do more! Maybe! We'll see!  :y: :y: :y:

Also, if you see a ">_", that's a prompt to enter the next slew of commands!)


Your name is MegaDude. You came into existence in 2003 when a 15 year old boy in japan tried to make a game for his terrible original character (you).
He got about halfway through drawing your spritesheet, the startings of a tile set, and managed to sort-of cobble together the first level. Kind of.

Then he just quit entirely, leaving you stranded here with only one functional attack, your PEASHOOTER.
You have no jump animation, you slide across the ground instead of walking (let alone running), and you can only face right.
Frankly, your life sucks rancid donkey butthole right now.

Finally tired of not being able to even look left, you've decided to make your way into an actual game through your own grit and determination.

But first, you have to figure out how to get out of this horrible glitchy waste.
Thankfully, your programmer wasn't exactly great at coding, so this shouldn't be TOO hard to break completely, right?
>_

MysteryMeat:
Spoiler I feel I should clarify, art quality will increase dramatically once this story gets rolling. Please don't let the starter graphics scare you off.

CalimariGod:
Up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-start.

He was a flighty nerd. of course he would have put in the Konami Code without linking any reasonable action to it. Good chance it breaks the game.

Oscar Blomqvist:
This is both creative and funny. I'm not sure how to continue from that start, so yeah, I'm intrigued.

Probo:
that's a really cool premise man XD, hope you take it places!

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