I dident use a reference only because I heard that I will learn more if I don't use them. I keep trying and trying to get this right but I cant, I feel like its impossible I wait to long to start trying to draw and now its going to be literally impossible for me to learn anything. everyone I know can draw all my friends are amazing even my girlfriend can draw even my cousin who is 8 can draw better than me. for everyone it just looks like its just second nature for them. I don't even want to be the best artist ever, all I want is to be able to sit down with an idea and make it not sit down with a perfectly clear idea and try for hours to create something to no avail. I wish I drew when I was younger, and I know drawing takes a while it takes patience hours days or even months working on something and i'm willing to do that if only I could actually make anything to begin with. instead I try to make something fail miserably or have no idea what I want to make and even when I do I still screw it up and waste the rest of my day doing nothing occasionally siting back at my computer feeling like "yeah this will be the one Ill make something great ill finally get some direction on were I should go" only to be sucker punched by the fact that I have no skill and am still years away from making anything. I have so many ideas trapped inside of my mind with no way to let them out. I'm not against criticism I can take criticism but I cant stand the fact that I have the artistic ability of a toddler. and to sit with all of my talented friends and have them jot down what they call garbage and what I call a masterpiece irritates the hell out of me. I feel like i'm tied to a starting line and no matter how much I tug and struggle I cant with only myself to blame. I'm 17 going on 18 and I feel useless I cant express anything I cant draw I cant write I cant do anything. and to think I want to go to college for programming a skill which like everything else in my life I've never cared about until now. throughout my entire childhood I had every chance to learn but instead I did nothing I watched everyone I know grow and develop there own skills and I've learned nothing. sure I passed through everything my entire school life I've gotten nothing but good grades but what use is it. I've almost never studied a day in my life and I've still made it through everything perfectly fine. sure I've passed everything but I never learned anything. throughout my entire life I've looked at the great people who change the world and said "good for them I'll never be that good but eh I don't really care to be as good as them I'll just be normal". I've spent years developing stories and Ideas and thinking"these are fun ideas to think about but making them a reality is to much work I'll just think about stuff yes that's what I'll do I'll think about stuff and never actually do anything Ill think about how successful they could be and how much people would appreciate them and how happy I would be creating those things while never bothering to its safer this way. if all I do is think nothing can go wrong. nobody can criticize me." and that's all I do is do f### all or listen to music and think just wait and think never doing or achieving just thinking. that's why I cant be like the rest of you because I've only ever imagined success and I've never actually felt it. I'm sorry for going off on a tangent and I know i'm going to get negative karma for this I feel like I just had a massive mental release and I've learned a lot from this. I just cant stand that I've wasted all this time, i'm a failure and even if I try now i've wasted to much of my life.

for pretty much all of my spriting I've been using just my mouse. I have a tablet that hasn't been working for a while but i'm not sure if using a tablet has any benefits in sprite art .

i'm sorry if this is a stupid question but I have no clue how to post images here i'm not used to forums. despite being 17 I haven't bothered going to many. I clicked insert image but I don't know what to do after that this shows up but I don't know what to do with it.